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Around SBN: Indy 500: 'Greatest Spectacle In Racing' Set For Sunday

6/3: Open Game Thread, Part 2

We are the best 21-31 baseball team ever.

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Hes a human wrecking ball

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul - Invictus

by EequalsMc2 on Jun 3, 2010 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Dave Simms

Standards!

You can't be a catcher if you can't catch. Rob Johnson will henceforth be listed as a traffic cone on the roster.

by Drew_D on Jun 3, 2010 8:39 PM PDT reply actions  

Oof

You’re right, apologies.

You can't be a catcher if you can't catch. Rob Johnson will henceforth be listed as a traffic cone on the roster.

by Drew_D on Jun 3, 2010 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

OT: Lakers up 10+

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul - Invictus

by EequalsMc2 on Jun 3, 2010 8:40 PM PDT reply actions  

Bahahahahahahahaha

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 8:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

OMG

I… I love it. OMG. I want to move to Seattle! :(

You can have Carl Pavano if we can have LOLCat night.
He’s got the porn stache…!

What’s that, you want Joe? Well… Maybe…

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

You could have...

The standard Twins trade package:
Tolbert, Casilla, Brian Buscher (or was he claimed off waivers? Hell if I know!), and Glen Perkins…

That and Mauer for Scruffy and LOLCat Night. I bet our shitty utility infielders can outhit your shitty utility infielders!

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

I've reconsidered

I think we would trade Joe for Scruffy, LOLCat night, and uhhh… Rob Johnson. We could eat him.

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yes!!!!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

Good fucking Jesus.

Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten? Fuck kittens.

by Matt Erickson on Jun 4, 2010 4:47 AM PDT up reply actions  

Felix

The sequence of pitches he threw to Mauer and Morneau almost identical

by ttotmax on Jun 3, 2010 8:44 PM PDT reply actions  

Awesomeness defined

You know what’s coming and you can’t stop it.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well at least Kotch made him work

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:47 PM PDT reply actions  

Those watching...

was that 4th pitch as terrible as it appeared on gameday? Gameday put it almost in the dirt.

by PLU Tim on Jun 3, 2010 8:49 PM PDT reply actions  

WILSON!

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:49 PM PDT reply actions  

The Paperboy:

COLLECTS SUBSCRIPTIONS!

Eyes?

by Jesus Jones on Jun 3, 2010 8:50 PM PDT reply actions  

Just got caught up on the last game thread.

Must…breathe…..

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Jun 3, 2010 8:50 PM PDT reply actions  

Well done Rob, your mom would be proud.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 8:50 PM PDT reply actions  

There you go, let it out.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 8:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

Rob doesn't know what this "clutch" thing is

Hence all these fucking passed balls.

Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten? Fuck kittens.

by Matt Erickson on Jun 4, 2010 4:48 AM PDT up reply actions  

Oh Rob

God you suck.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:50 PM PDT reply actions  

Honest question

Has there been a player that you’ve hated more than Rob Johnson?

Ayala? Mesa?

FUCK THE MARINERS!

by Fuckmikereilly on Jun 3, 2010 8:51 PM PDT reply actions  

On my own team?

Hard to think of one.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

A-Rod.

But only after he left.

While he was on the team: Ayala probably wins.

by Rachmaninoff on Jun 3, 2010 8:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

Ayala did well for a while though.

People always just choose to ignore this due to 1998.

FUCK THE MARINERS!

by Fuckmikereilly on Jun 3, 2010 8:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

That may be true.

Doesn’t change the fact that he was the first player I ever hated. One of his implosions is still the only game I have ever left early where someone I was with wasn’t sick.

by drblacknwhite on Jun 3, 2010 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

To each their own.

I think it’s mainly just because he was the first, and I was probably young and stupid for hating him as much as I did.

by drblacknwhite on Jun 3, 2010 8:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

Eh, I understand the hate.

He had an ERA above 7. I mostly blame Piniella for continuing to trot someone with that high of an ERA out there.

FUCK THE MARINERS!

by Fuckmikereilly on Jun 3, 2010 9:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

Ayala. Mesa is a very, very close second.

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Jun 3, 2010 8:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

Giovanni Carrara

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on Jun 3, 2010 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

Speaking as a Twins fan

God am I glad we didn’t resign him. Thank heaven for Bill Bavasi. Or whoever your old GM was.

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

To be fair

Prior to going to Seattle, with an excellent infield defense behind him, Silva was merely bad.

He turned on the afterburners of suck after he got to you fellas. :)

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:21 PM PDT up reply actions  

I thought really digging for your face.

