Gutierrez has a diagnosis

Irritable bowel syndrome. I'm not even going to try and contain the gross jokes y'all are about to make.

about 1 year ago Matthew 54 comments 0 recs |

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Poop

by ScottBrowne on Apr 23, 2011 7:07 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

Wet farts

by Shmelix Shmernandez on Apr 23, 2011 7:09 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions

Did anyone else look at this and say...

What??? He had to go to the Mayo clinic to get diagnosed with one of the most common disorders in America? Our team doctors must blow.

by Woody! on Apr 23, 2011 7:14 PM PDT reply actions

There's no specific test for it

Donut takes a while to rule out other things

by Shmelix Shmernandez on Apr 23, 2011 7:19 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions

Fucking iPhone

So it*

by Shmelix Shmernandez on Apr 23, 2011 7:20 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions

It got "donut" out of "so it"?

by the other side on Apr 23, 2011 7:29 PM PDT up reply actions

Yeah I missed the space bar

by Shmelix Shmernandez on Apr 23, 2011 7:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Maybe he's right

Guti might have to be using one from here on out.

by nathaniel dawson on Apr 23, 2011 10:49 PM PDT up reply actions

I was surprised to find that donuts are in fact valuable diagnostic tools for GI tract disorders.

House used on in season three! And he’s like, the best doctor ever. Fuck you, Sanjay Gupta.

Teams (for foreign blogs): Seahawks, Mariners, Huskies and Broncos. Yes, I recognize the contradiction; I was born in Denver.

by THolt on Apr 23, 2011 10:49 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions

I like to think there is a Dr. Donut out there somewhere

by LeftArrow2 on Apr 23, 2011 7:28 PM PDT up reply actions

IBS varies greatly from person to person

If you read PubMed’s page on IBS, it looks like it can be caused by different things, vary in severity, and have different treatments from dietary changes to drugs. That page says that 1 in 6 people in the US have it, but Guti’s case might have been more severe and perhaps harder to treat than the average case.

by urchman on Apr 23, 2011 7:47 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm glad it's not something more serious.

The firm diagnosis and treatment ability provides a little relief.

M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA SanFranPreps

by perfectstrat on Apr 23, 2011 7:15 PM PDT reply actions

Isn't IBS relatively common?

If this is in fact the true diagnosis, shoudn’t this have happened earlier? I’m a little concerned if our training staff couldn’t diagnose IBS..

by UW2010 on Apr 23, 2011 7:15 PM PDT reply actions

Apparently IBS is typically diagnosed deductively; that would explain why they only just found out.

by katal on Apr 23, 2011 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions

According to the article, the local doctors thought he had IBS.

But an IBS diagnosis really means they don’t know what the underlying problem is. In other words, the Mayo Clinic didn’t find anything, either. But I assume they ruled out a few rare diseases that the local doctors don’t have much experience with.

What're ya gonna do with those pies, boys?

by rickpo on Apr 23, 2011 9:19 PM PDT up reply actions

It does sound

like a catch-all. His bowels are irritated sounds more like a symptom than a diagnosis.

by wobatus on Apr 24, 2011 4:53 AM PDT up reply actions

I hope they got it this time.

Only thing he can’t catch is a goddamn break.

by the other side on Apr 23, 2011 7:15 PM PDT reply actions 6 recs

Sorry guys

by .Taylor on Apr 23, 2011 7:19 PM PDT reply actions

I think you mean sorry gays

by Poochie on Apr 23, 2011 7:40 PM PDT up reply actions

I can count on my left hand how many funny poop jokes have been made in the history of the world.

I just counted to zero.

by Robert on Apr 23, 2011 7:25 PM PDT reply actions 6 recs

You cut off your left hand?

M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA SanFranPreps

by perfectstrat on Apr 23, 2011 7:27 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

You didn't need your left hand for that.

by katal on Apr 23, 2011 8:13 PM PDT up reply actions

Got to keep it fresh somehow.

It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray

by Faux on Apr 23, 2011 10:16 PM PDT up reply actions

It's pronounced "Spacheman!"

Also, good news! My pen light still works.

Teams (for foreign blogs): Seahawks, Mariners, Huskies and Broncos. Yes, I recognize the contradiction; I was born in Denver.

by THolt on Apr 23, 2011 11:36 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions

I knew Gutz was a Ladykiller.

by plish on Apr 23, 2011 8:20 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

I'm happy for Guti that it wasn't something far worse, and that he finally has a light at the end of the tunnel.

by SeattExPat on Apr 23, 2011 8:32 PM PDT reply actions

Kind of an unsatisfying diagnosis

IBS can merely be a symptom of a lot of other things, so this definitely still leaves the door open. Though I’m sure they’ve eliminated the more serious possibilities as well as they can, it’s possible that some stomach issues just don’t become obvious to medical testing until later in life. Not that IBS isn’t extremely uncomfortable but it isn’t usually a standalone condition from what I understand of it.

by OlSalty on Apr 23, 2011 8:33 PM PDT reply actions

A former girlfriend of mine had IBS

Talk about an annoying condition. Symptoms come and go, when it flares up, it’s bad. At times it felt like dating an alcoholic or addict. I’d come home and hope she was having a good day, just to find her curled up on the couch and unable to do anything, done for the day at 6pm. Other times she’d feel great for days at a time. I am not encouraged by this diagnosis at all.

by Confess on Apr 23, 2011 8:47 PM PDT reply actions

sounds like she was a Mariners fan though

From The Hawks Nest - Seahawks Podcast
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/from-the-hawks-nest/id385227705

by Hancock.Brett on Apr 23, 2011 9:58 PM PDT up reply actions 6 recs

Is IBS a permanent type of condition?

