Last one out of the Kingdome, turn off the lights.
First it was Ivan Calderon, that curly-haired ne'er-do-well. Then it was Spike Owen and Dave Henderson, those sullen delinquents. Now, Danny Tartabull's been handed his walking papers.
All of them "uncoachable", all of them "the wrong kind of player" for the Mariners.
Maybe "the wrong kind of player" is one that makes more than the league minimum.
After all, this is a team that cries poverty every time a free agent mentions Seattle, a team whose owner is known by the Tampa Bay rental car agents by name.
Maybe the Mariners should try selling playoff tickets to raise revenue.
After all, what's next? Trade Mark Langston for a bunch of minor leaguers? Sell Ken Phelps for some nobody? Wait for some new draft pick to come save the team?
Ownership continues to soak fans for every dollar through their three-dollar Rainiers and their empty promises.
The Mariners must be good, the logic goes, because they're willing to give talent away.
Danny Tartabull is one of the young stars of the game, someone we'll be talking about twenty-eight years from now. Not only was he a guy who could drive in runs, he could do it when it counted. Tartabull had six game-winning RBI last year, best on the team. Mike Kingery had one. Who's going to make up those five wins?
The way this ownership throws players around, you'd think they treated them like names and numbers instead of people. You can talk about Tartabull's shortcomings, talk about the things he didn't do well. You know what I talk about? Someone to get excited about.
It ain't Mike Kingery. Sorry, folks.
The fans are sick of it, too. The team drew just over a million fans last year, dead last in the American League. They're not going to come to watch Mike Kingery. Why would they? Even if he turns out good, he's just going to get traded away, too.
It'll be some new name on the back of the jersey to boo.
If ownership continues down this path, there'll be no fans and no players left.
Last one out of the Kingdome, turn off the lights. We wouldn't want to rack up the electric bill.