Assorted

A few days ago, while walking by a McDonald's, Ms. Jeff decided to tell me about how McNuggets are made, or at least about how she thinks that McNuggets are made. I don't know how much of her story is true, and it's possible that all of her story is true, and hearing her story made me want to throw up. What follow below are some nuggets, but they are not McNuggets. They will not make anybody want to throw up, probably. They will also not make you fat and unattractive if consumed in large quantities. Sample these nuggets as often as you like! When doing so please remember to refresh a lot so I can get a raise.

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As you've heard, the Mariners signed relievers Hong-Chih Kuo and Shawn Camp to Major League contracts. There was some possibility that Kuo would sign a minor league contract, but he did not sign a minor league contract, as he signed a Major League contract. Assuming that Kuo doesn't come completely undone in spring training, it's looking like the bullpen is mostly sorted out.

There'll be Brandon League to close. There'll be Kuo and George Sherrill from the left side. There'll be Camp from the right side, and probably Shawn Kelley, and probably Tom Wilhelmsen. Then maybe the seventh slot goes to Blake Beavan or Charlie Furbush. The bullpen isn't completely closed off and guys like Aaron Heilman or Josh Kinney could earn a spot given the breaks, but two slots just disappeared today in one press release. Just like with the Tigers' Prince Fielder press release lolololol

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To make roster room for the relievers, the Mariners designated both Chris Gimenez and Mike Wilson for assignment. Neither comes as much of a shock although I'm still trying to figure out who Yoervis Medina is. The thing about these moves is that both Gimenez and Wilson could clear waivers and remain in the organization so it's not yet time to say goodbye.

If Gimenez gets claimed, it'll be because he's a catcher who can play other positions. Last year he started at catcher, first base and left field. If Gimenez doesn't get claimed, it'll be because he hasn't demonstrated that he can really hit. He's been passable in triple-A. He's been not-passable in the Majors. He's another guy with a lower career OPS than Hong-Chih Kuo.

If Wilson gets claimed, it'll be because some front office doesn't believe in quad-A hitters. Last year in Tacoma he put up a .973 OPS. If Wilson doesn't get claimed, it'll be because last year in Tacoma Carlos Peguero put up a .923 OPS, and Michael Saunders put up an .864 OPS, and Ryan Langerhans put up a 1.000 OPS. Out of context, wow, Mike Wilson! In context, oh, hey, Mike Wilson. I would personally like to see what Wilson could do with 500 at bats, but Major League Baseball isn't an experiment over which I have complete control. I wanted much more to see what Wily Mo Pena could do with 500 at bats and that didn't pan out. Maybe it's also Mike Wilson's time to turn his attention to Asia.

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According to Greg Johns, some catcher named Christian Carmichael tested positive for PEDs. I guess I don't know if he tested positive for PEDs or PED. I don't know a whole lot because who on Earth is Christian Carmichael? I bet he's the guy who catches Yoervis Medina. Baseball-Reference tells me he's 19 and Hawaiian and the guy the Mariners took in the sixth round in 2010. The Lookout Landing archives tell me we've actually written his name before. But he's completely, and I mean completely slipped my mind since the draft. Because of the PED or PEDs, he won't play for a while in 2012, so be sure to account for that in wherever you account for these things.

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We'll close with some Hong-Chih Kuo bat flip .gifs.

That is an absolutely flawless, magnificent bat flip. That is a bat flip that has been practiced. That is a bat flip that has been practiced so often that it came naturally upon Kuo's first-ever home run. Hong-Chih Kuo has practiced his bat flip a lot.