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I'm going to be honest with you, I've been at a bar for a few hours and it's in nobody's best interests that I try to recap this game. I'll see if I can't get to a few bullet points but uh, I wouldn't count on it. Which means You Write The Recap! once again.

Biggest Contribution: JJ Putz, +29.7%
Biggest Suckfest: Raul Ibanez, Brandon Morrow, -11.2%
Most Important At Bat: Lopez homer, +31.7%
Most Important Pitch: Johnson walk, -12.2%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): +41.6%
Total Contribution by Position Players: +0.8%

(What is this?)