Series Preview: Seattle Mariners @ Toronto Blue Jays

MARINERS (43-52) Δ Ms BLUE JAYS (47-49) EDGE
HITTING (wOBA) -120.2 (30th) -15.3 19.3 (9th) Toronto
FIELDING 27.1 (4th) 0.6 -21.1 (25th) Seattle
ROTATION (tRA) 34.7 (4th) -6.4 -27.0 (24th) Seattle
BULLPEN (tRA) -1.2 (18th) 1.2 5.0 (9th) Toronto
OVERALL(RAA) -59.6 (25th) -19.8 -23.7 (19th) TORONTO

A fan walked up to a Mariner game
And he said to the men playing the game
Hey. Got any runs?

The men said "No, we just have upside.
We try and we try but it's all we provide.
Would you like to watch?"
The fan said, "Not without Scotch"
Then he wandered away. Till the very next day.

When the fan walked up to the Mariner game
And he said to the men playing the game
Hey. Got any runs?

The men said "No, shut out again,
We swing and we bunt but much to our chagrin
We are just that bad."
The fan said "That's sad"
Then he wandered away. Then he wandered away. Then he wandered away
Till the very next day.

When the fan walked up to the Mariner game
And he said to the men that were playing the game
Hey. Got any runs?

The men said "Look, we just can't get any hits.
We think we should all just quit.
Want to go grab a beer?
The fan just sneered.
Then he wandered away. Then he wandered away. Then he wandered away.
Till the very next day.

When the fan walked up to the Mariner game
And he said to the men that were playing the game
Hey. Got any runs?

The men said "That's it!  
There's absolutely nothing here to enjoy
And we're tired of you trying to make all that noise
So sit down and be quiet!"
The fan said "This ain't private."
Then he wandered away. Then he wandered away. Then he wandered away.
Till the very next day.

When the fan walked up to the Mariner game
And he said to the men that were playing the game
Hey. Got any ushers?

"What?"

You got any ushers?
"No, why would we– Oh!"

Then I am left to wonder:
Got any runs?

And the men just stopped. Then they started to smile.  
They started to laugh.  They laughed for a while.
Then they said, "Come here fan, let’s go to Tacoma.  
They have some runs there. Hope you don't mind the aroma."

So they headed to Cheney and the men bought some tickets.
They offered one to the fan and the fan paid a visit.

"But you know what sounds good? I actually have a yearning.
Do you think this game,
do you think this game,
do you think this game...
has any... pitching?"

Then he wandered away. Then he wandered away. Then he wandered away.

Tue 19 Jul 16:07

MICHAEL PINEDA BRETT CECIL*

Welcome back Mike Carp. You potentially get to face two left-handers and Brandon Morrow. I have already assumed you will fail and based on those two or three or one or zero games, some people will start or continue to dismiss you. The Mariners poor offense has passed the point where I was only tired of the players. Now I'm turning against the fans as well. I'm not sure who will be next. Hot dogs? Beer? Maybe I'll try turning on beer. Is nothing sacred?

Wed 20 Jul 16:07

JASON VARGAS* BRANDON MORROW

The biggest difference between Brandon Morrow the Mariner starter and Brandon Morrow the Blue Jays starter, other than the all the more innings with Toronto, is an increase in called strikeouts. With Seattle, Morrow got a called strike three on about 3% of batters he faced. In Toronto, he's raised that to 7% with no drop in his ability to get swinging strikeouts. An absolute jump of 4% in strikeouts is a big deal and I wonder if it could have been predicted, what with called strikeouts being so fickle in general.

Thu 21 Jul 09:37

DOUG FISTER RICKY ROMERO*

Wow, a 9am start time! This will be fresh and exciting. Not that we need a gimmick to make a Doug Fister start exciting. Think of the fastballs and sinkers we will witness! Oh man, I'm hyperventilating just imagining it. Where's my inhaler?

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