On Fanhood
My dad took me to my first baseball game at Angel Stadium in 1990 (give or take a year). I'd have been around six years old at the time. He'd signed me up for the Halos Kids Club, so we got cheap tickets in the upper deck, along with a magazine, a t-shirt and some trading cards. I had the best time, even though I most likely didn't understand everything that was going on. Over the next year or so we attended a few games. I remember watching Wally Joyner, Chuck Finley, Dave Winfield, Gary Gaetti, Luis Polonia, Gary DiSarcina and others.
But my favorite player had to be Jim Abbott. The fact that he was able to make it to the majors, while genuinely impressive, seemed near-magical to me at that age. I remember reading about his life, how he'd throw a ball against the wall of his house to practice pitching and fielding quickly. I learned that he and I share the same birthday. Jim Abbott was the coolest guy ever. And I got the chance to see him pitch in a game. He caught a comebacker. Not a bouncing grounder, or a bloop, but a screaming liner that he was somehow able to catch shortly after pitching the ball and getting the glove onto his hand. I'm still not sure if I've ever seen something more incredible at a baseball game.
I didn't go to that many games, or watch on TV. I mostly followed the sport by collecting baseball cards. In the attic of my parents house are boxes filled with near-worthless cards. I've got a binder with the best players sorted out page by page: Nolan Ryan, Barry Bonds, Bobby Bonilla, Ryne Sandberg, Will Clark, Kirby Puckett, Jose Canseco, Roger Clemens, Darryl Strawberry (!) and on and on and on...
But then the 1994 baseball strike happened, and I just lost interest and drifted away from the sport. So I missed 1995. And 2001. In fact, I didn't pay any attention until I'd learned that the Angels were going to the World Series. I watched the series and rooted for the Angels, but it's not really ingrained in my memory because I had so little investment at that point.
But it reignited my love for the game. I started following baseball more and more, and I was pretty much a die-hard fan by the 2004 season. Shortly after that, I read a book called Moneyball and starting educating myself about sabermetrics. My brother and I would go to games as often as we could, many times driving to Anaheim and back to San Diego the same night. I came to loathe Frankie Rodriguez, because even though he'd get the job done, he'd have to give me minor heart trauma first.
I moved to Seattle in February 2007. And while I was an Angels fan, I was also a baseball fan and went to see baseball at Safeco as often as I could. I was somehow introduced to Lookout Landing, and was delighted to find a community full of hilarious, like-minded individuals. And that's where the trouble started. I was not only going to games, watching on TV and listening on the radio, but I was able to laugh/cheer/compain/lament with others who were smart and funny. I began to like individual Mariners. This was easy enough to excuse. Ichiro is amazing. Who doesn't like Felix? Branyan's sex blasts will make anyone tingle a bit. But this was a bit of a cover. Because I was also beginning to like the team. I should have cheered the Bedard trade because it would help the Angels' chances. But all I could think about was how stupid it was. I ran into Bavasi at my local market during the trade rumors and resisted the urge to ask the cashier to page Adam Jones to the front of the store. Jose Vidro drove me insane. He's batting cleanup again?? GOD. But I was able to keep up this doublethink for a while by allowing myself to enjoy both teams, as long as I rooted for the Angels over the Mariners.
Each passing winter without baseball seems longer and longer as I descend further into this madness that is fandom. And yet, when the spring finally arrived this year, I could barely bring myself to care about the Angels. I've watched all of a half hour of Angels baseball this season. When I hear that they get thrashed, or that one of my favorite players hit a homerun, they both get a similarly disinterested reaction. And even though I could easily watch their games on MLBtv, I instead spend time hunting for a working proxy so I can watch the Mariners lose to the As. And this is all thanks to you, Lookout Landing.
I've been spoiled. It's not enough for me to simply watch baseball anymore. I now watch not just for the sport itself, but so I can participate in a community that knows the following: the status of their Japanese catcher's back, who Levale Speigner is, and that there is no floor.
I realize that this seems rather opportunistic; that I'm switching allegiances just as the Angels begin their long, slow slide into mediocrity. And that there are those that believe that fanhood is for life, that you can't just pick a new team. And I don't have an answer to that. I think that's part of the reason why I didn't make this fanpost sooner. I didn't want to seem like I'm giving up, like I'm making the easy choice. It's not that I think things would be better if I liked the Mariners; the simple fact is that I do.
