3/1: Spring Training Open Game Thread

you know it's baseball season when you've got pictures of Jeff Datz - USA TODAY Sports

Well, I went and did it again and waited too long before I started writing this post. Which means I need to hurry, again, which means this post is going to be stupid and bad, again. Did you know that yesterday was the last day of February? Thus, did you know that today is the first day of March? I'm predicting that the Mariners are going to "march" right into the ballpark and kick the living shit out of the visitors. The visitors today are from Texas! They're actually from all over the place, but they represent Texas. They haven't actually all been to Texas yet this year. So do they actually represent Texas, yet, or is it a commitment that they're going to begin representing Texas in a month?

Details:

  • MARINERS
  • AGAINST RANGERS
  • AT HOME IN PEORIA
  • 12:05pm Pacific
  • Gameday link
  • broadcast on the radio and audio streamed online

The Mariners' starting lineup:

Dustin Ackley, 2B
Jason Bay, DH
Kendrys Morales, 1B
Michael Morse, RF
Michael Saunders, CF
Kelly Shoppach, C
Carlos Peguero, LF
Robert Andino, 3B
Brendan Ryan, SS

I think we can go ahead and confirm that Eric Wedge just automatically bats Brendan Ryan ninth, because today Brendan Ryan, the Mariners' presumed starting shortstop, is batting behind Robert Andino, the Mariners' presumed backup shortstop. Ryan has the better career OPS+. Last year, Ryan and Andino had identical OPS+es. I guess Andino hasn't yet demonstrated his relative ineptness before Wedge, while Ryan has and just did for an entire regular season. Ryan also has a higher career OPS+ than Carlos Peguero, which is a funny thing to think about. Consider how strong Peguero is. Consider how weak Ryan is, at least in terms of mashing dingers. Now consider that Ryan has the better career batting numbers. Think about why! It's amazing!

The top two in the Rangers' order are Ian Kinsler and Elvis Andrus, as you'd expect, and though I'm not one to order intentional injury, think about how much better the Mariners' odds at the division might be if a fastball or two got away from one of their pitchers this afternoon. They say the most noble characteristic for a player to possess is a willingness to leave it all on the field, to do everything in his power to help his own team. There are more opportunities out there than you might recognize. One way to get better is by making your team better. Another way to get better is by making other teams worse. Because everything is relative, you see.

Starting for the Mariners on the mound will be James Paxton, opposite Randy Wells, with whom I am familiar, but with whose acquisition by the Rangers I was not familiar. Randy Wells' middle name is David, so he could go by David Wells if he wanted to, and that would be interesting because there has already been a David Wells! Wow! Paxton will pitch hot fire in front of PITCHf/x cameras, and then Brandon Maurer will do the same, and then Anthony Fernandez won't throw hot fire but he'll still get those fuckers out because they're worse than the Mariners are. Andrew Carraway could pitch, and Brian Moran could pitch, and Jhonny Nunez could pitch, and Logan Bawcom could pitch. Look at all of this organized teamwork. The Mariners have been practicing!

The Mariners are 6-1, having won six games in a row. The Rangers are 1-5-1, because they suck. I don't even know if the Rangers have any marbles for the Mariners to claim, they're just that pathetic. In theory, the Mariners will play for all the marbles, but in reality, they'll probably just play for the satisfaction of beating some dudes. Even after all those other beatings, it hasn't gotten old.

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