FanPost

OPS Trendlines and Life Comparisons

Baseball is about trends, as is life. Sometimes you're trending upwards, and sometimes you're trending downwards. Think about it. Then take a look at these sweet charts I made!

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Jaso's year was like hearing that your hotel stay comes with free breakfast! Then the receptionist telling you that it's mostly continental. But when the morning comes, you slowly realize that they have scrambled eggs, sausages and french toast. Just, no omelet station.

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Seager's year was like when you're not sure if any of your friends are going to be able to come to your annual camping trip. But early in the planning stages, you start getting all these positive responses and it starts to sound really really awesome! A few people cancel along the way, but a lot of your buddies still make it and there's still enough people for a tackle football game on the beach.

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Saunders' year was like this casserole that your mom used to make for you and you hated it. It was just nasty. But then your wife makes it with a few adjustments and it turns out to be pretty good! Wow, you think! Maybe there is some potential here!

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Wells' year was like a t-shirt that looks cool on the rack, but when you try it on its much too baggy. But you wear it and wash it and the dryer shrinks it a little bit so that it actually fits pretty well! But then you stain it with some ice cream and stop wearing it for a while, because gross. But eventually, your wife says, "Where's that t-shirt you used to wear? And she helps you get the stain mostly out.

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Montero's year was like that time you tried to get into Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. You heard online that it was really good - great character development and a lot of potential. But it just lacked consistency and moved too slowly. In the end, you liked what you saw, but you're left wanting more.

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Smoak's year was like going to the fair. First you arrive and there's not much going on. All of the horses and goats are just standing in their stables with their big hairy asses facing you and you start to think, why did I pay $9 to come here. But then you walk by the scones and eat 4-5 delicious scones and the scones win AL Player of the week in your mind. Then you go on the teacups and get so sick you throw up the stupid scones all over the shoes of an angry carny. You leave the fair and sit on a bench outside for a while. Right before the fair closes, you see the lights of a roller coaster and decide that maybe you feel well enough that you want to head back in for a little bit longer.

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Ackley's year was like looking forward to the weekend on a Thursday night. You're thinking - wow! It's basically the weekend already! I can go down to the Matador with my wife and friends for a few drinks, because I mean, nobody really works on Fridays anyways. But then all day Friday you just feel awful. You can't focus on work and it sure doesn't feel like the weekend. The day just drags on and on and on, and by the time you can finally go home for the weekend you just want to take a nap.

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Olivo's year was like if you bought some Chinese food and your fortune cookie said, "You will contract a terrible illness in the near future." And you think to yourself, what kind of company puts this kind of message into a cookie?? But then later that day you start feeling really really bad. You can hardly move and you just lay in bed helpless and pitiful. But then your wife comes home and says she's got some of your favorite movies to watch while you're recovering. But then it turns out that she accidentally got the "Mockbuster" versions made by the Asylum production company.







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