Hey Cheer Up Idiots

Today is Christmas. If you celebrate Christmas, today is supposed to be a happy day. If you do not celebrate Christmas, today is still supposed to be a happy day, because they are all supposed to be happy days. We are free to designate our days as we choose. Why would we not designate every day as a happy day? It's good to be happy!

To lift your spirits, here is a quick post that I'm writing in between things. I'm not going to pretend like I'm not just mailing this in, trying to get something written as fast as possible, but I'm mailing it in for you, and besides, there are worse things to mail in. Like anthrax! Now I'm on a list.

You know what should make you happy? That there are still Prince Fielder rumors. I know, I know, it's actually kind of annoying that there are still Prince Fielder rumors, but the fact that there are still Prince Fielder rumors means that the Mariners' offseason is still interesting. It's Christmas and we don't know quite what the Mariners are going to look like in March. As long as there are rumors, the offseason isn't empty.

You know what should make you happy? That there are still people talking about how the Mariners should trade Felix Hernandez. I know, I know, it's actually kind of annoying that there are still people talking about how the Mariners should trade Felix Hernandez, but as long as there are people talking about how the Mariners should trade Felix Hernandez, the Mariners have Felix Hernandez, and Felix Hernandez is awesomely desirable. The Mariners have Felix Hernandez. No other team has Felix Hernandez! The Astros have Federico Hernandez, and some indy league team has Felix Adamkiewicz, but only the Mariners have Felix Hernandez, who is 25 years old.

You know what should make you happy? That the A's are just about set to move to San Jose. Based on the NHL example, them fuckers aren't gonna win shit.

You know what should make you happy? That the Mariners finished last season 67-95. Because, while the season itself was miserable, at least in the second half, there was a lot of promising development, and now the Mariners get to pick third in next year's draft. Some players recently drafted third overall: Eric Hosmer, Trevor Bauer, Manny Machado, and Evan Longoria. The Mariners will get to select from every single available player, minus two, adding to what's already an impressive crop of young talent in the Majors and minors. Lurking beneath all the Fielder rumors is the reality that the Mariners are getting better.

You know what should make you happy? Michael Pineda. Dustin Ackley. Justin Smoak. Danny Hultzen. James Paxton. Tons of guys. More than anything else, baseball. Baseball should make you happy. All of the big things and little things about it that are so absolutely important, and that are so not important at all. Baseball isn't the world's best distraction, but only because it's so easy to start a fire. Baseball is just always there to talk about or think about - that is its madness, and that is its beauty.

Have a great 25th, and all days.

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