Here's to Unpredictability

Here's to good luck for us, and bad luck for them,

Here’s to another royal Opening gem,

Here is to aging curves that are crazy and flukey,

Here’s to unfathomable breakouts by Pineda and Lueke,

Here’s to low BABIPs for pitchers and high BABIPs for batters,

Here’s to March Madness brackets uniformly in tatters,

Here is to saying "Hey, that's why they play the games,"

Here’s to high strand rates in high leverage frames,

Here's to closing your eyes and smashing a slider,

Here’s to ERA-FIP splits impossibly wider,

Here’s to mixed feelings about our competitors' sprains,

Here’s to uncalled for statistical gains,

Here’s to unsustainable Homer/Flyball rates,

Here’s to the unpredictability of future dates,

Here’s to predictions, predictably wrong,

Here’s to running up stairs to the Rocky theme song,

Here’s to unwavering excellent health,

Here’s to David, and Upset, and Virginia Commonwealth,

Here's to playing over your head, and out of your mind,

Here’s to finding a nut, for a squirrel that’s blind,

Here is to columns in which writers eat crow,

Here is to all of the stuff we don't know,

Here's to the things that are unquantifiable,

Here's to UZR variations that are unreliable,

Here is to massive confidence intervals,

Here’s to the Stone Age of statistical tools,

Here’s to regression in a good way,

Here’s to the standings as they stand today.