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Mariners Magic Cards *Mateo card added*

In the game thread, somebody requested an umpire version of the magic card I did earlier, so here it is. Also with the Rally Dino version. What's funny is that I've never even played this game before.

I'm bored, so taking requests on other cards I should create.

300 Character Fact:
Images should count towards the character count. Because the html is still me typing characters. And that is a fact.

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Willie Bloomquist
When played, all players' grit increases +3, while team's chance of winning decreses -6. Find something else for increases and decreases, because it's stupid to decrease negative 6. It's 1:30 and I'm tired.
I know! We can teach someone to hit against lefties by benching them every time we face them! -Mike Hargrove

by Mariner John on Jun 23, 2006 1:21 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Oh how I wish
that post was Auto Format.
I know! We can teach someone to hit against lefties by benching them every time we face them! -Mike Hargrove

by Mariner John on Jun 23, 2006 1:22 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I had to make one these are to awesome
I can't control my heart rate I have a cougar on me. - Ricky Bobby

by Scruffy Lefty on Jun 26, 2006 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nice
Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Jun 26, 2006 12:10 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

hahahahaha
I love it.  Good job.

by MT on Jun 26, 2006 7:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Images should be worth
At least 3500 characters

by Graham on Jun 23, 2006 1:25 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Putzenbomber
A card with JJ of course on it.

Text:
When played game is over.

Opponent must take all cards remaining in deck and go home, you lose.

You could probably come up with some more creative text though!

by Replacement Level Poster on Jun 23, 2006 3:14 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Richie Sexson
Tap 4 strikeout manna to induce potential Home Run Attack.  Home Run Attack can also be immediately induced with Raul Ibanez Intentional Walk card or 3-1 count card.
"...after seeing him for 500 career starts, hitters still haven't figured out a way to consistently pounce on his junk." - Jeff on Jamie Moyer

by Gomez on Jun 23, 2006 10:11 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Hahaha I like that one
I'm using it word for word.
Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Jun 24, 2006 11:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Go for it
Richie Sexson is funny for all the wrong reasons.
"...after seeing him for 500 career starts, hitters still haven't figured out a way to consistently pounce on his junk." - Jeff on Jamie Moyer

by Gomez on Jun 25, 2006 11:18 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

The Run Fairy
Current pitcher is replaced with Eddie Guardado, all runners instantly score.

by chrisisasavage on Jun 23, 2006 12:10 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Mike Hargrove
All players neamed Jose Lopez MUST bunt

All rookies and/or young players on roster are benched

by mariners124m on Jun 23, 2006 1:52 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Heh
All creatures must be tapped in the exact same sequence in every round.
"...after seeing him for 500 career starts, hitters still haven't figured out a way to consistently pounce on his junk." - Jeff on Jamie Moyer

by Gomez on Jun 23, 2006 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Today's card of the day is
-- Gil Meche --

Flip a coin each inning.

Heads: Standard Effect.  Creature throws well and gets batters out.

Tails: Unpredictable effects.  Big inning imminent.

by ThundaPC on Jun 23, 2006 2:03 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Someone mentioned last night...
A Yuni-Bomber card would be good....If someone can photoshop Yuni's face onto Ted Kazyncski (sp) they will be declared LoL photoshop master.

Can be played offensively or defensively:

If played on offense, all Cubans players will recieve an added power boost.

If played on defense, all infield holes will be sealed. Can only be defeated by arial attacks.

by PLU Tim on Jun 23, 2006 2:26 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Not quite a card...
But I threw this together:

by admiralzing on Jun 23, 2006 3:28 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

nice
I can't control my heart rate I have a cougar on me. - Ricky Bobby

by Scruffy Lefty on Jun 23, 2006 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

HAHAHA
AWESOME.
"...after seeing him for 500 career starts, hitters still haven't figured out a way to consistently pounce on his junk." - Jeff on Jamie Moyer

by Gomez on Jun 23, 2006 4:25 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

So
When's this new expansion pack going on sale? :p

This is pretty cool stuff.  Keep it up! :D

by MT on Jun 25, 2006 1:24 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Willie Ballgame and Richie cards coming
either later tonight or tommorow.
Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Jun 25, 2006 1:59 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Rick Rizz card
When played, optimism increases by 5 (even when defeat appears inevitable).

Male pattern baldness is removed from deck if combined with HCFM card.

Game becomes excruciating if paired with Ron Fairly card.

"I cussed him out in Spanish, and he threw me out in English." Lou Piniella

by Mike Schooler on Jun 25, 2006 2:46 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Roberto Petagine card
"Return to bottom of deck.  Draw new card"

by Alex B on Jun 25, 2006 4:05 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

You read my mind!
That's exactly what I was going to put on that card!
Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Jun 25, 2006 4:06 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

hillarious!!!
lololololol

by MT on Jun 25, 2006 5:07 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hehe
I guess we're all just fed up of Grover's Peta-intransigence.  How long before he requests a trade?  This is surely not what he had in mind when he came back from Japan.

by Alex B on Jun 25, 2006 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

btw
is the picture on the umpire card Frank Dreben from "Naked Gun"??
Don't bother me, I'm hustling.

by Phildopip on Jun 25, 2006 10:00 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

