Rob Johnson, Professional Catcher

Watching this loop is making my blood pressure rise.

Are the only three people available to catch the newborn babies that have to be thrown down from the 4th floor of a burning hospital.

Rob: “Come on guys, catching is our profession, we are the most qualified.”

there were no survivors.

It’s driving me bonkers that we seriously can’t just send him away for good already.

He is as good as he is bad and that makes him hilariously entertaining to watch.

so many things had to go right and almost nothing could go wrong in order for us to use the one season of CLIFF FUCKING LEE that we were given. No one could have anticipated that Sweeney would come north with the club, Figgins, Bradley, Brynes, Kotchman, Lopez, Wilson, etc, weren’t going to play to their potential. No one could have anticipated that CLIFF wasn’t going to be available for the opening homestand. Rob Johnson, was an easy scapegoat from day one. He’s the absolutely perfect scapegoat – he’s a catcher who can’t catch and he was going to be our starting catcher. He is the epitome of our 2010 Seattle Mariners.

He sees all of the wild pitches/passed balls from Felix et al and it must be messing with his head

- A guy on a bus sneezes all over him and he couldn’t catch a cold?
- A man dressed as a bandit walks past him on the street and he couldn’t catch a thief?
- A woman in a bar throws up on his shoes and he couldn’t catch a clue?
I’m reaching here.

As a professional baseball catcher, you are obviously supposed to catch the ball, but what else, in life, are you “supposed” to catch?

Rob is seated at the head of the table table.
RJ: “Hey Cliff, pass me the carving knife please.”
Cliff Lee to RJ’s left hands him a carving knife. Rob tries to grab the knife, but flings it into the air and it lands, point straight down in the table.
Neihaus (previously off screen, now shown standing near the table with headset and microphone): “To be fair, that cutter had some late break on it.”

Scene change to RJ and Felix are having a picnic in a park. Both are sitting on a blanket.
RJ:“Hey Felix, how about some food?”
Felix reaches into a cooler and throws a plastic wrapped sandwich to RJ using a pitching like motion.
RJ tries to catch it with one hand but misses. Before it hits the ground, Guti grabs it with a diving catch.
Neihaus (again, standing nearby):“Looks like he was expecting a slider there.”

Scene change to RJ and Bedard fishing on a lake.
RJ:“How are you doing so far?”
Bedard holds up a string of fish.
Bedard:“Not too bad. You catch anything?”
Cut to a beaming Rob. He holds up a baseball attached to a fishing line. He goes to grab it and the baseball falls off and disappears into the water.
Neihaus (standing nearby in waders):“Rob let that sinker get away from him.”

Mariners baseball.

Gif = funny
Random fucking things that Rob drops in life = not funny

It was bad last year, but this bad? Or is it that we’ve caught on and now that it’s a joke every time he misses the ball we notice?

so I will not be posting further in this one.