HOWDY SPORTS FANS
I know you guy do not know me in person, but I am a big shot Hollywood guy. Anyhoozle, I also happen to be a Mariners fan. I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out how I can inject life into the Mariners fanbase.
Since I am a big shot Hollywood type, I naturally thought "Hey, maybe I should create a movie!" So I did! Better yet, what do people love more than original movies? Sequels, remakes, and rip offs! With that I present to you my movie (still in progress):
ACKLEY IN THE OUTFIELD
Premise: The movie opens with a kid living in a foster home in the Seattle area. His mom is dead or something and his dad is a jerk that wasn’t in his life because he went to jail for stealing cars and other criminal activity (picture an unshaven James Franco in this role).
So, the kid finally runs into his dad (just to drive the point home that it is Seattle maybe at the Pike Place Market or for dramatic affect outside of the needle exchange) and he asks his dad when they will live together. His dad sneers, "Kid, when the &*$% Mariners make the goddamn playoffs."
So the kid goes home and writes a letter to Dustin Ackley (its March or something, so before the season starts). He tells Ackley (playing himself) about being in foster care, and his mom and what his dad says. One day he comes home from school and his foster person (Angelina Jolie???) tells him he has a package. It is from noted Mariner Dustin Ackley! He sends him a jersey and two opening day tickets (right behind home plate). He shows some of the other kids who only show interest when they see they will be playing the Red Sox. One of his foster brothers (played by that guy in the Hunger Games movies) is a huge Sox fan and is older so he can take him to the game!
The kid (oh yeah, his name is Tommy) goes to the game with his foster brother. He is excited and wearing his Ackley Jersey and a Mariners hat. They get to their seats. His foster brother pulls out a flask and starts drinking and becomes verbally abuse toward other fans (as Boston fans are wont to do). When it is Dustin Ackley’s turn to bat, Tommy stands up and yells, "Hey Dustin! It is me Tommy! I believe in you!" Dustin turns around and stares at him and says nothing. He promptly grounds out weakly to second base.
The Mariners end up losing 4-1 after the bullpen implodes. Ackley goes 0-4 with 4 ground outs. At the end of the movie the Mariners finish 4th in the AL West. Dustin Ackley hits .255/.320/.375 while playing a slightly below average Centerfield. Sometime during the season, Tommy gets hit by a bus. He fully recovers but has to repeat a grade in school.
So what do you guys think?