And so, I hope that you'll accept me as a Mariner fan. Seattle is my home now. I've come to know many of you well online and off, and am glad to be able to call some friends. I know I haven't suffered through the recent years like many of you have (though Yuni, Bavasi, Rally Fries [WHY DID THEY BRING THOSE BACK?!] and Silva aggravated me plenty). And I may never be able to convince some that my fanhood is legitimate or deserved. But I'll be standing by you all, rooting for the Ms all the same.
Go Mariners!
...
Eyebrows
mariners fan in seattle
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TLDR
LLLJ, Go Mariners.
mariners fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on May 6, 2010 8:50 PM PDT reply actions 14 recs
Based on the past few games
seems more like you’re jumping onto a sinking ship
And to be fair
It’s more like I’m jumping from one sinking ship to the other.
mariners fan in seattle
And the new sinking ship has a boating-related nickname
Irony! Or something.
It's just such a perfect metaphor right now...
And hey.. Welcome to the other side Eyebrows!!
by seattlesundevil on May 7, 2010 8:20 AM PDT up reply actions
.
I realize that this seems rather opportunistic
Given how the Ms have started out this year, I don’t think you’ll have any problems with detractors calling you out on that.
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
I guess it's better that I didn't make this post just before the season started, when the Ms were the favorites.
mariners fan in seattle
Grats! You just bought stock in White Star Line of oceanic steam ships!
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
by JAH on May 6, 2010 9:56 PM PDT up reply actions
The timing of this proves you were always meant for the Ms
glad you’ve come around.
De Gutibus non disputandum est
by Bearskin Rugburn on May 6, 2010 9:58 PM PDT reply actions
Well, DUUUUUuuuuh!
(We always knew you had a little bit of Willie Bloomquist in you. Just like the rest of us.)
Wait. How do we know this guy isn’t a double-agent like Chone Figgins?
Does the World Series trophy come with a plate of bacon?
by PositivePaul on May 6, 2010 10:09 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
And Eyebrows
as someone who went through a similar move (albeit in reverse), I understand what it’s like to be living somewhere where everyone else is rooting for a different team than you.
Lookout Landing has been a huge influence in bringing me back to the Mariners after college without too much baseball thought. I’ve loved the game for a long time, but ironically, playing the game in high school made me like the game significantly less. I’ve loved having this community to force me to be a smarter fan, to understand how the game works, and to reinforce the notion that you should always have to back up your opinions with evidence. When I started getting back into baseball, there was no reason I couldn’t have become a fan of say, Atlanta or San Diego. By then I had long since stopped thinking of Seattle as my home and felt almost like a free agent. but reading and interacting here reminded me just how much I loved the Mariners and why I could never stop rooting for them.
Fanhood isn’t really something that you should be forced into. Fanhood is a choice – you choose your pro team and your college choice dictates your college team.
Now that you’ve chosen us though, I’m afraid you’re stuck with us, my friend. Welcome aboard.
by seattlebruin on May 6, 2010 10:23 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Even after that miserable catastrofuck of a game
this makes me smile. I’m glad I found it when I did.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 6, 2010 10:28 PM PDT reply actions 5 recs
I don't normally explain my recs, but...
… I have to give it up for catastrofuck.
Because we’re rebels. Accurate, intelligent, introspective rebels. And damn proud of it my friend. - CapSea
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997
Bless you Jon Stewart.
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
by JAH on May 7, 2010 1:14 AM PDT up reply actions
I used it first >=(.
And it’s spelled “Catastrophuck.”
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on May 7, 2010 6:40 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Here take this pity rec
My Mariners blog SodoMojo, My Twitter Feed
by Griffin Cooper on May 8, 2010 1:21 AM PDT up reply actions
You're one of my three favorites.
...and now I'm here
My thoughts exactly.
Go M’s and go Eyebrows! Welcome to the family (even though you were already a part).
I guess it's official, then
There are no cool Angels fans left.
My Mariners blog SodoMojo, My Twitter Feed
by Griffin Cooper on May 6, 2010 10:39 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
TheOptimist is pretty cool, though I haven't seen him around lately.
And 44Fan is good too, from what I remember.
mariners fan in seattle
Welcome aboard you giant white moron
by Jeff Sullivan on May 6, 2010 10:42 PM PDT reply actions 7 recs
No rec from Jeff is complete without a personal attack
by Fett42 on May 7, 2010 12:58 PM PDT up reply actions 7 recs
Shut the fuck up you three inch doodle
by Jeff Sullivan on May 7, 2010 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions 10 recs
That's only a two-inch doodle.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 7, 2010 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions
Perfect Timing.
I’m glad I came across this fanpost. I was in the middle of quitting the team temporarily. In fact, I told my girlfriend I was several days ago before the streak became the holocaust.
