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5/5: Open Game Thread, Part 3

Wbc_029_tiny by Jeff Sullivan on in Seattle Mariners Game Threads

WHY DID YOU BRING BACK THE GOD DAMN RALLY FRIES

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Read More: Seattle Mariners, Tampa Bay Rays at Seattle Mariners, May 5, 2010 7:10 PM PDT

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We have 2 runs!

"Why did he run when I was going to throw him out?"
- Ichiro Suzuki

by Slow Country on May 5, 2010 8:37 PM PDT reply actions  

That's two more runs than I remember ever having!

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors

by JY on May 5, 2010 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

We only got to 96 on that one.

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors

by JY on May 5, 2010 8:37 PM PDT reply actions  

I'm sure it's been asked before...

but what did we do to deserve FSN’s “Umpire/Catcher” ass cam?

by David Sarmento on May 5, 2010 8:38 PM PDT reply actions  

I wouldn't mind the fries so much

If they would wait until we actually needed a rally to give them out

by wetzelcoal on May 5, 2010 8:40 PM PDT reply actions  

So true story

I was kicking around a USSM post about how much I hated the Rally Fries and everything they demonstrate what’s wrong with broadcasts. Then one day I was in a meeting and going to project a document, but Word/Windows corrupted everything and my doc showed up with a huge chunk of rally fry hatred before the actual release coordination stuff.

I was horrified, it was totally unprofessional. And people were like “yeah, I hate Rally Fries too!”

by DMZ on May 5, 2010 8:40 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

So assuming Jack Wilson is actually hurt and can't play for a while

What the hell does the team do? They can’t play a bunch of games with a Mike Sweeney/Griffey and backup catcher bench. Can they?

by ScottBrowne on May 5, 2010 8:40 PM PDT reply actions  

Here I am!

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 9:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

Didn't go

Instead I celebrated by making a rum tortilla

by Robert on May 5, 2010 10:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

He is a master

of baiting.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 8:51 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

He lost me by talking shit about soccer on his radio show

while he was under contract to announce games for the Sounders.

by BrianL on May 5, 2010 8:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

AGREED!!

Karma police, arrest this man.

by wyte_lightning on May 5, 2010 8:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

Agreed there.

He has no business calling a soccer match.

by katal on May 5, 2010 8:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

He shares on Twitter.

I read it in his accent which makes it even better.

7500 to Holte

by Kirsten Schlewitz on May 5, 2010 8:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

...

I don’t know that I have a crush on any other Seattle sports people?

7500 to Holte

by Kirsten Schlewitz on May 5, 2010 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeppers.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 8:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

You might be his only educated fan.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 8:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

If you like uneducated shock jocks with nothing to present but dick jokes.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 8:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

I don't consider him a shock jock.

He’s articulate and isn’t a racist or misogynist. He isn’t the most informed baseball fan, but he seems to respect stats.

by katal on May 5, 2010 8:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

He knows nothing about any sport other than NBA basketball.

The other day a caller asked if he knew what a circle change was. He said (and I paraphrase) “Grow some balls and don’t ask about stupid things that make no sense – You can fool a lot of people, but not me.”

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 8:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

Lee.

60 strikes 19 balls.

by MFAN on May 5, 2010 8:45 PM PDT reply actions  

Oh lord.

Tightness in Jack’s Hammy.

by Ender15 on May 5, 2010 8:46 PM PDT reply actions  

I really don't care about the fries if we win.

Do you think anyone complained about the Rally Monkey in Anaheim? They probably would have if they didn’t win the World Series.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 8:47 PM PDT reply actions  

That we should avoid getting mad about rally fries all over again.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate how people with rally fry signs get attention while much more creative signs from classic baseball fans are ignored. That sucks. My point was that who cares about all the stupid promotions or peripheral shit when your team is winning? Constantly playing Zombie Nation, or Who Let the Dogs Out is annoying, but it also was an after thought when your excited about the team and the game itself. Our team is so annoying right now that lame promotions like the return of rally fries are distracting us from the reason we really tune in: entertainment. When you don’t enjoy the game, have depressed hopes for your team, and are on a losing streak with low attendance numbers, I understand why we just want to find things to rag on. But the real source of frustration for most people is the team, the players, even the coaches.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 8:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

I feel like we should start referring to runs as goals.

