Mariners Play Mariners, Eventually Stop Playing

it's probably best that we just don't acknowledge one another

Earlier Friday, the Seattle Mariners played against the Seattle Mariners in the first intrasquad game of spring training. A few hours later on Friday, the Seattle Mariners stopped playing against the Seattle Mariners, perhaps because it dawned on all of them that they should have been playing together rather than capturing all of human existence in a nutshell. At the point at which they stopped playing, the Mariners had three runs, and the Mariners had three runs. From one perspective, the Mariners tied the Mariners at three. From another perspective, the Mariners blanked the non-Mariners 6-0. I'd say that's an encouraging way to get started.

The big story to come out of the intrasquad game is nothing. The relatively big story to come out of the intrasquad game is I guess that Chone Figgins worked a really long at bat against Danny Hultzen to lead off in the first. Figgins walked then, and he drew another walk against James Paxton later on. Hultzen said Figgins fought off some tough pitches that probably would've gotten minor league hitters out, so kudos to Chone Figgins on being better than minor league hitters in this instance. That sounds really sarcastic and I'm obviously hoping that Figgins bounces back like a motherfucker, but, intrasquad game. We'll say that Figgins' effort was positive and leave it there.

Brendan Ryan hit a home run off Oliver Perez and subsequently didn't run the bases. He just turned around and walked back to the dugout. Every part of this is my favorite. One interpretation is that Ryan doesn't know what a home run is, and so he wasn't sure what to do. Another interpretation is that Ryan wanted Perez to feel as bad as possible. The actual correct interpretation is that Ryan didn't want to rub it in Perez's face and figured the homer would've been a fly out in Safeco, but they don't hold spring training so that players can just walk around and do whatever they want. Ryan was supposed to jog, and he didn't jog. Look for Eric Wedge to make Ryan do some disciplinary circular jogging over the weekend.

Geoff Baker snapped this awesome picture of Alex Liddi after he struck out:

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Catcher's out of the picture. Pitcher's way off the mound. Liddi's just standing there, looking at his shoes. Alex Liddi doesn't know how to handle a strikeout. If there were anybody in this organization I'd expect to be able to handle a strikeout...

Carlos Peguero went 1-for-4 with a strikeout and a broken-bat triple, which pretty much nails him right on. Michael Saunders doubled, and given how many of us feel about Michael Saunders and given how his career has gone to date, that's neat, and Saunders should put the ball on his mantle. I hope you don't mind that I'm not distinguishing between which Mariners players played for which Mariners teams. Hong-Chih Kuo walked two guys in one inning, so it looks like he's resolved nothing and is a certain failure. Taijuan Walker threw a 1-2-3 inning with two strikeouts. It's almost impossible to find anything even remotely critical that's been written about him in the last few months. He could be something special. He is something special, to his family, but he could eventually be something special to us.

I don't know what else there is. The Mariners put Lucas Luetge in charge of handling a two-run lead over the Mariners in the final half-inning. Luetge blew it, hence the tie. It was an altogether disappointing turn of events for the Mariners, but an uplifting turn of events for the Mariners.

Glad to have baseball back. The meaninglessness of this game and some of the players involved make today feel kind of like September. The season just flies by!

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