But I’m kind of enjoying the simplicity of the 4 face method. Though I believe its time for another jeff in pictures thread.

by Scruffy Lefty on Jun 3, 2010 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

Now your just being a rec whore.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 8:52 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Fuck

I totally forgot it was Cheezeburger night… Scruffy, I love you

Rooting for lovable losers since 1984.

by seattlecougar on Jun 3, 2010 8:51 PM PDT reply actions  

Meh first inning.

Businesslike since then.

Eyes?

by Jesus Jones on Jun 3, 2010 8:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

Slow start

But once he got through that he has been totally locked in.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

Wait

Denard Span and Delmon Young aren’t the same person?

by Slow Country on Jun 3, 2010 8:57 PM PDT reply actions  

OT, Lakers walk away with a boring easy win in game 1

102-89.

Fuck.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:57 PM PDT reply actions  

It was horrible

Because you had two teams that games are fixed for, lots of fouls.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

No Gasol kicked ass

KG played like total shit as well.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

SAUNDERS!

MY OH MY!

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:57 PM PDT reply actions  

SAUNDERS!

The Holocaust was Rob Johnson's idea

by I Lick Squirrels on Jun 3, 2010 8:57 PM PDT reply actions  

Roof closing

Yeah we might need more runs.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 8:59 PM PDT reply actions  

or were that good

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul - Invictus

by EequalsMc2 on Jun 3, 2010 9:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

Isn't this implied by "slumping"?

Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten? Fuck kittens.

by Matt Erickson on Jun 4, 2010 4:54 AM PDT up reply actions  

Dave, you really dont' need to mention 3 times an inning

That Valenica is making his MLB debut…

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:08 PM PDT reply actions  

Magnificent.

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Jun 3, 2010 9:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

Bahahaha, Kobe is such a cool cat.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 9:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

UW softball team tied 3-3 vs. Georgia

Bottom 5 of their opening game at the College Softball World Series.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:11 PM PDT reply actions  

I bet their families do.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 9:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

Carry on then.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 9:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Just flipped over to ESPN and saw the score during a TV timeout

I could care less either.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

You COULD NOT care less

If you could care less, that means you care more than “not at all”

Sorry, pet peeve of mine, but I always notice it.

by Karma Police on Jun 3, 2010 9:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oh fuck you ROb

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:14 PM PDT reply actions  

What a retard.

The Holocaust was Rob Johnson's idea

by I Lick Squirrels on Jun 3, 2010 9:14 PM PDT reply actions  

OUR CATCHER IS BETTER THAN YOUR CATCHER.

It’s almost not fair to make fun of Rob, is it?

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:14 PM PDT reply actions  

I want Rob Johnson to die and be a cheap funeral

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Jun 3, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

4K INNING!

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

FELIX YOU SEXY FUCKING BEAST

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Jun 3, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

Our catcher is better than your catcher!

Speaking as a Twins fan, Rob Johnson and his passed balls give me hope.

Felix makes me cry.

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

4 K'S WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The Holocaust was Rob Johnson's idea

by I Lick Squirrels on Jun 3, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

ROB SHOULD'VE DROPPED THAT

SO HE COULD GET 5

Yes, we have a coupon.

by Crystal for DH on Jun 3, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

Hell fucking Yes!!!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

by the other side on Jun 3, 2010 9:17 PM PDT reply actions  

See Rob had a secert plan all along

No I don’t believe that either

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:17 PM PDT reply actions  

I see Nasty Felix has finally returned.

This is what we were looking for from Lee/Felix.

FUCK THE MARINERS!

by Fuckmikereilly on Jun 3, 2010 9:17 PM PDT reply actions  

Felix has...

the 4th best ERA of our starters.

This is like 1997…only backwards.

by PLU Tim on Jun 3, 2010 9:17 PM PDT reply actions  

28 out perfect games, 4K innings...

But I ain’t never seen an elephant fly…

Eyes?

by Jesus Jones on Jun 3, 2010 9:17 PM PDT reply actions  

He's not allowed to retire

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

Seriously, the only way for him to go is during a ballgame

Like the Ms win the World Series and BOOM, instant massive stroke.

Quick, painless, dies happy.

Jesus, that sounds kinda sadistic actually.

by Karma Police on Jun 3, 2010 9:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

Damn

come on I was completely kidding. i love dave

by Karma Police on Jun 3, 2010 9:21 PM PDT up reply actions  

At least it was a polite command.

Contemplating someone’s death: not the sincerest form of flattery.

by yuniform on Jun 3, 2010 9:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah you have a point

I apologize if I was out of line.

by Karma Police on Jun 3, 2010 9:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

It's fairly easy to edit.

