Franklin Gutierrez is off to the Mayo Clinic

Further evidence that everything is worse when mayo is involved.

about 1 year ago Jeff Sullivan 36 comments 0 recs |

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Ranked #1* in gastroenterology.

*Rankings do not take swarms of fans on the internet into consideration.

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors

by JY on Apr 18, 2011 4:42 PM PDT reply actions

The Mayo Clinic is sort of the Red Sox of hospitals

Mayo Nation and everything…

by Bearskin Rugburn on Apr 19, 2011 8:28 AM PDT up reply actions

We aren't going to repeat the vile canard that mayonaise is wrong and evil, are we?

by msb on Apr 18, 2011 4:43 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

My site, my culinary opinions

by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 18, 2011 4:51 PM PDT up reply actions

Where does the site stand on Miracle Whip?

What're ya gonna do with those pies, boys?

by rickpo on Apr 18, 2011 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions

It's a miracle that people can stand it!

by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 18, 2011 4:54 PM PDT up reply actions 13 recs

Oh, fine.

by msb on Apr 18, 2011 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions

How about hollandaise?

It’s nearly 100% Gootch is doing all of this as a super troll on abender20.

by Kermit. on Apr 18, 2011 6:06 PM PDT up reply actions

Or else sb is behind this as revenge for bender relentlessly mocking his love of horrible players and subsequent jersey choices

by Kermit. on Apr 18, 2011 6:08 PM PDT up reply actions

This whole situation makes sad for myself, the team

but primarily poor Gutierrez. Who is in pain and most likely scared out of his wits as a promising career dangles in the wind.

by TheBishop on Apr 18, 2011 4:45 PM PDT reply actions

Exactly.

My biggest concern right now is for his health and well being, and that’s it. It’s got to be frightening to have something going on that the doctors can’t explain.

"I would like my undies back"

by Thingray on Apr 18, 2011 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions

They can explain it

Doctor: Your body doesn’t work the way a body is supposed to work and it’s probably because of something in here.
Doctor: /points to Gutierrez’s midsection
Doctor: Understand?

by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 18, 2011 4:51 PM PDT up reply actions

Then tears off the patch on his smock that says "Mayo Clinic"

to reveal “Dr. Nick’s” underneath.

by TheBishop on Apr 18, 2011 4:52 PM PDT up reply actions

I don't think Dr. Nick is that competent.

by Patrick Stites on Apr 19, 2011 1:49 AM PDT up reply actions

The kneebone's connected to the something.

The something’s connected to the red thing. The red thing’s connected to my wrist watch….uh oh.

by thebyron on Apr 19, 2011 7:27 AM PDT up reply actions

Shriracha Mayo is the best

I would feel more comfortable if he went there instead.

by LeftArrow2 on Apr 18, 2011 4:47 PM PDT reply actions

Shiracha Ranch is even better.

"I would like my undies back"

by Thingray on Apr 18, 2011 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions

Must try!

by thebyron on Apr 19, 2011 7:29 AM PDT up reply actions

Gutierrez is going to be on the next episode of House

Also, is the Mayo Clinic any better than other medical establishments?

by Edgar for Pres on Apr 18, 2011 4:54 PM PDT reply actions

I sure hope the crib notes version is

smoke ’em if you got ’em.

by Jed MC on Apr 18, 2011 5:03 PM PDT up reply actions

It's fantastic

by Matthew on Apr 18, 2011 5:00 PM PDT up reply actions

For gastroenterology they are probably one of the best in the world.

People don’t usually wind up there unless it’s a big deal, without getting into specifics or inviting others to do so.

by OlSalty on Apr 18, 2011 5:01 PM PDT up reply actions

Why don't they just check Web MD?

M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA SanFranPreps

by perfectstrat on Apr 18, 2011 5:06 PM PDT up reply actions

Why would they want to find out he has cancer?

by doublemazaa on Apr 18, 2011 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions

Or ask LL for suggestions

I mean really.

by Bearskin Rugburn on Apr 19, 2011 8:31 AM PDT up reply actions

Excellent hospital, well funded research arm, at the forefront of medicine in many fields.

by Bearskin Rugburn on Apr 19, 2011 8:30 AM PDT up reply actions

We should send him a giant get-well card

by d0nkey on Apr 18, 2011 5:03 PM PDT reply actions

And a muffin basket he can't eat

by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 18, 2011 5:08 PM PDT up reply actions

"Your illness inconveniences everyone"

by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 18, 2011 5:09 PM PDT up reply actions 10 recs

I like your style

by d0nkey on Apr 18, 2011 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions

Usually when it's Mayo and it costs that much they call it Aoli

by Ugly Dickshot on Apr 18, 2011 5:04 PM PDT reply actions

I have a field trip to do circular dichroism at the Mayo tomorrow. Even though the chemical spectroscopy section is probably nowhere close to the wierd, messed up stomach section, it would be awesome to see DTFT there!

by themanleyman on Apr 18, 2011 5:22 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs