Vernon Wells Makes His Decision
by Jeff Sullivan on Nov 1, 2011 2:21 PM PDT
in Around Major League Baseball
Email
PrintVernon Wells' seven-year contract included an opt-out clause following the 2011 season. Monday night, Wells decided not to use it.
***
From: "Vernon Wells" <2blessed2bstressed@yahoo.com>
To: "Tony Reagins" <tony.reagins@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Oct 31 2011, at 5:42 PM
Subject: DecisionHey Tony, after giving it a lot of thought, and after talking it over with my family, we decided it would be best if I were to opt
From: "Vernon Wells" <2blessed2bstressed@yahoo.com>
To: "Tony Reagins" <tony.reagins@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Oct 31 2011, at 5:43 PM
Subject: RE: Decisionfor gyros tonight instead of Chinese takeout, because the Chinese place I usually go to just closed and the next nearest one was recently cited for labor law violations. Can you imagine!
***
From: V Wells xxx-218-2566
tony hey so i just wanted you to know that im going to exercise my right to
From: V Wells xxx-218-2566
bear arms, in these unpredictable times we live in theres no such thing as too much safety
***
@VernonWells10
Vernon Wells @TonyReagins Lots of thought!! Given the choice, I've decided now is a good time to become a free
FavoriteRetweet
@VernonWells10
Vernon Wells @TonyReagins mason, I'm going to petition the local lodge to get the ball rolling!!
FavoriteRetweet
***
Phone: /rings
Reagins: Hello?
Wells: Hey Tony, it's Vernon Wells.
Reagins: Hi Vernon
Wells: So listen, we just had a big family dinner.
Wells: And with the dinner finished, I thought now would be a good time to void
Wells:
Reagins:
Wells: my b-
Reagins: You know I'm not the GM anymore
Reagins: It's Jerry Dipoto
Reagins: God can you do anything right
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Brilliant
Illuminate My Heart, My Darling!
@medical_sword's #1 fan.
by Pikachu on Nov 1, 2011 2:44 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
That was dangerously funny
I almost choked!
by Woodman663 on Nov 1, 2011 4:42 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I'm waiting for MLB to step in.
I’m sure they’re going to ask you to clarify that these were not actual emails, text messages, tweets, and phone calls from Vernon Wells himself.
Oh, I don't know, he's a big enough yahoo
that he might.
by The Ancient Mariner on Nov 2, 2011 7:01 AM PDT up reply actions
I'm laughing to hide my tears
Jeff, you are hilarious.
So I have this rock in the back yard that does nothing but sit there so I named it Juan Rivera.
Excellent work
"Its like when i’m right…i’m right… and when i’m wrong…i could have been right..so i’m still right cause i could have been wrong"-Chevy Clarke's Twitter
bowels.
Now you know the terrible truth.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on Nov 2, 2011 1:12 AM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, I sure do need to read through the whole thread before responding.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on Nov 2, 2011 1:12 AM PDT up reply actions
You guys won't be laughing when Vernon has a 5.6 WAR season next year.
Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.
Sweet Clyde, laugh derisively at him.
Dave Krieg!
by Pebohead on Nov 1, 2011 9:33 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
Too bad those 5.6 wins are for the Angels' opponents
Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
by cdlewey on Nov 1, 2011 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Do people actually do this kind of shit?
Go back to high school, man. O’Doyle rules!
IGNORE ME
by tsunamijesus on Nov 1, 2011 10:41 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh Doyle. =(
by harkening on Nov 1, 2011 11:01 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
I still don't understand this reply
Is ‘oh doyle’ a thing? There’s no way I was in the wrong, that Angels fan just posted random, belligerent smack talk on a Mariners blog for no reason. Do any LL’ers ever go over to HH and drop some regressive garbage talk over there?
IGNORE ME
Doyle is the nickname a segment of Mariners' fans gave super cool Austrialian outfielder Chris Snelling.
Snelling’s middle name is Doyle, and the hope was that by calling him that instead fans could help him avoid the Baseball Gods who so loved to riddle him with injuries. It didn’t work, as unfortunately his career never got off the ground, which is a heartache for many to this day.
How come you can do all this other great shit, but you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?
If you do not spell Australian right in future.
I am going to go all Crocodile Dundee on your ass.
by Aussie Mariner on Nov 6, 2011 3:16 PM PST up reply actions
Snelling was apparently a dual Austrian/Australian citizen
by pdb on Nov 6, 2011 3:19 PM PST up reply actions
I'll have you know I am an expert at Knifey Spooney.
How come you can do all this other great shit, but you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?
by JAH on Nov 6, 2011 4:52 PM PST up reply actions
...you win this time.
How come you can do all this other great shit, but you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?
Yes we will, because he still won't come close to being worth that contract.