Thanks. I am now renewed in my fanaticism.
Can someone please explain the vitriol over Rally Fries?
Also, welcome to the club. I’d post something like this, but my story isn’t that cool.
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
That was so ridiculously informative; I'm glad I come to Lookout Landing for quality insight.
Is it the whole giving them out to random fans bit, or is it the taste, or the principle of the matter, or Mike Blowers, or what?
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
by thehemogoblin on May 6, 2010 11:25 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
It was something that was kinda okay the first time, and then ran into the ground.
It became like the wave – an annoying distraction from the game that people are SUPPOSEDLY there for, yet so many common fans seem to enjoy.
When tons of people bring signs to a game to humiliate themselves for a chance to get on TEEVEE and get $20 in fries, that’s when you know it’s a terrible, terrible thing.
mariners fan in seattle
See also: Hydro Races, Hat Trick (and to a lesser extent, Dancing Groundskeepers)
Though those aren’t televised, at least.
mariners fan in seattle
Those are just between inning distractions, though.
They don’t actually cut into the game. I’d argue that the Hydros and Hat Trick are part of the ball park tradition.
But yes, the rally fries stuff is distracting and embarrassing to watch.
I'd be fine with them if they didn't often get the biggest cheers of the game.
mariners fan in seattle
I have refused to watch the stupid animated hydro races since Safeco first opened
Just watch the crowd while they’re “racing”. They are more rapt and then cheer louder than during the game! Bunch of fucking sheep.
by lemonverbena on May 7, 2010 7:49 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I don't know about sheep, exactly
They just seem to all be really casual fans. I wouldn’t classify them as cheering because everyone else is doing it, I would say they all cheer because it represents a change of pace and is quick, simple, and very results based instead of progress oriented. It’s hard to get into a 3 hour game with plenty of time where guys are just standing around 80% of the time.
At the 4/30 Cliff Lee game...
…an annoying fuckass drunk fan was trying to get everyone on the 300 level to do the wave during the 9th inning of a 0-0 tie.
The worst part was, he kinda succeeded. I wanted to scream.
I like the Hat Trick
because it’s a test of visual acuity. Hydro Races and the dancing groundskeepers can go to hell though.
Mariners/D Broncos/BSU Broncos fan in Seattle
The first rule of Lookout Landing is...
More than just visual acuity!
It involves pursuits and saccades too!
You are a more patient Mariners fan than me
by Jeff Sullivan on May 6, 2010 11:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Gotcha.
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
by thehemogoblin on May 6, 2010 11:41 PM PDT up reply actions
FUCK. THIS. SHIT.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rally_fries
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 8, 2010 12:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Company is always welcome on a ship of questionable seaworthiness.
It’s refreshing to hear stories of fanhood pushed by the community of fans.
"The holy grail is to spend less time making the picture than it takes people to look at it." -Banksy
Man you sure are a fucking retard
by Aaron Campeau on May 6, 2010 11:38 PM PDT reply actions 10 recs
Fool! You're not supposed to jump on the ship! You're supposed to abandon ship!
But seriously Eyebrows, we’ve always considered you one of us.
You're dead to me.
Welcome to the 'hood!
It feels nice to be out of the closet, huh?
by seattle_since_81 on May 6, 2010 11:56 PM PDT reply actions
These stories always make me feel better about our team and my fanhood.
Glad you finally joined the right side.
Comprehensive list of things that are less surprising:
...and now I'm here
Also, this is awesome and even though I've never met you, I want to give you a hug.
...and now I'm here
We're going to scissor?
mariners fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on May 7, 2010 7:08 AM PDT up reply actions 6 recs
Congratulations.
Welcome to Hell.
Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.
by the other side on May 7, 2010 3:11 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Late to the party and obviously I can't appreciate your journey into Mariners fandom like the oldtimers here,
but welcome home.
You! Cake or death?
Good thing Josh Wilson and his fabulous eyebrows were recalled from AAA.

by Jed MC on May 7, 2010 7:12 AM PDT reply actions 5 recs
You see,
now I’m going to be spending the better part of my afternoon looking through our minor league rosters and seeing if anyone else has exceptional eyebrows. Even though I’m fine with the current icon.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 7, 2010 7:55 AM PDT up reply actions
Jesus Christ.
Well, that doesn’t totally fit, because he doesn’t have eyebrows. He just has a big fucking feather boa stretched across his forehead.
by Matt Erickson on May 7, 2010 8:42 AM PDT up reply actions
Brett Myers has some competition.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 7, 2010 8:53 AM PDT up reply actions
I feel all warm and fuzzy inside
knowing that some other idiot just threw his life away.
hugs.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on May 7, 2010 7:43 AM PDT reply actions
First beer now Mariners.