Much more exciting to yell, and happen just about as often.

by dkulich on May 5, 2010 8:47 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

Holy shit Figgins on the Left side.

Just start batting Right against righties. It can’t be any worse.

by Ender15 on May 5, 2010 8:47 PM PDT reply actions  

Lee pitchers like a God when its tied

2 run leads though, another story

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 8:57 PM PDT reply actions  

Man oh man

I really don’t like Lopez

by Stormton on May 5, 2010 9:01 PM PDT reply actions  

:<(

Karma police, arrest this man.

by wyte_lightning on May 5, 2010 9:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

.

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on May 5, 2010 9:05 PM PDT up reply actions   2 recs

Law school + being a Mariners fan.

I can’t really think of a recipe more stressful than that.

by Ian Smell on May 5, 2010 9:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

It's a really nice and welcome distraction for me

Except when I have to stay up until 1am to watch Felix and Cliffmass games.

by ungoreatstefan on May 5, 2010 9:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

It's not that bad

I’m not the only one who still watches MLB.TV in class

Stats are not a euphemism for tits

by Trenchtown on May 5, 2010 9:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

I love guys who take huge hacks

At least when you suck at hitting it looks like you are trying.

by Edgar for Pres on May 5, 2010 9:02 PM PDT reply actions  

Holy shit Zobrist

ROB JOHNSON IS THE WORST PERSON EVER

by I Lick Squirrels on May 5, 2010 9:06 PM PDT reply actions  

Oh god damnit.

Why couldn’t you fall down you fuck!

by Ender15 on May 5, 2010 9:07 PM PDT reply actions  

I still have trouble believing that Cliff Lee is a Mariner.

It’s a wonderful feeling every time I see him in that uniform.

by ScottBrowne on May 5, 2010 9:12 PM PDT reply actions  

FUCKING ZOBRIST!

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:12 PM PDT reply actions  

That is somehow Rob Johnson's fault

I’m sure.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:12 PM PDT reply actions  

IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, NOT SEAN WHITE!

ANYBODY BUT SEAN WHITE!

ROB JOHNSON IS THE WORST PERSON EVER

by I Lick Squirrels on May 5, 2010 9:13 PM PDT reply actions  

FUCK THIS SHIT!

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:13 PM PDT reply actions  

I see what you did there with your name.

I knew a guy named Ian once.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 9:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

I used to know a bitch named Sean White.

He used to roll around, giving up hits to the Rays all night.

by katal on May 5, 2010 9:14 PM PDT reply actions  

Thanks Josh wilson. Fuck off and die.

I go to law school. Therefore, I have no life.

by andrewgolfsalot on May 5, 2010 9:14 PM PDT reply actions  

FUCK

ROB JOHNSON IS THE WORST PERSON EVER

by I Lick Squirrels on May 5, 2010 9:14 PM PDT reply actions  

Josh Wilson should have had a V8 instead.

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 9:14 PM PDT reply actions  

Another loss

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:15 PM PDT reply actions  

Comical

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on May 5, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

aww come on

seriously.. i am getting disappointed

by level on May 5, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

Time to nuke the site from orbit;

it’s the only way to be sure.

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 9:16 PM PDT reply actions  

come on

if Ichiro doesn’t get a hit this game……………….

by level on May 5, 2010 9:17 PM PDT reply actions  

It really isn't May?

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 9:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

YOWzers

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on May 5, 2010 9:19 PM PDT reply actions  

This game is over.

"Why did he run when I was going to throw him out?"
- Ichiro Suzuki

by Slow Country on May 5, 2010 9:19 PM PDT reply actions  

Twins, Yankees, and Rays are SO much better than the M's.

We could win the west, but I don’t like us in a 7 game series unless Bedard is back strong. The Rays are leaps and bounds ahead of the Mariners.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:19 PM PDT reply actions  

Not sure what you mean.

We can’t beat anyone now, obviously. The question is if we are even capable of beating these teams. Maybe we shouldn’t get too excited about making the playoffs, if our division is the worst, and the wild card team will be the second or third best team in baseball.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah, especially if Bedard is back.

The trouble is that Tampa and NY can’t face each other in the first round. So we will face on of the two first. Anything can happen, but I just think the AL west champ will be a second tier team compared to the others.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

Don't tease me I'm bad with sarcasm.

