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Biggest Contribution: Gil Meche, +6.8%
Biggest Suckfest: Jose Lopez, -11.1%
Most Important "Hit": Petagine pop out, -5.6%
Most Important Pitch: Tejada double, -9.9%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): +11.1%
Total Contribution by Hitters: -61.1%

(What is this?)

Good news - Gil Meche just put everything together, meaning that, for the next four days, people will be too busy arguing over whether or not Gil is finally breaking out to reflect on what might have been the most pathetic offensive display of the season. In retrospect, that bleacher ticket was an absolutely colossal waste of $7.

You'll want to tune in tomorrow, as Felix takes on Francisco Liriano at 5:32pm (??) PDT. The M's are almost certainly going to get shut out, but if Felix is up to it, this could turn out to be the best pitching duel of the year.

Now, You Write The Recap! That is, if you think there was something worth talking about, which there probably wasn't.