Fucking hell dude think for yourself.
by Sec 108 on May 7, 2010 8:42 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Awesome!
Just in time for us to hopefully crush the Angels (if we want to have any chance of getting back in this thing).
You’re a fan if the team causes you pain and joy, regardless of whether or not anyone else accepts it.
Welcome. But I knew you were really with us.
Fuck the Angels
So has anyone given you the key yet?
Or taught you the handshake?
Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!
by msb on May 7, 2010 10:33 AM PDT up reply actions 10 recs
If they don't start winning
this could be the theme song for the order of the wristcutters as well
by cmccrack206 on May 11, 2010 12:18 AM PDT up reply actions
Jim Abbott was pretty ballin'.
Glad you could join us. Now let’s fuck up the Angels tonight!
Charter Member: Dave Sims Sweet Hat Club
by Two Rs and Two Ls on May 7, 2010 10:41 AM PDT reply actions
So you've been getting a lot of recs lately?
by Fett42 on May 7, 2010 12:58 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
You should try one of these new Jack in the Box sandwiches, makes everything better.
Southwest Chipotle sauce, boca burger patty, soy flour bun, organic lettuce and tomato. Yuuummmeeee
by Kermit. on May 7, 2010 1:11 PM PDT up reply actions 6 recs
I disagree
I like to see more recs and fewer comments of questionably worthiness. Personally I’ve been trying to comment less and rec more when I see something I agree with or find funny. If the average fanpost has a half-dozen green comments, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s easier to find the funny/good comments when you’re behind on reading too.
Mariners/D Broncos/BSU Broncos fan in Seattle
The first rule of Lookout Landing is...
by appleshampoo on May 7, 2010 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions 12 recs
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Mariners/D Broncos/BSU Broncos fan in Seattle
The first rule of Lookout Landing is...
One of us?
One of us.
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
by tootthekazoo on May 7, 2010 1:50 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
To prove that you are one of us you must strike down one of your former brethren
by Robert on May 7, 2010 2:04 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.
- Angels fan. A real one.
Play Wood already. Willits sucks.
by hauldog on May 7, 2010 2:11 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I was waiting for this.
Mariners/D Broncos/BSU Broncos fan in Seattle
The first rule of Lookout Landing is...
The fanpost over at HH was fun to read.
Had some interesting viewpoints on what it means to be a real fan. Then I saw Rev Halofan spelled Angels wrong and couldn’t stop laughing.
by MT Olson on May 7, 2010 2:40 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
That was head trip right back to high school.
Who’s sitting with what group at lunch type of vibe. Yuck.
I like that they're calling Eyebrows a fairweather fan
as he’s declaring fandom of a team that’s currently last in its division.
Because that’s really the best part.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 7, 2010 2:53 PM PDT up reply actions
Looks like another Angels' 3B that hacks too much is going to flail around for a a while.
Brandon Wood = Dallas McPherson redux? I remember the good ole days when I thought he would complete the fearsome AL West Third Basemen Tetrarch of Doom. Chavez/Blalock/Beltre/McPherson. Funny enough since Beltre signed in 05 the other three went down the bucket.
You got slurved!
But how will you eat now that the one member of your fanbase who knew how to function the door has left?
by OlSalty on May 7, 2010 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions 18 recs
I can't imagine why Eyebrows would no longer want to associate himself with Angels fans.
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on May 7, 2010 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
When has a door ever hit somebody's ass as they're leaving?
by Jeff Sullivan on May 7, 2010 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions 7 recs
We had a swinging door that (if you flipped it just right) might hit you in the ass when leaving the kitchen...
by msb on May 7, 2010 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Or if there's a revolving door and someone's pushing behind you and you don't get out fast enough.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 7, 2010 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Seems like a strange thing to say then
It’s like “don’t accidentally flip into beans into your eye.” It could happen, if you eat wrong. But I’d never really consider it a concern.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 7, 2010 3:27 PM PDT up reply actions 7 recs
Pinto
I am in some kind of commenting funk. I’m commenting like the Angels are playing.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 7, 2010 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions
I think if someone makes a decision I disagree with,
I’m entitled to tell them they’re making a bad decision, by pointing out inherent, if unlikely, risks associated with their decision.
Like if I’m eating ice cream and I offer some to my friend, and she says, “I’m gonna eat this can of beans instead,” I’d probably say, “Whatever, don’t accidentally flip pinto beans into your eye.”
Depends on if the door you are leaving from is a "Push" or "Pull."