In case your serious: Minnesota, NY, and Tampa in the playoffs is controversial?

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sigh.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 9:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

Actually a lot of people.

Why is it so strange to say a team 10 games over .500 could win the division when the division leader at the moment is only 15-14?

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

No I'm not trolling.

It’s not intentional. It doesn’t really matter what I write, SB is going to rag on it.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

YES YOU ARE

YOU ARE TROLLING. THIS IS TEXTBOOK TROLLING.

by BrianL on May 5, 2010 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

No, it totally matters.

The people that are pissed off at you right (NOTICE HOW I USED THIS ONE IN THIS CONTEXT INSTEAD OF THE OTHER SPELLING WHICH IS WRITE) don’t get pissed off easily. We are pissed off because you are a fucking moron.

by Aaron Campeau on May 5, 2010 9:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

No kidding.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 9:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

Why waste the energy?

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 9:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

I get it. Let's kill Jeff Renner.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 9:30 PM PDT up reply actions  

I only stay for you guys.

Are you saying you aren’t annoyed by the M’s? Isn’t that the point of this blog? I’m tired of annoying things, and I’m tired of the M’s finding annoying ways to lose.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

My frustration

is compounded by the frustrated others that flock to good websites only to frustrate others with their collective observations, of which most are frustrating and fucking useless.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 9:59 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

No but we have to be realistic that whoever wins the west will not be a championship caliber team.

We could get hot before the playoffs I guess. Winning the division will be a success, but we still have so much work to do. The Rays are absolutely dominating us.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

on the other hand

there’s probably a good point about this being exactly the kind of thing that took too much time and energy to deal with, thus eventually forcing retirement

by DMZ on May 5, 2010 9:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm not going to lie, I never commented on USSM and never have had a real desire to do so

but I was pretty saddened by this kind of bullshit causing you to quit the blogosphere. You guys did (and continue to do) a great job promoting advanced baseball analysis and smart fandom.

I just hope that having regulars around to help regulate (and a giant sports blog evil empire) keeps Jeff, Matthew, Graham and Jon from ever experiencing the kind of bullshit you guys put up with.

You really were and still are a huge asset to the best blogosphere in baseball.

by seattlebruin on May 5, 2010 9:59 PM PDT up reply actions   6 recs

thanks dude

That’s really nice of you to say

by DMZ on May 5, 2010 10:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

If it wasn't for your spots on Fox post-game shows I never would have found USSM and modern analysis.

I loved your writing and it kills me that all of the bullshit you had to deal caused you to step away from blogging about the team.

by BrianL on May 5, 2010 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

USSM was my initiation into the Mariners blogosphere

I say, without a doubt, I’d still be a more stupid fan without it.

by Gihyou on May 5, 2010 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

I was on the post-game show?

Another true USSM story: I was once supposed to go on the FSN pre-game with Wil Lelitch the then-Deadspin editor, and Deadspin did something and FSN cancelled the whole thing without explanation.

I have no idea which of Deadspin’s 5,000 daily posts triggered it, but that was my one chance to get on the team broadcast.

by DMZ on May 5, 2010 10:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

Ditto -

Best to you.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

Next time you go back to the retirement home

Can you convince Griffey to tag along?

Stats are not a euphemism for tits

by Trenchtown on May 5, 2010 10:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

Watch these games we are playing. I think I get it.

Rays : Championship Caliber. Mariners : Not even close.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 9:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

An entire community is telling you to go away.

We aren’t hinting, we aren’t kidding, we aren’t giving you a spoon full of sugar.
We are saying knock it the fuck off and take yourself elsewhere.

7500 to Holte

by Kirsten Schlewitz on May 5, 2010 9:42 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

That has got to be broken

What're ya gonna do with those pies, boys?

by rickpo on May 5, 2010 9:20 PM PDT reply actions  

You guys are assholes

I’m impressed by Rob’s toughness

by Edgar for Pres on May 5, 2010 9:21 PM PDT reply actions  

He's the best we've got

and whether you like it or not Rob Johnson is not what is wrong with this team and never be.

by Edgar for Pres on May 5, 2010 9:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

You might be right.

