Franklin Gutierrez was in the Mariners' starting lineup against the Angels Thursday afternoon. Franklin Gutierrez is not in the Mariners' starting lineup against the Athletics Friday night. "Something must have happened," you think to yourself, completely ignorant of the fact that, yes, something most certainly did happen. Do you even read this website or watch the Mariners? This is what happened on Thursday, in the fifth inning:

The satisfying thing is that Gutierrez hung on for the catch, robbing Mike Trout of extra bases, because fuck that guy. Gutierrez even completed the rest of the half-inning. But then he was removed after jamming his wrist and feeling kind of dizzy. He said later he felt fine, but I mean, again, he's not starting Friday.

Thankfully, it doesn't seem like there's anything to worry about:

Franklin Gutierrez says he doesn't have any headaches, just a little stiff neck after wall crash. Figures he'll be back in lineup tomorrow.

— Greg Johns (@GregJohnsMLB) September 28, 2012

At first, Gutierrez was holding his wrist. Then he started feeling dizzy. Now his neck hurts. Gutierrez's discomfort is like a fish in a shallow stream: you can spot it, and you can observe it for several minutes at a time, but the instant you reach in to try to grab it it swims away to somewhere else. Basically what I'm saying is the Mariners need to identify the part of Gutierrez that hurts and shoot it with a gun. That'll make him stop hurting.