STEEEEEEEEEERIKE
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEY HEY HEY!!

by basebliman on Jun 25, 2006 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

And don't call me Shirley
"...after seeing him for 500 career starts, hitters still haven't figured out a way to consistently pounce on his junk." - Jeff on Jamie Moyer

by Gomez on Jun 25, 2006 11:19 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It's Enrico Pallazzo!
Was there any reason they chose the Mariners for the game or was it just random selection?

by Alex B on Jun 25, 2006 2:25 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

At the time they were both horrible teams...
and they had them fighting for the division title, so that was kinda funny back then. Now it's a common occurrence. I think there was a little bit of LA humor in there where they were talking about a big ball game and it was involving the Angels, not the Dodgers who were always the SoCal darlings until 2002.

by basebliman on Jun 25, 2006 5:23 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dave Spiewack
Wasn't there a guy named Dave Spiewack that played for the Mariners in that one?

by Colby In Boston on Jun 26, 2006 7:30 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

HAhahahahaha
I LOVE the Hargrove and Eddie cards.  Great work.
"...after seeing him for 500 career starts, hitters still haven't figured out a way to consistently pounce on his junk." - Jeff on Jamie Moyer

by Gomez on Jun 25, 2006 11:20 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Oakland Series
Instant

Lose three games.

by Rollo Tomasi on Jun 25, 2006 4:27 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Felix Hernandez
Fastball Attack can do double damage of regular Fastball Attack, but only when used in conjunction with Royal Curve and Changeup Attack.  When used alone, Fastball Attack causes Home Run Counterattack for double damage.  Felix accumulates 2 strikeout manna for every turn that Home Run Counterattack is avoided.
"...after seeing him for 500 career starts, hitters still haven't figured out a way to consistently pounce on his junk." - Jeff on Jamie Moyer

by Gomez on Jun 25, 2006 9:19 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Also...
When card is played, the rest of the game is played on the ground.

by AnotherAaron on Jun 30, 2006 9:35 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Note
It's Big Sexy, not Big Richie.

by Aaron on Jun 26, 2006 9:48 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

It's both.
The Big Richie is from the commercial.

Besides, I've always found the Big Sexy thing to be kinda stupid.

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Jun 26, 2006 9:49 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah
He ain't Kevin Nash.
"...after seeing him for 500 career starts, hitters still haven't figured out a way to consistently pounce on his junk." - Jeff on Jamie Moyer

by Gomez on Jun 27, 2006 9:08 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

George Sherrill
When Card is played left handed hitters -200 OPS right handed hitters +100.

by Peen on Jun 27, 2006 10:00 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Jake Woods
Card has no effect.

Chance of winning/losing already decided.

I know! We can teach someone to hit against lefties by benching them every time we face them! -Mike Hargrove

by Mariner John on Jun 27, 2006 10:46 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I suck at this.
But it looks fun.

Moyer...

Artifact: The oldest card in the deck.

Game play slows to a crawl. Once opponent becomes accustomed to the new pace, gameplay slows to glacial.

Reed...

If played in California, add 300 points of OPS, 1 HR and 1 double.

If played anywhere else, subtract 300 points of OPS, add 2 strikeouts and a GIDP.

by AnotherAaron on Jun 29, 2006 8:35 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Snelling
Once card is played fan interest increases, hope rises, and everett is removed from deck.

Card destroys itself in 5 days.

by Peen on Jun 29, 2006 2:32 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

heh :)
nice nice.  Good job!  I like Jeff's quote.

by MT on Jul 3, 2006 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Rene Rivera
Card may be drawn once every 7 turns.  When played, deck must be dropped on the floor.
"I cussed him out in Spanish, and he threw me out in English." Lou Piniella

by Mike Schooler on Jun 30, 2006 3:31 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Ichiro Suzuki
If played during a month that rhymes with maple, reduce hit attack by 50%. All other months, increase hit attack by 33%

Special Provision: Counter attacks Doubter, Overrater, Anti-Asian, and Joe Sheehan cards with hit attack + 90%

by Matthew on Jun 30, 2006 8:38 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

4-6 weeks
Is beginning to look more like the rest of the season. Surgery and pins.

by anotherjeff on Jul 3, 2006 9:42 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

These are great
My favourite ones are the Everett and J.J. ones. I have never played Magic, but you made my boyfriend very happy because he's such a Magic dork.

Oh and it would make my day if you could make an Ichiro one.

by Lurker on Jul 3, 2006 2:18 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Ok OK
Someone do the cockpunch card. It has been good to Putz and Beltre. I think it deserves a card.

by anotherjeff on Jul 3, 2006 6:12 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

here you go
I can't control my heart rate I have a cougar on me. - Ricky Bobby

by Scruffy Lefty on Jul 5, 2006 12:57 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Funny
how the cock punch was used on Taterdrunk's brother, and Jered mowed us.  I guess that's 3 for 3.  USE IT ON HARGROVE.
SWUNG ON AND BELTED! DEEP TO... shortstop....

by Gomez on Jul 5, 2006 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

ah yes...
Those two magic words put together can remind me only of this.  
Sports and Bremertonians. Because we can.

by wackomann on Jul 5, 2006 11:54 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

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