It just means that someone’s immediate thought after he struck out 4 was “okay, let’s Wikipedia this shit”

FUCK THE MARINERS!

by Fuckmikereilly on Jun 3, 2010 9:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

In other news

One of the 22 AL pitchers to strike out 4 in an inning was apparently Scott Baker.

I mean, WTF? For those of you who don’t follow the Twins obsessively, he’s one of our teams copious “Nearly no strike outs, but no idea what a walk even is” pitchers. How the FUCK did he do that?

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

7ish K/9.

He isn’t Nick Blackburn. He’s good.

by abender20 on Jun 3, 2010 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

Last M with 4 Ks

Was Kazu?

Awesome.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:21 PM PDT reply actions  

Seattle's starting pitchers are good

Minus Ian Smell of course. Also, I want to build a time machine and bring back Sasaki. sigh

by level on Jun 3, 2010 9:26 PM PDT reply actions  

4/5 aint bad.

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Jun 3, 2010 9:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

That who you'd get with a time machine?

I’d really like the team to get Three Finger Brown. He’d be fun to watch, I’d imagine.

by yuniform on Jun 3, 2010 9:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

Time to close the case DA!

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:28 PM PDT reply actions  

UW did invent that stupid thing.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

I've always heard it was first down at Husky Stadium

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

Wikipedia says:

it’s origin is contested.
I like how some people apparently call it the Mexican Wave.

by yuniform on Jun 3, 2010 9:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

Most screwed up thing I've ever seen involving the Wave

I went up to the Olympics in Vancouver this year and the PA guys encouraged fans to do the wave…

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

DP!

MARINERS WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT reply actions  

WIN!!!

YAY!!!!!

The Holocaust was Rob Johnson's idea

by I Lick Squirrels on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT reply actions  

Wilson!

Fucking awesome series! 6 GB!

My Mariners blog SodoMojo, My Twitter Feed

by Griffin Cooper on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT reply actions  

I CAN HAZ SERIES WIN!!

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT reply actions  

BOOK IT, BITCHES!

2 lolcat nights, 2 wins! EVERY NIGHT IS SCRUFFY NIGHT

by James F'n X on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT reply actions  

What a way to end it.

Sorry Jack, you’re no longer needed here.

by Brian Floyd on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT reply actions  

Josh Wilson! Not terrible!

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT reply actions  

DOUBLE PLAY!!!

FELIX FINALLY GETS THE WIN HE DESERVES

Yes, we have a coupon.

by Crystal for DH on Jun 3, 2010 9:32 PM PDT reply actions  

Venezuelan.

I am told other Spanish speakers claim they can’t understand Venzuelans.

by msb on Jun 3, 2010 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yup.

I can attest that Colombians have trouble with Venezuelan Spanish.

by Rachmaninoff on Jun 3, 2010 9:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

I salute you Scruffy.

You are a God among SBN posters.

by BrianL on Jun 3, 2010 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sans the spider gif, you performed admirably.

We’re lucky to have you.

You! Cake or death?

by Torrid on Jun 3, 2010 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

Clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul - Invictus

by EequalsMc2 on Jun 3, 2010 9:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

*sighs*

Thanks for a series full of an ungodly amount of hilarity, Mariners fans!
I’ll miss Lookout Landing. I won’t miss your goddamn time zone, though!

See you, um…. Do we have any more games this year? God I hope they aren’t out West.

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:37 PM PDT reply actions  

I hate you all so much right now.

As do whichever parts of me suffer from all the coffee I’ve been having at work.

Except, wait, I don’t hate Scruffy. He’s a demigod.

And if you get a chance, Target Field is gorgeous. You should come visit us! And you could come to Twinkie Town if you can’t get all the way to Target Field.

by Patrick42 on Jun 3, 2010 9:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

Diesel dykes need that haircut

but some belly adds to the allure. Some facial hair on the domme.

ignacio

by ignacio on Jun 3, 2010 9:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

How the shit are we only 6 games back?

This division is terribad.

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Jun 3, 2010 9:45 PM PDT reply actions  

I am so sorry I missed all of this. AWESOME!!

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on Jun 4, 2010 1:51 AM PDT reply actions  

This was a game thread for the ages.

It has enriched my work day.

Milton Bradley apologist

by sanford_and_son on Jun 4, 2010 12:35 PM PDT reply actions  

Final Scuffy rec count:

717

My hat is off to you.
Greatest game thread I have ever come across.

by hobbit_86 on Jun 5, 2010 4:29 PM PDT reply actions  

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