But he’s still really shitty.

by ScottBrowne on May 5, 2010 9:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

Never

Been Met one of those…

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 9:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

ICHIRO ICHIRO

ICHIRO ICHIRO only you can save us now

by level on May 5, 2010 9:26 PM PDT reply actions  

Casey homers

you heard it here first

by level on May 5, 2010 9:29 PM PDT reply actions  

Guys, RELAX!

Langerhans has a walkoff HR on lock.

by Ian Smell on May 5, 2010 9:29 PM PDT reply actions  

3 games back

It’s not the end of the world yet.

I bought into it

by ChaseB on May 5, 2010 9:30 PM PDT reply actions  

Back to Halo Reach

God dammit Mariners

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 9:31 PM PDT reply actions  

I'm just missing something.

I mean I make a few comments about rally fries, and mention how much better the Twins, Yankees, and Rays look than the M’s and the hostility starts flowing.

by refuse2lose2010 on May 5, 2010 10:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

NO THE THING YOU ARE MISSING IS CALLED A BRAIN

MOST OF THE REST OF US HAVE THEM AND THEY ARE FUNCTIONAL

by seattlebruin on May 5, 2010 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Because an entire community ganged up on you asking you to stop posting

and then bothered to personally contact me the instant I got home to come to this thread and tell you to

Please take a god damn hint!

by seattlebruin on May 5, 2010 10:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

There's nothing to criticize and that's part of the problem

You speak in generalities. Unsubstantiated generalities that are meaningless and/or obvious.

by Kermit. on May 5, 2010 10:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

OKAY, I get it.

I’m supposed to be in love with you.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

This might sound crazy

But if everyone else is doing it, why are you being ganged up on?

by Graham MacAree on May 5, 2010 10:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

You're also an uneducated ponce, but OK.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

Imagine all your posts were actually part of a conversation you were having with strangers at a bar

You say a lot of stupid stuff. Maybe you don’t realize its stupid but whatever. When everybody at the bar is telling you to get the fuck out, what would you do? If you did this at a normal bar you would end up getting your ass kicked.

Sit down and read through everything you said and everything everybody said about you. Don’t post again until you think about why people don’t like you. Maybe this takes a while but once you find this out maybe, just maybe you will learn how to not be a drag on the community. My guess is that you never figure it out and that’s ok. Just don’t post if you can’t figure out how to not piss everybody off.

Its really unfortunate that we can’t distill the fear of physical pain to people through the internet. It would reduce the amount of trolls.

by Edgar for Pres on May 5, 2010 10:11 PM PDT up reply actions   3 recs

Seems like a good guy to me...

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sweeney!

“The way we’re going to do that is just, to love on him,” Sweeney said. “His track record shows he’s had some ups and downs. But we can embrace him and get him to click the way he did in Texas”

by voltron27 on May 5, 2010 9:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

The best part:

“As Bradley sat down, Sweeney hugged him.”

by Avery Bowron on May 5, 2010 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Jeff Sullivan

A Mariners fan in Seattle

by Coach Owens on May 5, 2010 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Why?

This is easier for me and I mostly trust you guys.

by Jeff Sullivan on May 5, 2010 10:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oh in that case.

Ian Smell and Refuse2Lose2010 suck.

by BrianL on May 5, 2010 10:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

What about "Adrian Smelltre"

Because he said it was a coin flip between the two.

by DMZ on May 5, 2010 10:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

GOD!

We should never have traded Washburn, amirite!?

Don't worry; I'm a writer.

by harkening on May 5, 2010 10:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

Snopes says Seattle has a baseball team.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

Rainers are still in Tacoma, right?

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 10:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

Bullshit.

I don’t believe it until it rapes me with happiness.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

After one you call the cops, the other?

You call them back or buy a jersey.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

My sig at MarinerCentral.com is an OLD anonymous suicide letter that reads:

“All this buttoning and unbuttoning.”

Apropos as well.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

The safety word is "banana"?

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 10:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

NO!!!! ATACK WORD!!! GAHHH!!!

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

I get it.

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 10:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

I love when they call him "Mr. White";

makes me think of Reservoir Dogs.

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 9:36 PM PDT reply actions  

Why do the M's do this?

