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Biggest Contribution: Ichiro, +27.1%
Biggest Suckfest: Eddie Guardado, -35.2%
Most Important "Hit": Lopez DP, -17.9%
Most Important Pitch: Ford homer, -35.2%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -2.7%
Total Contribution by Hitters: -47.3%

(What is this?)

The Mariners get swept in Minnesota, the 3-through-6 hitters go a combined 1-17, the lineup goes hitless in 15 plate appearances with men in scoring position, Raul Ibanez and Richie Sexson hit 750 feet of outs in the tenth inning with two men on, Joel Pineiro has his fourth consecutive forgettable start, Eddie Guardado serves up a walk-off homer to the .292-SLG Lew Ford, and all I can think about is how Mike Hargrove is a God damn fool.

To Texas now, with Jarrod Washburn looking to put an end to this four-game losing streak. Dropping all three almost certainly means we have a new manager for the Kansas City series (a perfect opportunity to reel off a few wins and say "see, the shakeup worked!"). Losing two might still do the job. I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not quite sure what I want to happen.

Now You Write The Recap! Or You Bitch About Our Dumbass Manager. Whichever. I guess they're both kind of the same thing, at least as far as today is concerned.