The Padres are coming to town this weekend! That's right, ocean goers, and we're bring the wrath of Southern California baseball with us! You will be defeated handily, you and your pathetic 18 wins.
You are our hated interleague rivals! You will be destroyed by our offensive firepower! David Wells will harpoon you like whales, and our robot shortstop will use logic to prove your team worthless!
Hated rivals you are!
Boo Seattle Mariners! Hooray Beer! I mean Hooray Padres!
(and when we leave Seattle on Sunday, we're taking Ichiro with us. You can have Mike Cameron, remember him?)