May 28th: Bavasi gives Jarrod Washburn's kinder, cheaper equivalent to the Padres for free.

May 28th: With the Mariners standing at 19-34, 12.5 back of the Angels, we learn that they have no intention of making Brandon Morrow a starter this year, because they like what he brings to the team in the eighth inning. Morrow admits to the media that he's disappointed.

May 28th: Miguel Cairo starts at first base.

May 30th: Carlos Silva and his shiny new $48m contract get booed off the mound in the first inning. 

May 30th: Miguel Cairo starts at first base.

May 31st: Miguel Cairo starts at first base.

June 1st: Miguel Cairo starts at first base.

June 3rd: Miguel Cairo pinch-hits in the bottom of the ninth of a one-run game.

June 3rd: Geoff Baker lets us in on the fact that the Mariners are on pace to become the first team in history to spend $100m on payroll and lose 100 games.

June 4th: Jose Vidro bats cleanup and goes 0-4, dropping his OPS below .600. Jeff Clement and his AAA OPS that is literally double that of Vidro gets the day off.

June 4th: The Mariners achieve the worst record in baseball by getting swept by a minor league version of the Angels on their own turf.

June 4th: Overcome with disbelief that his preseason expectations were totally wrong, Bavasi instructs his players to sit in front of their lockers and think about what they've done, failing to understand that he's the one responsible for putting all these assclowns together under one roof. He did so with an eye towards chemistry.

June 4th: Richie Sexson refuses to sit in front of his locker and think about what he's done.

June 4th: Everybody in the organization starts calling each other names and I receive confirmation that the clubhouse has officially become a complete train wreck. Ichiro insinuates that he's emotionally broken. John McLaren flips out.

June 5th: An organization with needs at every single position but one spends its first round pick on exactly that of which they have more than enough. Fields brings good stuff but joins a list of college relievers taken in the first round that to date has brought a lousy collective return. The rest of the day's picks are also strange. The team does not get a sandwich pick between the first and second rounds because it retardedly refused to offer arbitration to Jose Guillen.

-----

It's time to press reset, because this game is over.

That was new.

Biggest Contribution: Jarrod Washburn, +13.7%
Biggest Suckfest: JJ Putz, -56.0%
Most Important AB: Ichiro homer, +11.2%
Most Important Pitch: Molina double, -27.5%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -55.1%
Total Contribution by Hitters: -10.5%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +15.6%
(What is this chart?)

Enjoy your Saturday. I know I won't.

Mariner Press Release

Bill Bavasi announced today that the Mariners have agreed to terms with catcher Kenji Johjima on a three-year, $24M contract extension. Johjima, who was eligible for free agency at the end of this season, is now signed through 2011.

You all know why this such a horrible move. Clement, the likely draft compensation from letting Kenji walk, Kenji's age, Kenji's horrible start to 2008 (and not just his numbers, he looks bad), Kenji's workload, etc etc etc.

It's not good.

The Mariners are being coy about it, but the situation looks to be worse than they're letting on, and the fear is that if Bedard gets an MRI and a proper diagnosis, they'll have to shut him down for a significant amount of time. And if they don't do that and decide to play it day by day, it's an injury that could nag him all season.

There's really nothing we can do but cross our fingers that Bedard heals quicker than he's ever healed before in his life. Ever since we first caught wind of the trade rumors in December, we've known that he's fragile. Well, now we're confronted by his fragility, and we've no choice but to deal with it and hope for the best. In the meantime, man this sucks.

I guess in a way we kind of deserved this, what with everything the Angels are going through. I thought things were getting a little too easy.

Ironic that there were rumors about AJ's hip holding up the trade not too long ago. Good one, world.

Putz to 15-day D/L

Putz felt discomfort on a pitch to Michael Young in the 9th inning last night and was sore after the game. The Mariners had a precautionary MRI exam done today. It revealed that Putz has mild costochondritis on his right side. Costochondritis is inflammation where cartilage attaches to a rib.

Costochondritis is basically treated with rest and ibuprofen. The prognosis depends on the severity of the swelling. Most cases tend to take months before pain subsides.

Ray Corcoran has been called up in the meantime.

Jeff's note: in a weird way this is kind of a relief. Since it probably explains JJ's lack of command last night, now my brain can pretend the whole thing never happened and get back to thinking JJ's unhittable when he makes his return. In the meantime, uh oh