4/5: Opening Day Pregame Open Thread
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:11 PM PDT
in Seattle Mariners Game Threads
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PrintAll right, I can't hold out anymore. Mariners!
Your Opening Day lineups:
via web2.twitpic.com
And, in case you need me to whet your appetite for Mariner baseball, I will take this opportunity to present to you the Top 10 Biggest Mariner Hits of 2009.
10) 8/12: Ken Griffey Jr.'s pinch-hit RBI single in the bottom of the 14th gives the Mariners a 1-0 win over the White Sox. +39.5%
9) 5/17: Franklin Gutierrez hits a walk-off single in the bottom of the 9th off Ramon Ramirez to give the M's a 3-2 win over the Red Sox. +39.5%
8) 6/19: Ken Griffey Jr. ties it up in the 8th with a pinch-hit two-run blast off of Tony Pena. +40.9%
7) 5/3: Ichiro singles in the third run of the 13th inning to keep things alive against Oakland. +44.3%
6) 5/3: Prior to Ichiro's heroics, Kenji Johjima hit a solo shot in the bottom of the 9th to pull the M's into a tie. +47.3%
5) 9/17: Bill Hall hits the second of two home runs in the 9th inning off Bobby Jenks, this one a solo shot to tie things up. +49.0%
4) 7/22: With Felix throwing a gem against the Tigers, Russell Branyan turns an 8th inning 1-0 deficit into a 2-1 lead with one swing of the bat. +50.4%
3) 7/9: Franklin Gutierrez. Texas Rangers. Three-run shot. You know the one. +67.2%
2) 8/7: In the most improbable of scenarios, Ryan Langerhans belts a two out, two strike curve from lefty JP Howell to turn a rough M's loss into a walk-off win. +86.7%
1) 9/18: Just a little Ichiro/Rivera action. No biggie. Watch this video, and watch it again, and watch it as many times as possible before the start of Game 1. Baseball's back, and the Mariners have the best team they've had in years and years. +86.7%
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That is the only part of our apartment that doesn't look embarrassing
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
You look five years younger with your new hair.
Do you feel more confident with the ladies too?
by Matthew on Apr 5, 2010 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I wonder how much he paid for the extensions
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
by tootthekazoo on Apr 5, 2010 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I like how the one part of your apartment that's not embarassing consists mostly of the window looking outside
by OlSalty on Apr 5, 2010 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I also couldn't give Robert any useful location reference points
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
You wouldn't believe how long I deliberated over this
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions
I skipped a word in my very first post here
I also improperly punctuated twice, used the wrong spelling on a common word two more times and added an unnecessary word once.
It's a breakfast machine
That thing makes me sausage egg & cheeses in four minutes flat.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions
The bottle to the left of the white wine looks like a kahlua bottle
and the other appliance looks like a coffee machine
That's pretty embarassing
You’re supposed to run your power cords behind the furniture, not in front of the drawers
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
Our HDTV is sitting on a Rubbermaid storage container
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:15 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Come on, man, there has to be plenty of milk crates and cinder blocks available down there
Rubbermaid containers can be more useful than TV holding
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
by tootthekazoo on Apr 5, 2010 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I did the exact same thing for the first 6 months or so after I got my first job/place
out of college. Then I bought a decent TV stand for $75 and haven’t looked back.
My current computer desk however is 2 rubber maid containers on top of each other.
[DELETED ZOMG NO POLITICS]
No shit!
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
by tootthekazoo on Apr 5, 2010 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I just had the Amber last night. It's better than I remembered.
But I might just be hopped out for the time being.
by Matthew on Apr 5, 2010 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Speaking of beer
Local Seattlites, go try some Epic Ales. This is my single most insistent beer recommendation that I have ever made on this site. Available at Full Throttle, Bottleworks and possibly a few other places or from their brew-closet in SoDo
by Matthew on Apr 5, 2010 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Beer + fireworks is a winning combination.
It’s going to be a hell of a day.
So glad the fireworks were saved
I was going to come a weekend when I could catch some baseball if I couldn’t do beer AND fireworks
Any recommendations
These sound….intriguing. I’m up for it, but does the Otto really taste like exotic spices?
Pretty sure I don’t want the Terra-Saurus, but the rest sound good.
But seriously
the Otto tastes like a spiced coffee porter. Like Turkish after dinner coffee spices.
The Terra is ridiculously good if you care for stouts at all.
The Wit is my favorite and I loathe belgian wits normally. They’re all so similar. This is different in a way that’s still a wit and it comes with a great nose too.
The Simple Ale is pretty simply good.
I absolutely love mushrooms, but I didn't taste anything especially mushroom-y.
