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NOTE: This is what happens when I write while I'm pissed off. I promise I'm not a threat to anybody's life. I apologize if you're offended by any of the content, although you can't tell me you didn't feel exactly the same last night.

From a post I made a few weeks ago:

...I've always been of the mindset that umpires are just another part of the "luck" equation that teams have to deal with on a game-by-game basis. Sometimes they make controversial calls in your favor, sometimes they make them against you, and it's not worth getting all up in arms over a call that didn't go your way because by the end of the season, the good and the bad are probably going to balance out.

Even after tonight, I still believe this to be true. Umpires aren't biased, and you're just as likely to have a call go in your favor as you are to have one go against it. Over a long enough period of time, the two should negate each other, and there won't be anything to complain about.

That said, allow me to say this -

I hate Mike Reilly. I hate him and I hope he's miserable for the rest of his life, living out his days in an apartment by himself after his wife leaves him for someone who knows how to please a woman and his four kids end up on the street having sex for money and doing dirty blow off the sidewalk because they never had a father who loved them. I hope his friends replace him and he's left having to do fruitless searches for information about himself on the Internet for validation, eventually coming to realize that there aren't any Mike Reilly websites or images because he's led a largely irrelevant life that hasn't had a positive impact on anyone. I hope he gets brutally mugged in the alleyway behind his building but doesn't lose his wallet because the criminal didn't want to steal the identity of someone so pathetic and worthless. I hope the checkout girl at his favorite grocer makes endless snarky remarks about how everything he buys comes in single servings. I hope he gets fired and the basement washing machine eats his quarters and colors everything pink so he looks sad and uncomfortable when he shows up at his job interview for the graveyard shift at his neighborhood Arco. I hope the dinner he buys at Red Lobster when he decides to "do something nice for himself" is undercooked and poisoned and that his toilet backs up from all the vomit. And most of all, I hope he reads this paragraph, so that in his final moments, when his life is flashing before his eyes, he knows how much people detested him.

Biggest Contribution: Richie Sexson, +14.5%
Biggest Suckfest: JJ Putz, -39.9%
Most Important Hit: Sexson homer, +24.3%
Most Important Pitch: Cabrera homers, -35.8%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -29.3%
Total Contribution by Position Players: -22.4%

(What is this?)

Once again, I'll post some of my thoughts on the game in a bit when I'm a little less steamed.