And yes we will because Mike Napoli just got done putting up a 5.6 WAR season.
by Goose on Nov 1, 2011 11:56 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
But that still would mean the Angels paid $44 Million over 2 years for 5.9 WAR.
The only logical reactions we have to this are laughter and pity (good luck finding the latter).
Heh
From: “Vernon Wells” <2blessed2bstressed@yahoo.com>
To: “Jerry Dipoto” <dipotoJ@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 1 2011, at 3:10 AM
Subject: Decision
Tony, I’ve been thinking about the future of myself and the organization. It’s been a great run, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it would be best if I left the An
From: “Vernon Wells” <2blessed2bstressed@yahoo.com>
To: “Jerry Dipoto” <dipotoJ@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 1 2011, at 3:11 AM
Subject: Decision
twep train station and make my way across the street to my luxury condo suite. Have you ever been to Belgium? It’s my 7th time here, but it never gets old. Stop by sometime, it’s beautiful here!
by hr on Nov 2, 2011 8:29 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I'm sorry, but as you know, imitation is the greatest form of flattery
Amd I felt such a delightful post only deserved the best [or, I guess worst, in this case].
by hr on Nov 2, 2011 9:54 AM PDT up reply actions
It's like fan fiction.
At best, a disgrace to the original, only satisfying to the author, and shouldn’t ever be posted in a public forum.
M's fan newly relocated to SF My homepage
I don't think you've read much fan fiction before.
I would give examples, but they are far beyond the appropriateness of this blog.
by hr on Nov 2, 2011 12:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Well, it's good that these kind of nuances are outlined in the community guidelines.
Otherwise, as a newbie, I would have had no idea extending a small joke was frowned upon, and I would have been lampooned by several unfriendly, condescending users.
I’m joking; I’ll pay more attention next time. I suppose this means that you guys aren’t big fans of memes, either.
by hr on Nov 2, 2011 12:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Memes around here are short-lived
In addition to being a community with pretty high standards, it’s also a very large community; memes show up and are beaten to death within minutes and never heard from again. Probably best to steer clear of them.
I was warned about the "high standards" issue ( as seen with the "talk like normal people rule")
But to be honest, I’m surprised that for such a large community, you all don’t create and embrace intra-blog memes. Most blogs and forums I’ve visited have multitudes of meaningless phrases generously spewed across boards and threads. You guys are a stark opposite. Kudos to the community for being able to pull that off.
by hr on Nov 2, 2011 1:20 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
We strive as much as possible to be as inward and navel gazey as we can be
but a lot of that is also down to the fact that we do have high standards; the whole “multitudes of meaningless phrases generously spewed across boards and threads” doesn’t really fly here because a lot of them are inane, sports-shout radio crap that most people here have little to no patience for.
by pdb on Nov 2, 2011 1:23 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Exactly my point
Although these standards can feel limiting at times, sometimes I wish the communities I visit (not only SBN but other websites) had a better system in place so I didn’t have to waste my time reading the same 10 or so words over and over, whichever thread I visit. Pardon if my analogy seems crude, but if 4chan is anarchy, you guys are fascists (in a good way, of course!).
by hr on Nov 2, 2011 1:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Intra-blog memes are pretty fine and loved around here.
It’s memes from the outside world that we loathe because oh all gods they are soo overdone and dead and not funny.
Memes led to one of the greatest threads in LL history.
Which was the photoshop-based Starting a Meme. However, we burned through that one pretty quickly and after it ran its course, no one tried to bring it back and we were all the better for it.
Memes have a rather small window of time from them being funny to a level that’s like hearing out of context one-liners from a TV show, interjected by every jackass you know.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on Nov 2, 2011 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions
I remember that thread
But I beg to differ on your definition of a meme. Memes are like wildfires; they have a raging, unexpected source, spread quickly all over the forest, and take a while to completely diadappear. Thie thread you’ve linked to is more representative of a fireplace. Photo shared with intentions of creatimg a meme, and it is controlled to occur solely inside the thread. I would only consider your example to be a forced meme, not a genuine organic ome. this further enhancesy statement above about my observations on LL, not that this is a bad thing.
by hr on Nov 2, 2011 1:33 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Oh man I had forgotten about that thread
Way too funny. There are a lot of clever people here in this community, I wish there was more threads like that to show off the cleverness of this community.
This is the Ewok movie to Jeff's Star Wars
by Bearskin Rugburn on Nov 2, 2011 8:54 AM PDT up reply actions 10 recs
Fuck you, Battle for Endor was awesome!
Oh God, I was so wrong.
How come you can do all this other great shit, but you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?
by JAH on Nov 2, 2011 9:34 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
I'm pretty sure he didn't.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Sorry, the joke flew over my head at first.
Ewok hate blinded me.
No matter where you go, there you are.
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