my new favorite baseball picture - USA TODAY Sports
Wedge: /approaches home plate
Weiss: /approaches home plate
Wedge: /stares Weiss in the eyes
Weiss: /stares Wedge in the eyes
Wedge: Good luck today.
Weiss: Thanks. You guys too.
Wedge: I just wanted you to know something.
Weiss: What's that?
Wedge: /reaches into back pocket
Wedge: /retrieves handful of marbles
Wedge: I love the taste of marbles in the morning.
Wedge: /tosses marbles into mouth
Weiss: It's the afternoon.
I checked out yesterday, but the Mariners didn't check out, or the Mariners checked out and won anyway, which would be so them. These aren't your grandpappy's Mariners. These are the 2013 Mariners, the all-time-franchise-spring-training-winning-streak-record-breaking 2013 Mariners. The Mariners have won nine spring-training games in a row, which is better than they've ever done, and their one loss was the charity game, where they lost for the charities. I don't think it's too strong to refer to this club as a dinger-mashing juggernaut, and the Rockies are about to get an unwelcome cleat in the ass. The Mariners play the Rockies today, see. They're not just going over to kick them in the ass for no reason, although it's not because they couldn't if they wanted. Game on television! For the first time!
- AGAINST ROCKIES
- AT HOME IN PEORIA
- 12:05pm Pacific
- Gameday link
- on TV on ROOT Sports, and on MLB Network on a delay. No radio feed
The Mariners' starting lineup:
Franklin Gutierrez, CF
Kyle Seager, 3B
Raul Ibanez, DH
Justin Smoak, 1B
Casper Wells, RF
Eric Thames, LF
Kelly Shoppach, C
Robert Andino, 2B
Carlos Triunfel, SS
Missing from the Mariners' roster of position players for WBC purposes are Michael Saunders and Alex Liddi, one of whom makes the Mariners a better baseball team. Saunders could be missing for a short while, while Liddi should be missing for a considerably shorter while. Today, against the Rockies, the Mariners will field players. These players will perform better than the Rockies' players, right down to the Carlos Triunfel parts. It's interesting to see that Wells is batting in front of Thames, given Thames' raw strength and power potential. Wait, no, I mean it's not interesting. It's not interesting to see that Wells is batting in front of Thames. It's a spring-training starting lineup. Why would there be anything of interest? Of note is that the Mariners are electing to go with a blank eighth slot, instead of a player. Oh hold on, I've just been informed that Robert Andino is batting there. I didn't see him in the order, whoops. Distinguish yourself, Andino!
Starting for the Mariners on the mound will be Jon Garland, meaning the first pitch of a Mariners game you might see on television this year will be thrown by Jon Garland, to Eric Young Jr. I predict it will be an 88 mile-per-hour fastball, and I predict it will miss away. Scheduled to pitch in relief was going to be Danny Hultzen, but he's been scratched with a minor injury of a sort that's unlikely to develop into a major, horrible injury. I say that like I'm some sort of expert. Hultzen has a strained hip flexor, and he should be out for just a few days, or like a year and a half in the event he needs to have his whole hip replaced. You'll still get to see Taijuan Walker on TV, as he'll come between Garland and Tom Wilhelmsen. That's Taijuan Walker, on TV, against major-league competition. Or, failing that, that's Taijuan Walker, on TV, against Colorado Rockies. I don't see Hector Noesi anywhere on the list of scheduled or available pitchers so I'm thinking shutout, or maybe something even better. Pitching for the Rockies will be pitchers who might be aware of what the Mariners just did to Martin Perez yesterday. Consider yourselves warned, you nothings.
The Mariners have put together seven consecutive multi-homer games. The last time they did something like that was in September 1995. It's about time they get back to refusing to lose. Sorry, Rockies -- you just have the misfortune of being in the way.