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Haha, Joel Pineiro is the worst pitcher alive.

I was relieved that I got the night off from Mariner baseball for the first time in a while, but I'm also somewhat glad they lost, because I want to be here if and when they ever end this streak. More than a little anxious, I got a text message around 8:15 or so that read "9 0 a's bottom 4" and I breathed a little sigh of relief. "Not tonight," I said to myself. "Thank God."

Biggest Contribution: Greg Dobbs, +1.8%. Seriously.
Biggest Suckfest: Joel Pineiro, -28.6%
Most Important At Bat: Betancourt groundout, -4.5%
Most Important Pitch: Swisher double, -10.4%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -31.3%
Total Contribution by Position Players: -19.8%

(What is this?)

Just for the hell of it, I was playing a game of World Series Baseball '98 this morning. I was the Mariners, the computer was the Angels, and after racking up nine runs on 15 baserunners against Jason Dickson I thought "okay no manager in his right mind would leave his starter out there this long." Funny thing, life. Joel even did me two baserunners better. Mike Hargrove must be loving the fact that Seattle fans have found someone to hate even more than his sorry ass.

Ordinarily this would be cause for another edition of You Write The Recap!, but, no, don't. Just be sure to tune in tomorrow (Meche! Haren! 7:05pm PDT!), because this can only get funnier.