Do other teams stomp on the hearts of their fans like this?

by FairWeatherFred on May 5, 2010 9:37 PM PDT reply actions  

There we go

It wouldn’t feel like a Mariner game without a Rob Johnson PB

by JLC on May 5, 2010 9:39 PM PDT reply actions  

We are so bad

Disney straight to DVD sequel bad

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 9:39 PM PDT reply actions  

Rob Schneider bad

although he could probably walk as much as Rob Johnson

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 9:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

Joel Schumacher bad

Stats are not a euphemism for tits

by Trenchtown on May 5, 2010 9:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

KILL WHITEY!!!!

Stats are not a euphemism for tits

by Trenchtown on May 5, 2010 9:41 PM PDT reply actions  

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Nothing’s beter than sarcastic cheering for the guy that can’t throw a strike.

by James F'n X on May 5, 2010 9:42 PM PDT reply actions  

Hey a strike!!

And the crowd goes wild!

Karma police, arrest this man.

by wyte_lightning on May 5, 2010 9:42 PM PDT reply actions  

And importantly:

This obviously was not Milton’s fault. Still, I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon Milton!

by Avery Bowron on May 5, 2010 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sean White meet Strike Zone

get to know it, you’ll need to use it

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 9:43 PM PDT reply actions  

Pitching and Defense

Ha

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 9:44 PM PDT reply actions  

BOOOOOOO!

Fucking pathetic.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:44 PM PDT reply actions  

Hell no he didn't.

“White didn’t have his best stuff tonight, but boy did he battle. You just got to have a belief system that he will get back to where he was last season.”

by Ender15 on May 5, 2010 9:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

I hope we hit a grand slam in the bottom of the inning

and lose 7-6.

That would be diarrhea icing on the shit cake.

by Craig341 on May 5, 2010 9:45 PM PDT reply actions  

I smell it.

The way the shit clings to the air. The shit blizzard’s coming.

by voltron27 on May 5, 2010 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

Fuck Jose...

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on May 5, 2010 9:46 PM PDT reply actions  

FIRE OUR HITTING COACH!

And demote Kenekoa!

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:47 PM PDT reply actions  

Because our offense still fuckign sucks

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

It does

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

Our offense can't score runs

Or haven’t you noticed…

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

What the hell did Teixera do?

He got a groundball and a strikeout.

by BrianL on May 5, 2010 9:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

I know

He doesn’t deserve it.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

Mascot?

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 9:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

This could be a hell of a come back

Doubtful, but possible

Stats are not a euphemism for tits

by Trenchtown on May 5, 2010 9:49 PM PDT reply actions  

Word

This team brings my hopes up again and then grounds into a DP and crushes them.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

Shut your mouth

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

Fuck no...

I want Milton to come back and destroy the Angels…they’ve been playing even worse than us.

by Avery Bowron on May 5, 2010 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

And THAT

is how a 7-run rally starts.

by Cougriculture on May 5, 2010 9:53 PM PDT reply actions  

7 runs incoming!

…over the next week

Yes, we have a coupon.

by Crystal for DH on May 5, 2010 9:53 PM PDT reply actions  

you're an optimist

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

Here we go

We had a 7 run inning once before remember

by wetzelcoal on May 5, 2010 9:53 PM PDT reply actions  

he's in time out

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 9:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

In a mental institution

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

and there we go

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:57 PM PDT reply actions  

Come on Wilson

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 9:58 PM PDT reply actions  

I have nightmares that the bases are loaded and Rob Johnson is batting

any variety of J Wilson is no better

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 9:58 PM PDT reply actions  

We got a run!

They should add Handicaps to baseball so that would count for like five runs.

by FairWeatherFred on May 5, 2010 9:59 PM PDT reply actions  

If this team rallies around a broken Milton Bradley and each of them discovers something about themselves in the process.

That would be really sweet and even if they fail to win the division each of them would be a champion. A champion in life, which is what really matters. Muahahahaha MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA SWEEEEEEENEYYYY

by Kermit. on May 5, 2010 10:00 PM PDT reply actions  

And Mike Sweeney comes in to fuck it up

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:00 PM PDT reply actions  

Hold on -

You’re from Yakima. Your suck meter is broken by proxy.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hey they have Miners Burgers.

Other than that it kinda sucks.

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 10:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

Miner's Burgers are spectacular.

I used to drive from Ellensburg over to get their food all the time.

Karma police, arrest this man.

by wyte_lightning on May 5, 2010 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

Minor burgers are the only retribution.