There was just a very nice earthiness at the finish, similar to what the hops tend to provide but without the bitterness. Because the hops weren’t used to balance the malt to as great a degree as they generally are, it allowed it the malt character of a big stout without the sometimes overwhelming heaviness of a big stout. It’s like the opposite of an IIPA.
by Aaron Campeau on Apr 6, 2010 7:55 AM PDT up reply actions
Apple juice
Men with hair like that don’t need alcohol to enjoy life
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
by tootthekazoo on Apr 5, 2010 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'd guess beer. Or urine.
Probably beer, though.
angels fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on Apr 5, 2010 4:21 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I was looking forward to a nice, frosty beverage with Opening Day
but my allergies have been so crazy since the trip over the mountains this weekend, I am thinking maybe a nice whiskey
by msb on Apr 5, 2010 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm tempted to post a photo of myself sitting here at work with a scowl and a bottle of water
Stupid work…
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
by tootthekazoo on Apr 5, 2010 4:21 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
This is a horrible day for me to have a big paper due tomorrow
Fortunately I’m going to just get tanked and worry about it tomorrow
FELIX!!!!
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
by Corco on Apr 5, 2010 4:22 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Kotchman in the 3 hole?
I don’t know how I feel about that.
You gotta be kidding me
Are those Llamapillars?
Yeah, got that one covered after the fact
My work computer is really lousy and the gif is so choppy and washed out I can hardly make out details. I basically see Z’s and Jeff’s heads attached to poop (yeah I know they’re llamapillars) in space, and then it goes yellow and there’s kind of a dinosaur
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
.
I basically see Z’s and Jeff’s heads attached to poop (yeah I know they’re llamapillars) in space, and then it goes yellow and there’s kind of a dinosaur
That might be the best sentence ever written.
We need a place to collect these awesome gifs for future reference.
And a Hall of Fame with Scruffy being the first person inducted.
Have to decide what to wear to the game
Not everyone can look as cool as Jeff! Fucking cold games. Gonna go with the Mariners jersey over a sweater. Fucking sweatshirts look ever worse. Happy Felix Day!
Carlos Silvelite
Question about win percentages
Those percentages (Like +86.7% for Ichiro’s walk-off against Rivera), does that correlate to WAR at all? Is that .8 of a WAR?
I don’t think it does, but I’m curious.
It does not, directly
This is Win Probability Added. Read more!
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions
I am waiting for the first Photoshop job of someone peaking through Jeff's window.
Ala, the photograph of who was it, Fogel?, last year.
I remember opening day 2008.
And checking online in the second or third inning from Safeco, shocked that the game thread already had nearly a thousand posts. Oh those halcyon days.
Kia ora Mariners whanau from Aotearoa/New Zealand
Paki Paki and me are throwing sickies to watch the game. Have a great opening day everyone. Go Ms
by kyokom on Apr 5, 2010 4:32 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Robert liposucted Jeff's weight while Jeff was sleeping so he could be more like Jeff
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
Here's the worst opening day of my life.
I left the Kingdome cursing Scott Bradley. He was K’d to end the game, so it was obviously his fault for the loss. Being a nine old can make you dumb.
Why would you?
Its such a happy day. Don’t ruin ii.
by the other side on Apr 5, 2010 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions
Here. Let me fix it for you.
The Mariners were terrible that year. That terribleness brought on Alex Rodriguez as the first overall pick of the 1993 draft. He performed admirably for us throughout the decade.
It is Felix day as well.
What happened to Sun Shine and Lollipops?
Fuck the Angels
THESE ARE GOING TO BE THE LONGEST 2 1/2 HOURS EVER
by I Lick Squirrels on Apr 5, 2010 4:39 PM PDT reply actions
For the Griffey Challenge
I’m going to give up making science jokes.
If you're going to use Ima you don't need to say gunna
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:52 PM PDT up reply actions
I learned from all of the black people we have here in Portland
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Temecula was once featured on an episode of that show
guess what gang it was!
Oh my god there are so many episodes
I must watch the following:
“Crazy Killers” — South Side Locos (Sureños) of Oklahoma City
“The Assassins” — Logan Heights of San Diego
“Dog Fights” — Fresno Bulldogs
“Ice Cold Killers” — Crips in Anchorage, Alaska
“Kill ’Em All” — Best Friends
“Gangster, Inc.” — Gangster Disciples of Wisconsin
They're probably eskimos
5 MORE YEARS OF FELIX!
by Marinerfanjake on Apr 5, 2010 5:19 PM PDT up reply actions
That's definitely bullshit.
There aren’t even any black people in Alaska.
by I Lick Squirrels on Apr 5, 2010 6:59 PM PDT up reply actions
Also that show has insured that I will never drive in certain parts of LA
[DELETED ZOMG NO POLITICS]
Bullshit.
The Blazers have a 15-man roster. Although Travis Diener is white enough for all of ’em.
They probably all stay in Lake Oswego and other, nicer places
And have offseason homes elsewhere
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
Portland's International District
is home to such vast racial mingling like: new england liberal, northern california hippie and unmotivated portland native
by Matthew on Apr 5, 2010 5:00 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Retarded question,
but… how? It’s not showing up in my list of programs to uninstall in the Control Panel.