If it is a “Push” it can’t hit you in the ass unless you are walking out backward.
...and now I'm here
Are we talking normal sized arse, or Griffey sized arse?
Eyebrows probably has an entire metric of arses based off Griffey’s, he likes that exacting type of measurement.
Doggie door?
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 7, 2010 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions
I think it is a reference to old western saloon doors Jeff.
People who use colloquial expressions of this nature are also prone to comparing dependability to the Postal Service. Or they might also refer to the hitching post and feed store from time to time. On the plus side they are not as crude in speech. You might say whore but they would say woman of ill repute.
Scarlet woman!
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
by JAH on May 8, 2010 4:54 PM PDT up reply actions
What kind of shitty doors do you have in your house?
by Jeff Sullivan on May 7, 2010 4:06 PM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
People in shitty mobile housing units shouldn't throw stones
by Jeff Sullivan on May 7, 2010 5:13 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
... lest someone come up and knock their house over.
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
by thehemogoblin on May 7, 2010 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I was once a Lakers fan.
But then I moved to Spokane, and became a Sonics fan. Wouldn’t you know, they up and move to OKC, now i’m a Trail Blazers fan. In case this is lost upon anyone, i’m being sarcastic. I could move to Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia, and I wouldn’t stop being a fan of the Halos. But hey, when in Seattle, why not sip the latte?
YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....
You are such an awesome, devoted fan!
I feel ashamed for not acknowledging your loyalty before. I apologize.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 10, 2010 12:17 AM PDT up reply actions
No need to apologize Jeff.
I’m sure if you moved to Boston, you wouldn’t become a fan of the sux, right? Because, after all, you’re not a fair weather. Or geographically motivated to root for the nearest team. Right?
YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....
People are fans in different ways.
How is that not okay?
by Jeff Sullivan on May 10, 2010 7:47 AM PDT up reply actions
There is only one way to be a true fan.
If there wasn’t, it wouldn’t be true. C’mon Jeff.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 10, 2010 7:59 AM PDT up reply actions
I was going to respond with whatever would be Anaheim's equivalent of a latte joke would be
but then I realized that Anaheim isn’t interesting or culturally relevant enough to be the target of even the most generic, tired and unfunny jokes. So congratulations for rooting for a team that represents America’s enema receptacle.
by Aaron Campeau on May 10, 2010 12:48 AM PDT up reply actions 22 recs
The thing that always amazed me about Jim Abbott
Wasn’t that he was a cool story that beat the odds to become a one handed baseball player, but that he was a 1st round, top 10 pick. I think it’s so cool that he wasn’t just a novelty but was a legitimate pitching prospect from day 1. And he also has two major league hits which is just ridiculous
Stats are not a euphemism for tits
Did you change your signature before this post?
That signature would be banal coming from almost anyone else here.
"The holy grail is to spend less time making the picture than it takes people to look at it." -Banksy
HAHAHAHA YOU'RE STUCK WITH US
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
Two things:
Wow, this got a crazy reaction, didn’t it? Thanks for having my back, guys. I should work less and be on LL more.
I sure picked a good time to switch, huh? What a game tonight.
mariners fan in seattle
Results aside, we're still glad you're here.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 7, 2010 9:30 PM PDT up reply actions
It was eight nothing!
Beer and pizza sounded better. Oh well, guess I’m just a fair-weather fan.
mariners fan in seattle
x
You poor, poor bastard.
Mariners/D Broncos/BSU Broncos fan in Seattle
The first rule of Lookout Landing is...
by appleshampoo on May 7, 2010 11:21 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
This is about as cool as when Chuck Richter
Refused to wear his Halo hat in Safeco.
It's Always Somethin'
Dear Stupid Angels Fans,
No one gives a shit what you think. If you are smart and have something intelligent to say, some sort of worthwhile criticism (and such criticism has to exist!) then you are welcome to post. (This could be a really interesting conversation on the nature of fandom! I was hoping for such a thing!) Otherwise, we don’t give a shit. Go back to Halos Heaven and continue being awful.
Thanks,
A Dude Using the Royal We
by Aaron Campeau on May 8, 2010 2:52 AM PDT up reply actions 16 recs
What Angels fans need to realize is that he left them more because of how crappy their blogs and fans are than the team.
by Sec 108 on May 8, 2010 8:38 AM PDT up reply actions 10 recs
Angels Fans
They’re right up there with White Sox fans as the biggest d-bags in the country.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
by TheLoneDavid on May 8, 2010 11:30 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Uhm, seeing as I am a "Havahd Sahx" fan.
