Ellsbury offense (career): .329 wOBA*
Ellsbury offense (2008): .319 wOBA*
Ellsbury defense: good --> great CF
Ellsbury birthdate: 9/11/83

Jones offense (career): .321 wOBA*
Jones offense (2008): .324 wOBA*
Jones defense: good --> great CF
Jones birthdate: 8/1/85

Jacoby Ellsbury was 24 when he debuted and collected his first 100+ plate appearances in the Major Leagues. Adam Jones was 21/22. As it stands, Jones is two years younger than Ellsbury and every bit as good overall as a player.

While Ellsbury may get all the attention, Jones is just as good now and - given his age and skillset - in line to be the better of the two down the road. By a pretty fair margin if his power comes back. The return of Jones' home run ability would dwarf the slight advantage Ellsbury gains by being a better baserunner.

Boy did we ever make a mistake. And also fuck the hype machine.

It is with grave concern that I bring the following matter to your attention:

The practice of raising bonsai outfielders in miniature glass containers is barbaric and senselessly cruel. We are calling on a good soul to free Jacoby from his keepers and feed him a ham sandwich. Please - please, if there is any human compassion in your heart - take action and rescue this young man while he still has the physical capacity to develop into a normal adult. As a society we cannot in good conscience allow the same unfortunate fate to befall him as we did Brandon Fahey. Such negligence would forever go unforgiven.