Spent 18 fucking years there.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

I stop every time I'm close.

The rest of the town is shit though.

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 10:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

Bullshit.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

Like it, but it's no match for Miners.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

I've never tried Miners, so I want to now.

Red Mill’s have been the best I’ve had in maybe 20 states. Miners’ must be tried this summer.

by TrustBaseball on May 5, 2010 10:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

Red Mill is good, but Miners is like crack betwwen buns.

Shut up, Kermit.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

It's the sauce (personal opinion), lov/hate for a lot of people

Someone that knows help me out, it’s white so I assume it’s loaded with mayonnaise? This is probably incorrect so don’t take my word on this.

by Kermit. on May 5, 2010 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

You're right.

He’s never gonna make it there.

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 11:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

Although the "secret sauce"

from most places involves mayo, only Miners and Arctic Circle thrive there.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

I eagerly await the chance to taste these other burgers.

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 10:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

Not even Yakima

Closer to the Tri-Cities, but still a tiny-ass town.

by yakvalleycardinal on May 5, 2010 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

You lives sucked only slightly less than ours! You had a MALL!

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

It did and fucking sucked.

To have to drive to the Tri for fun means your town sucks.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yes it does.

I’ll come back and die there soon, I’m sure, if that makes you feel better.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

Not really.

We’re all essentially salmon. We spawn there, we leave for a while, then come back to die.

by yakvalleycardinal on May 5, 2010 10:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

I fear this will happen to me.

Hey at least the Tricities have a minor league team.

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 10:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

Go Dust Devils~!

Except when they play the Aquasox.

I would like to thank the wolves that raised Eric Brynes ...

by ErictheRed on May 5, 2010 10:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

I really enjoy it.

Cheap too.

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 10:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

Thirsty Thursday was nice

Especially when they blew all of the cheap beer early and ended up selling the not-cheap beer for a dollar.

by yakvalleycardinal on May 5, 2010 10:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

I learned to drink away the pain in Yakima.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

Suicide hill.

six of us drinking around three burning cans of Sterno. God I love the memories more than the reality.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

Huh??

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 10:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

The Commons at Federal Way, formerly SeaTac Mall

is a tremendously terrible shopping outlet. But they do have one of the best movie theaters in the south Sound.

It was humor by point of comparison. And it failed. I AM NOT A FUNNY PERSON!

Don't worry; I'm a writer.

by harkening on May 5, 2010 10:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

The Commons is a douchey name anyway

And so is Federal Way.

shit, and so is SeaTac.

by Karma Police on May 5, 2010 10:30 PM PDT up reply actions  

Haha somehow that makes perfect sense

Like Chad Pennington. Every time I see him I think “goddamn your family owned so many slaves I just know it.”

by Karma Police on May 5, 2010 10:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

Seriously? Holy crap.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

Why Mike! WHY!

Peace, Love and West Coast Hip Hop, Go Mariners!

by E2ESQUARE on May 5, 2010 10:02 PM PDT reply actions  

How fitting.

I can’t wait to go to my first game so I can boo Sweeney or Griffey. I hope both are playing.

by Cantu Easley Winn on May 5, 2010 10:02 PM PDT reply actions  

You boo Griffey I will fucking cut you

You do not screw with Griffey, Sweeney on the other hand.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

I find it hard to boo one of the team's most iconic players ever

Seems wrong.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

Here's what you do: boo the inept batter ahead of him

It’ll feel perfectly normal, well-deserved…

… and then you just keep booing.

Pretty soon, you’ll be able to do it without prompting or prep.

by DMZ on May 5, 2010 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

Nice

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

Wrong?

What’s wrong is trying to mind fuck your life long fans when you know for a fact your dick fell off years ago.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 10:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

I love Griffey and I will still boo him if he is terrible

last year he got his swan song and got to have everyone cheer for him. There was no excuse for coming back this year and saying he’d play for a different team if the M’s didn’t want him

by seattlebruin on May 5, 2010 10:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

True

He had some sweet hits last year, now it just sucks.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Someone hit these guys over the head or something, they suck right now.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:02 PM PDT reply actions  

I will now post a chart.

Nobody else will post a chart.

by Jeff Sullivan on May 5, 2010 10:04 PM PDT reply actions   3 recs

Chart Nazi.