I believe I have to take offense to this.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
As long as you're not one of the "post-2004" fans, I think you're OK
The Red Sox had some trainwrecks before 2003, and with the whole Roger Clemens thing (“oh look I got a second wind! Yankees? sure why not!”) I have no problem with Sox fans that have had to put up with all that.
The ones I hate are the goddamn bandwagoners that show up to every stadium in their stupid pink hats and pretend the sox are the “heroes” of MLB or something.
Yes exactly.
I put up with a girlfriend who lived up there for that exact time frame, and had to brave Fenway park at least once a year from 2005-2008. Most of the fans had not one clue who any of their own team was, let alone the other team, and proceded to get hammered, piss in the seats, throw up, all while wearing 5 polos with the collars popped. Without a doubt, worst baseball game experience ever.
Come to Chicago, I'll take you to "The Cell"
We can top that experience, no question.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
If you're one that sucks, you know who you are.
But the mere fact you know that Seattle Mariners exist, I think you’re in the clear.
Ooh, whiny uninformed quasi-Mariner fan on the Clayton show
“Have you seen what Carlos Silva is doing in Chicago?!”
I'm proud of you!
It certainly looks to me like you’ve got a buncha people here to just love the heck out of ya. But seriously, welcome. Glad you’re finally being honest with yourself!!
Good for you kid.
As a Boston fan living in Chicago I wish I had a decent team and fanbase to be around sometimes. But Chicago kinda sucks, it’s better to be an alienated Boston fan in the Midwest than a fan of either Chicago team.
This is my first post here I think, but I’ve been lurking a bit after the Milton Bradley trade, and you guys are awesome.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
I fear we may be cooler than a lot of the fanbase
but feel free to hang out if you like. You seem more reasonable than most Red Sox fans, though I can’t say we’ve had many wandering in.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 8, 2010 10:55 AM PDT up reply actions
"Most Red Sox fans" Being the trolls who wander in here I assume?
Sorry if it seems like I’m taking a defensive stance here, but I get that a lot. Used to be nobody cared if you were a Sox fan, it was like being a fan of the Mariners of the Tigers. We’ve gotten pretty heavily diluted since ‘04 and a lot of the “fans” we’ve taken on have been the unsavory sort.
I love what John Henry and Theo have done with the team, but sometimes when I’m getting flamed for no reason I feel like maybe we were better off without a title.
Anyway, thank you for welcoming me in. You guys seem like you have a fun team here, even if they are in a sort of funk, I can sympathize.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
by TheLoneDavid on May 8, 2010 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
In general Red Sox fans that were fans pre-2004 are some of the best in baseball.
Red Sox fans that have adopted the team (or transitioned from casual to active) since 2004 are terrible. Unfortunately the ones that show up at Safeco when the Red Sox are in town seem to be more the latter than the former.
by Aaron Campeau on May 8, 2010 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
At least that is how it seems to me based on my experiences in Seattle, which definitely skews the perceptions a bit.
by Aaron Campeau on May 8, 2010 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions
It's the same in Chicago.
There were times when I wanted to jump ship and join up with one of the teams here just on principle, but I hate just about every single player on both Chitown teams, and the fans act exactly like post-2004 Red Sox fans. Milton Bradley was the only thing they had going for them, and now you guys have him.
Besides, I really couldn’t do that, I’d feel like I was betraying Wakefield.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
by TheLoneDavid on May 8, 2010 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions
Right.
I didn’t mean to get on your case about it, I think that the Sox have a good FO and I’m glad they finally won it, it’s just had a lot of ugly consequences.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 8, 2010 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions
I was agreeing with you, just sort of trying to warn you for what could happen should the M's pull it together and win it.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
by TheLoneDavid on May 8, 2010 11:27 AM PDT up reply actions
Personally I'm hoping that never happens
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2010 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Well yeah but you don't even like baseball and you hate this team
by Aaron Campeau on May 8, 2010 11:46 AM PDT up reply actions
The more I've thought about it, the more I have reason to believe that winning is the worst thing that can happen to a fan
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2010 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions
Seems dangerous
We should all have one of our other teams win so we don’t have to endanger our Mariners fanhood
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2010 11:59 AM PDT up reply actions
What would you blog about if it did happen?
Lookout Landing would be a happy community instead of a mutually suicidal support group.
We kind of ended up with a lesser following after 2001, but I don't remember anything bad coming of that.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 8, 2010 12:04 PM PDT up reply actions
Also, the Marlins have won two World Series in the past fifteen years and NO ONE cares about them.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 8, 2010 12:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Especially their ownership.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on May 8, 2010 12:25 PM PDT up reply actions
The Marlins are from Florida, they don't count because nobody down there actually knows what a baseball looks like.