Or does it go away with/following treatment? Like is Guti gonna be all better once he’s back? or are we gonna have to worry about this flaring up for him for the next X number of seasons?

by BQueezy on Apr 23, 2011 8:53 PM PDT reply actions

It's probably going to be a permanent and recurring problem

But they’ll likely get him on a treatment plan which should help him be able to manage the symptoms of it better.

by OlSalty on Apr 23, 2011 8:56 PM PDT up reply actions

I think people with IBS can get medical marijuana if I am not mistaken.

2011 Safeco Field Record: 0-0 ; Overall Safeco Field Record: 12-5

by Fin on Apr 23, 2011 9:08 PM PDT up reply actions

Let Guti smoke?

by Flamefox111 on Apr 23, 2011 9:26 PM PDT up reply actions

That would make sense

given that he’s lost so much weight and hasn’t been able to eat well, seems like it would be a logical solution to his issues.

by BQueezy on Apr 23, 2011 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions

Well that is some shitty news.

2011 Safeco Field Record: 0-0 ; Overall Safeco Field Record: 12-5

by Fin on Apr 23, 2011 9:08 PM PDT reply actions

I'm curious. Did you post this comment before or after the reply to OlSalty's comment?

by TrustBaseball on Apr 23, 2011 9:27 PM PDT up reply actions

Well hopefully now with a real diagnosis...

they can get him on some proper medication to help the symptoms.
Then get him back to Seattle, because we could sure use his bat and glove.

by Kunkoh on Apr 23, 2011 10:14 PM PDT reply actions

I don't think that's the problem

His bat and glove have probably remained at Safeco. The problem is Guti wasn’t there to use them.

by killer_ewok18 on Apr 23, 2011 10:44 PM PDT up reply actions

I was afraid it would be this.

That’s a very painful condition to live with. Poor Guti. :(

by royalcurve on Apr 23, 2011 10:42 PM PDT reply actions

He's done just like Brandon Roy

Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon

by Gekko Mojo on Apr 23, 2011 11:42 PM PDT reply actions

I hope you're joking.

by M'sFanatic on Apr 24, 2011 12:52 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions

Brandon Roy scored 18 points in the fourth quarter tonight to overcome a 20 point 4th quarter deficit.

"I can't recommend highly enough going back and watching old clips of Jose Lopez." -Jeff Sullivan

by joof on Apr 24, 2011 1:01 AM PDT up reply actions

Thanks Joof

by M'sFanatic on Apr 24, 2011 1:10 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions

I'm shocked it's taken this long to identify inflammation.

What the fuck was that ‘slow digestive tract’ BS? Also, IBS is sort of a catch-all phrase for a wide range of conditions some of which are very manageable and some not so much. Basically, we don’t know much more about his stomach problems now than earlier, which is okay since the man has some rights to privacy.

by Bearskin Rugburn on Apr 24, 2011 6:29 AM PDT reply actions

I likes this quote from the article

“It’s basically a confirmation of what our guys here thought he had and now it is matter of treatment,” said Eric Wedge.

Even baseball players play doctor sometimes I guess.

by Edgar for Pres on Apr 24, 2011 9:41 AM PDT reply actions

Must make the post game showers kind of fun, I bet Figgins has an innie

by Kermit. on Apr 24, 2011 10:15 AM PDT up reply actions

"Our guys here", meaning the Mariners medical team and not Miguel Olivo.

by abender20 on Apr 24, 2011 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions

That makes more sense

I don’t really know why I didn’t think this….

by Edgar for Pres on Apr 24, 2011 12:36 PM PDT up reply actions

as others here have noted, IBS is not a clinical diagnosis of a disease

“Syndrome” by definition means the cause of symptoms has not been identified, and the docs will simply treat symptoms using a series of interventions until they find one that works (then they will point and say AHA!)

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

by blacknoiseNW on Apr 24, 2011 12:26 PM PDT via mobile reply actions

It's not often you can pinpoint the exact moment someone catches a disease

Much less capture it on video, but I think in this case we have: May 19, 2009, just minutes before a game against the Angels, at the 1:23 point in the national anthem, when Mike McCready’s rocket’s red glare struck Gutierrez… he needed to be holding that cap lower to protect himself, I guess.

by Ugly Dickshot on Apr 24, 2011 12:33 PM PDT reply actions