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Devil, Thy Name Is Thunderstix

I'm not entirely sure where this whole thing started - the first I ever saw of it was in Anaheim during the 2002 playoffs - but it's spreading. To my knowledge, it's hit Anaheim, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and (now) St. Louis in baseball, Carolina and Tampa Bay in the NHL, and any number of college campuses across the country.  

As far as I can tell, we're witnessing the development of a group of people afraid to use their hands to clap or their mouths to cheer. A people who require a pair of inflated phallic props that they can bang together just to retain some modicum of interest in the game on the field.

Please tell me that Seattle would never stoop this low. Humor me. Lie to me. Do whatever you have to do. Just, please.