The White Sox are a better example. Before 2005 there was only the occasional asshole in black and white walking around town. Now they swarm everywhere. They’re an organization that actually is full of assholes, from AJ Pierzynski to that fat bastard Hawk Harrelson. The team is completely without merit, even worse than the Yankees.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
Now that I think about it, that's weird.
Doesn’t Florida have crazy good little leagues? Shouldn’t baseball theoretically be really popular?
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
Theoretically.
It’s a college football and NASCAR state though, which is incredibly confusing to me as I can’t stand either.
If I was your math homework I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
I'm a 7 WAR player in bed.
by TheLoneDavid on May 8, 2010 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Their kids all blow out their arms before they turn 15...
because they all pitch all year round.
A bit of doggerel or An Ode To Eyebrows.
There was a host of men led by a bloke named Sullivan
Betwixt them they’d bicker incessantly
RZR, UZR, wOBA the lot
"Who’s better" or "Who shall I draft for my fantasy team"
Yet they were united by the compass and trident
Except one who insisted "Not me!"
For this was no ordinary company
There were men of letters and advanced degree
Other of questionable pedigree
However, together they bowed to logic
And equipped themselves accordingly
Quickly they would unite and flex their might
If in their midst should appear an enemy
These would take various guise
"Team chemistry" was often their battle cry
"With Sweeney as nursemaid and Griffey… doing whatever he does
this team shall win despite!"
And the host would grimace yet take satisfaction
In anticipation of the pending fight – no fair weather fans were these
Many had sacrificed for Grifflent
Thus their noses were already bent
The rest were cocksure with spreadsheets at hand
And a link to Fangraphs at the ready
Despite preseason projections, the season quickly went south
A drought rapidly became a rout
There was a dearth of runs, apparently the team could not be bothered
When in their midst rose a man- such a man!
He said "Despite being down on your luck- of this I do not give a fuck
For no longer can I pretend! You may consider me one of your number.
No doubt, you should feel honored."
Amongst the host was nary a gasp. Yet touched were they-
This news made their day
So a great shout was heard to ring out.
Many a glass was lifted (no Benedict Arnold was he
but one of their very own captains)
All had known that he was one of their own
Despite his vehement protestations
And happy were they that glorious day
The words he spoke-
Well lets us just say that despite the dirt in his eye
Poochie was hear to mutter "this is gay"
Yet this tale has no proper ending
Even the end of the season is no reason
For the mighty ship LL to seek port
There’s always more- rookies, trades, drafts galore
Some new fangled bit of technology
This sport never grants peace
Instead it’s the company- hugs from RC!
As together they share the journey.
by Kermit. on May 8, 2010 12:17 PM PDT reply actions 21 recs
Holy shit.
This is awesome.
Karma police, arrest this man.
by wyte_lightning on May 8, 2010 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions
Appreciated, and rc you always say the nicest things
Too bad I didn’t edit with more diligence. Heard not hear, there’s a few more. Fun stuff, though I can see why people that do this with any frequency keep a pad and pencil handy.
Brilliant read...
And I can relate – I was going through a similar thing when the Expos (yes, I’m a Montrealer who watched baseball) moved. I still loved baseball, but I needed a team because I just couldn’t do the whole Nationals thing. (I’m sure some of you are doing that with the Thunder, too).
So I stumbled upon the Mariners. I loved reading this site and the other blogs and my October memories were always cheering for the Mariners against the Yankees.
This isn’t nearly as well written, but I could really relate with the switch.
It looks like Eyebrows spent a ton of time here anyway.
It usually confuses me when a fan changes allegiance to teams, but in this case it seems to makes sense because of how deeply involved Eyebrows is with this community.
The only question I have is- would the feeling be same if a Mariners fan moved elsewhere (Baltimore, or Arlington, or even Boston) and became a fan of that local team? I moved to Wisconsin almost 10 years ago, but I still hate the Brewers. Remaining an Angels fan is one way for me to remain close to home although I’m 2000 miles away. I think that’s what some people (Angel fans) have a problem with, fandom is more than geography.
Good luck everyone.
I moved to Philadelphia...
and enjoyed going to games, but never really “liked” the Phillies. Now that they’ve won, and everyone thinks they’ve been die hard Phillies fans since they were born, I really kind of dislike the Phillies.
Everybody has his own definition of fandom
Can’t really blame anyone for how he chooses to follow a sport.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 9, 2010 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Recall that a large part of it was the affect of participating on this website.