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

I will chart my own sadness

and how the Mariners reflect the voyage and sinking of the Titanic almost perfectly.

A Mariners fan in Seattle

by Coach Owens on May 5, 2010 10:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah you have to have hope before you can fail.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

I was more going with the journey being 2/3 complete when they hit an ice berg after lighting additional boilers.

And then slowly took on water before over-balancing and plummeting. But, yeah, hope works, too! It makes me seem far less of a historical pedant at the same time.

Don't worry; I'm a writer.

by harkening on May 5, 2010 10:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

Mariners History 101

Expect your team to find a way to fuck it up.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

I lived through the Golden Age.

They’ve only been letting me down for half my life. Anyone over the age of 30, who has been a fan since the beginning and remains a fan today…I admire them like I might revere a saint. The passion is almost unbearable.

Don't worry; I'm a writer.

by harkening on May 5, 2010 10:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

It was only a golden age

AFter the LONGEST TIME WITHOUT A WINNING SEASON OF ANY EXPANSION TEAM IN PRO SPORTS HISTORY! Ugh.

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

I thought he died the way Josh Hamilton lived?

"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good and let me be judged accordingly. The rest is silence." ~ Dinobot

by beastwarking on May 5, 2010 10:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

Things seriously soured after Byrnes' retarded play over the weekeend cost us 2 losses

And Wak was a moron for trying to overmanage and sending Byrnes out there.

The wheels really started falling off this goddam ship after that.

by Sam Regens on May 5, 2010 10:10 PM PDT reply actions  

Those two walkoffs in a row in Chicago hurt too

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on May 5, 2010 10:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

I didn't like Wak's use of Byrnes, however, it has to be said Wak seems to be an excellent manager of men

By taking Milton Bradley out yesterday in the middle of the game before he could do something crazy to the ump, I think Wak may have nipped a major incident in the bud and just made it minor.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=caple_jim&id=5166796
Reading this article it seems Milton Bradley is reacting in a more constructive way than his meltdowns before.

This is Wak’s strength, how he handles people well. Eventually players in slumps will start pereforming again.

by Sam Regens on May 5, 2010 10:59 PM PDT reply actions  

Fuck this, I'm going to go start my own country

With hookers, and blackjack. In fact, forget the country and the blackjack! Eh screw the whole thing

My Mariners blog SodoMojo, My Twitter Feed

by Griffin Cooper on May 5, 2010 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

Umm... so you're reinventing Aurora Ave?

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

You don't fuck with Texas.

I’m pretty sure I saw that on a bumpersticker.

by TrustBaseball on May 5, 2010 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah, FUCK THEM FOR CHOOSING JUSTIN SMOAK.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

This makes more sense now.

Is it any good?

Everything is Rob Johnson's fault.

by the other side on May 5, 2010 11:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sadly no

On History international I have “The Next Nostradamus”.

and “Modern Marvels”. On the history channel. Modern. Marvels. History. Channel.

Goddamn it…godDAMN IT!

by Karma Police on May 5, 2010 11:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'd rather watch Modern Marvels than Apocalypse Island

Apocalypse Island isn’t even some weird new reality show.

by yakvalleycardinal on May 5, 2010 11:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

She's the reason people around here wear smiles.

BIG ONES.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

A smile that breaks planes and fucks people up!

And pretzels! Oh, Lisa I miss you.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

NO.

It leads to pastries and Bo Jackson on Tecmo Bowl-type goodness. Motherfuckers testify.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hanging out with RC

 Is like milking a unicord that secretes quarters, gambling your riches away at an Aurora casino, then fucking little Debbie in the ear by saying, “Bitch – you ever tried comfort food this good?”

Yeah, it’s kind of like that.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

Other than the typos, it's awesome.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:30 PM PDT up reply actions  

I feel like we really do our best

It just isn’t good enough. We’re kind of…. we’re kind of like Eric Byrnes

My Mariners blog SodoMojo, My Twitter Feed

by Griffin Cooper on May 5, 2010 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

Go fuck youself.

"I might be a butt hoarder...speed skating butts that is." - wazzu93

by kevin_ess on May 5, 2010 11:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hey guys! What did I miss?

(reads thread)

Oh…..ohhhhhh…….

I’m so sorry guys.

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on May 5, 2010 11:08 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

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