Mariners Mariner a Mariner game

hello yes i would like to argue this stupid shit now please thank you - Otto Greule Jr

The Twins beat the Mariners on Thursday, 4-2.

Well, I did a couple of things today. One of the things I did was go to the beach with a couple of my friends, and walk along the water with my ankles in the sand while I checked up on the Mariners on my cell phone. I got yelled at a bit, and while any other season might have warranted a "what the fuck are you doing, put your phone away," this season of unlikely wins and Wild Card stuntin' warranted a "what the fuck are you doing, put your phone away even though the Mariners are doing ok" kind of thing.

Today the Mariners lost to the Twins, and it was kind of a bit of a bummer game. I didn't watch any of it, but I listed to it on the radio, and it sounded just as sad as the box score was. Today was a bullpen start by Tom Wilhelmsen, and while that had nothing really to do with the loss, it was just as sad as all the other stuff that went into the game. Here are the stats on the M's pen, which is *remember* leading the AL in just about every category:

  • Tom Wilhelmsen: 2.2 IP, 1H, 2R, 3BB, 0 White Russians, Unbalanced Whiskey to Sour ratio in each drink.
  • Danny Farquhar: 2 IP, 4H, 2 R, 0 Sexy strikeouts that made us all excited about the guy in the first place.
  • Joe Beimel: 1.1 IP, 1H, 1BB. Stop with your lefty shit.
  • Dominic Leone: 1 IP, 1H, 1K. Okay, 1K is so far the best stat of the night.
  • Charile Furbush (yes, Charile. I saw someone call him this once on this site years ago, and for all time, he is CharILE furbush): 1IP, 1H. It's the pinnacle of ginger lefties.
  • Lucas Luetge: 1IP, 1H, 1BB. You signed my baseball once after some stupid nine year old kid thought you were Justin Smoak, so you deserve everything good coming to you, good sir. Unfortunately, everything good is a bullpen night days before the All Star break while your playoff team shits the bed in earnest. And that's what we had here.

Today the M's put up 12 hits but only managed to sneak out 2 runs to the Twins' 4. The closest moment came late in the seventh, when James Jones tried to run out an RBI sac fly from Kyle Seager which scored Endy Chavez. Jones was tagged out at third, which capped off a bit of a nightmare night that saw a series of bad catches and pickoffs on the basepaths, confirming that yeah, James Jones is a bit of a surprise on the field that may not be 100% ready for the big leagues. We can say all this fully knowing that tomorrow he is going to hit two doubles and steal a base, but it doesn't make it any less true.

In addition, the evening saw yet another continuation of classic Mariners garbage, where everyone got some offensive action while being stranded on the bases. Bizarre replay stuff in the seventh aside gave leadoff man Endy Chavez two times in the basepaths, James Jones 3 times (despite all the other struggles), Robbie Cano three, and hell I can't tell you who got hits as much as I should tell you who didn't: Logan Morrison, condor, Mike Zunino, and Willie Ballgame. In fact, Michael Saunders had to leave the game late after ticking his face with the bat after two strikes, because apparently he is allergic to any quick action on the field, and the Mariners are totally fucked in the interim.

Dustin Ackely took the field to complete his at bat--two strikes in hand. He saw one pitch, and struck out. The M's rally was done. It was seriously a nightmare.

I'm not going to lie to you: all this was happening while I was driving through the Oregon forest and enjoying some classic '80s tunes in jest. I didn't see Ack strike out on a single pitch or Jones replay review at third because It's summer, and I'm driving up to Seattle to see all this in person for the next couple of days. Today was garbage, and yesterday was garbage, and the day before was garbage. Many of you are complaining that we are trying to sugarcoat whatever the M's are doing with simple complacency that attempts to whitewash bad baseball with great excuses that shouldn't be: The M's CAN'T secure a wild card spot with offense like this. They just can't.

But trades are coming. M's scouts are looking at the Rays. This A's series is going to be huge. I can't say anymore about this stupid fucking 4-2 loss that seems like an orange lid on a gatorade bottle of shame and despair, but it only seems like a matter of time until something great happens. Shit, now I'm trying to convince myself. It's time for bed, Matt.

I realize this is far from the most exciting game or recap we've ever done here. But after the M's beat the A's tomorrow we can talk about a playoff run. Until then, it's the stark reality for this dang team, trying to make it all happen. It will, soon. Probably not tomorrow, but you get my drift. Larbon Jam isn't going to let anyone up him on his big day, anyway.

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