USA TODAY Sports
After vanquishing those dastardly Texas Rangers -- or at least people who were pretending to be the Texas Rangers but weren't actually any good at baseball -- the Seattle Mariners get to play against Oakland. Because this matchup is never dull.
Time: 1:05 p.m. PDT.
Location: Phoenix Municipal Stadium, Phoenix, AZ.
As in all spring training games, the Mariners have released their list of probable pitchers. Unlike most games, however, I'm pretty sure that they're lying. Bawcom, Smith, Mieses, Burgoon? Those aren't real people.