Not surprisingly, the M's are leaning heavily on Felix Hernandez and Ichiro. Felix has a bobblehead, a shirt, and a knit cap, while Ichiro has a bobblehead, two shirts, and a replica jersey. One of those shirts will be designed by Ichiro himself, which (again) sounds exciting, but based on last year's similar promotion, the result won't be as completely ridiculous as whatever you have pictured in your head. Unless Ichiro knew he'd be doing this twice and decided to use the first for purposes of misdirection, in which case we can look for this year's shirt to be form-fitted and ferociously pink, with shoulder spikes and a front center emblem featuring the likeness of Chalchiuhtotolin, Aztec god of plague and disease.
As for the rest, the most clever promotion might be the Franklin Gutierrez fly swatter, while the most curious promotion is probably Viva Las Vargas Night, on which the first 10,000 fans ages 21 and up receive Elvis-style sunglasses. I get that "Vargas" and "Vegas" sound somewhat alike, but one doesn't remind you of the other, unless you take the bags under Vargas' eyes to be indicative of heavy drug use, which is one of those messages the Mariners probably have a policy against sending.
There's a salute to the 2001 Mariners in there, which'll probably make some fans happy and some fans annoyed, and there's also a night dedicated to the Seattle Sonics, which should be pretty cool. And now I'll leave you to peruse the complete promotion schedule at your leisure.