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This Year's Non-Roster Invitees

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Here's the list, go to town. Rayon Lampe returns with the bitchinest name in camp for at least the second consecutive spring, while Matt Perisho will do what he can to make the team that famously whipped his sorry ass six years ago. I kept three of the "Refuse To Abuse" t-shirts they handed out that day, although they mysteriously disappeared last January after the front office inked Carl Everett. If you're willing to go as far as Matt Perisho, you might as well also try to track down Ryan Glynn, Aaron Myette, and Tony Mounce, just to re-create the same "spaghetti at the wall" approach that blew up in the Rangers' face in 2000, and 2001, and 2002, and 2003, and 2004. Also there, among the infielders - none other than Gookie Dawkins. Jim Bowden swore we'd never get our filthy hands on his prized young shortstop, but Bavasi showed him.

Rey Ordonez aside (who's like last year's Fernando Vina, only infinity times worse), the most familiar non-Mariner name on the list is Aaron Small, one of the most obnoxiously irritating flukes in recent history. If the '05 Yankees can't patch together a reasonable rotation with their $927m payroll, they don't deserve to be saved by a 33 year old journeyman with ugly peripherals. By law, a team with that much money isn't allowed to dick around with freely-available minor league talent. Sure, Small got his comeuppance in the end, but not before piquing the Mariners' interest. He's a terrible pitcher, but that didn't stop us with Matt Thornton or Joel Pineiro, so Cha Baek and Jake Woods had better pitch their asses off this spring. I don't like the alternative.