So if a Mariner fan found themselves essentially only participating/following with a different team’s community like this one, I think it is entirely possible. Plus there is that whole cognitive dissonance aspect that occurred from the general dislike of your website (sorry) and the fact that the Angels are also a division rival. I think that while it may not happen to everyone, it is certainly not impossible.
...and now I'm here
I'd have no problem at all with it if something happened that made him or her genuinely emotionally invested in the new team.
It’s not a betrayal of anything to switch fan allegiances – it’s only baseball, after all.
Sports are serious business.
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
by JAH on May 9, 2010 6:14 PM PDT up reply actions
As someone that is an absolute die-hard fan of a team that represents a city that I have never been to in a country I have never been to
and a city that is universally acknowledged to suck massive amounts of ass no less, I agree that fandom is more than geography. It’s about a lot of things and those things are deeply personal. What’s important is that you love your team, more than anything. And occasionally people fall out of love with teams. I don’t want to speak for Eyebrows, but it seems to me that that’s what happened here; he didn’t feel that connection any longer. I’ve felt that before. I was a huge 49ers fan growing up, and I remember the day I realized that my affection for them was lost forever. Same deal with the Boston Celtics. Frankly, I’m amazed it didn’t happen with the Mariners.
I’ve known people that were Mariners fans and fell in love with another team. I don’t think any less of them and I don’t consider their fandom to be less valid or passionate than my own. One of my best friends was an A’s fan his entire life and has recently begun rooting for the Mariners. I guess it’s a little like being committed and falling for another person; you didn’t mean for it to happen, you probably didn’t even want for it to happen, but at a certain point you have to acknowledge the reality of the situation and move forward. Luckily this is just sports and not people’s lives.
So, to answer your question, I’d probably be a little bit annoyed, but ultimately I would realize that it’s not my life, it’s not my free time and it’s not my choice. Who cares? Unless we’re talking about an Aston Villa fan switching allegiances to Birmingham City. In which case they’d get a brick through their window.
by Aaron Campeau on May 10, 2010 1:01 AM PDT up reply actions 10 recs
You put it better than I did.
I didn’t WANT to be a Mariners fan, I just became one.
mariners fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on May 10, 2010 8:28 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
I was a Royals fan when I left Missouri in 1981 and moved to Seattle.
I immediately switched allegiance because I just cannot root against the home team. I know I am wired strangely that way, but nothing annoys me more than someone from somewhere else always blathering about how things are better where they used to live. I would rather become a part of the community I have moved to that wax poetic about where I no longer am.
At the same time I accept people who are fans of teams where they do not or maybe have never lived. It is strange to me and does not make sense, but just because something does not make sense does not mean it is wrong.
If and when I ever leave Seattle I will become a fan of whatever team is closest.
by Sec 108 on May 10, 2010 9:00 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I too started out as an Angels fan
As a child I went to Angels/Rams games on a fairly regular basis. My favorites were Brian Downing, Mike Witt, Wally Joyner and Chili Davis.
But then my dad got a job up in Washington in ‘93, and we moved north. My dad embraced the Mariners and was soon taking me and my sister to Mariners games. Didn’t take long for the transition to take place thereafter. 1995 sealed the deal (with our play-off berth coming ironically at the expense of my old favorite).
Welcome aboard Eyebrows.
You get 95, and I get the 2010 craptacular!
One of us comes out better on this deal.
mariners fan in seattle
Great OP!
My story is pretty similar. (Seattle as a magnet city probably has many case of carpetbagging fans like us).
I’ve been an Orioles fan my whole life. From little league days of wanting to be Mickey Tettleton, to eyes welling up with tears as Ripken broke the streak, to the heartbreak of finding out Raffy tested positive for steroids. I remember Jeffrey Maier like it was yesterday, the amazing 1997 season and the collapse of 1998. The faux-resurgence in 2005 was the biggest rollercoaster of a season I have ever experienced. I’ve watched phenoms get traded, and players like Roberts and Tejada waste their primes with a losing team.
I moved out to Seattle a year ago and started watching the M’s. Last season I pulled for both teams, and by mid season as the Orioles began their ritual of giving up, I started following the Mariners more. I discovered this site, and how hilarious and insightful it is, and really got into the team.
Well anyway, I made a conscience decision before the April series that I was going to pull for the Mariners instead of the O’s. I even went to the game in a Figgins shirt and M’s cap. I will always love the god awful Orioles, but Seattle is my home, and I love my new home team. Go M’s!
by Poulsbo Lumberjax on May 14, 2010 2:23 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

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