About to head to BART...
and then on to the big ugly hunk of concrete in Oakland. Wooooooo!! Go M’s!
by SFMariner on Apr 5, 2010 4:42 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I'm in a group with 3 M's fans, 2 A's fans and 3 neutral....
I should be ok (but i’m wearing kevlar under my jersey just in case).
Of course it is
but nothing wrong with perpetuating some Oakland stereotypes anyway.
What amazes me most about Joe Morgan is that he combines his well-documented propensity to be wrong about everything
with the complete inability to provide anything (ANYTHING) of interest or value beyond that. Blowers occasionally says stupid shit, but at least he has some interesting stories and can provide some insight now and again.
by abender20 on Apr 5, 2010 4:42 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I could handle him occasionally spouting some misinformation. That's not an uncommon phenomenon amongst broadcasters.
He’s barely capable of describing exactly what is going on. He called Houston’s shortstop “Mark”. You could replace him with a very drunken Frankie Boyle and I’d have a better experience. This isn’t to say that Frankie Boyle isn’t funny, just that he’s fucking hard to understand.
That's the only Houston player I know right now
But I was probably not too far off
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
That Guti blast was my favorite moment from last year.
Though the Ichiro home run was my second favorite. Felix’s reaction is why I loved Guti’s homerun so very much. Ichiro’s little dance at the end of his trot was amazing though.
Man I love baseball.
Now with more lemon bars!
Had the day off
Been at the bar drinking and watching baseball all day. Now I get home and see the MLB package has some free preview going so I can watch the M’s tonight. 10:05 start-yargh but oh well. Baseball!
It seems like not that long ago that I was tearing up as the Ms walked around Safeco and Griffey and Ichiro where carried off the field.
But it’s been 6 goddamn months, 7PM can’t come quick enough. BAAAAAAAAAAASEEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!
50!
I'm leaving work soon. Then out to the game.
Fuck the Angels
I have literally never seen a Dick's Sporting Goods.
They are wasting a lot of money advertising to me.
So many terrible mental images just entered my brain.
Dick’s. Sporting. Goods. Oh God make it end!
by LonelyintheBleachers on Apr 5, 2010 4:57 PM PDT up reply actions
But, like Sonic, just imagine the lines when they finally build local
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 5:03 PM PDT up reply actions
Speaking of ads
has Papa Johns trebeled their ad campaign?
by msb on Apr 5, 2010 5:22 PM PDT up reply actions
I have never had one
but it seems as though they are advertising a lot more, of late
by msb on Apr 5, 2010 5:25 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't think Dick's Sporting Goods would taste as good.
Even though I do like the taste of my foot in my mouth sometimes.
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
by thehemogoblin on Apr 5, 2010 6:00 PM PDT up reply actions
Those damn Sonic commercials haunt me during college football season
I always want something to drink and the stuff they have looks good. The nearest Sonic burger is out in Anaheim.
I ate there once and it wasn’t even that good. Although whatever I had to drink was awesome.
[DELETED ZOMG NO POLITICS]
It kills me
I can hardly run IE on my work machine because of how slow it is, but chrome kills every gif it sees which pains me
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
I'll bloat it up too much with extensions
I use chrome because it is quick and lightweight. I don’t browse much here at work usually, so Chrome is just fine. Besides, with how often websites crash on me I’d rather be able to just kill that tab and not lose the whole browser
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
Opening Day! The excitement is incredible the waiting excruciating.
Very similar to the last day of school throughout grade school. The final bell signaled a new life. How to kill time until 7:07?
Huh, our lineup doesn't look as terrible as it felt before
Most of these hitters are going to be about league average, if not slightly better. Only Rob Jonson and Jack Wilson at the tail look to be holes.
I am cautiously optimistic.
...and now I'm here
I can't believe the game is still almost 2 hours away
I have so much work to do but I will probably aimlessly click through box scores while I wait.
Good Luck today guys
I’m a big Ranger fan but enjoy reading Jeff’s work so don’t hate one me too much.
Just thought I’d drop by and wish you a happy opening day. Wish I could watch the game but my old man has been in the ICU for a couple weeks and I’m going to go spend some time with him.
I'm 5'11" and weight 180.
My friend is 6’6" and weights 280. My friend is not obese. That’s just huge.
Did you see the colbert episode where he talks to the US curling team?
SC: "so what’s your training regimen, do you have any special exercises?)
curler: “No, not really”
SC"…and you’re an Olympic athlete"
The statistics you don't compile never lie.
-Stephen Colbert
by kentcheesehead on Apr 5, 2010 5:22 PM PDT up reply actions
The game should be in the 7th by now :(
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 5:29 PM PDT up reply actions
I can't believe I have to wait until 9pm for this.
I’ve been up since 5:15 :(
I made this one when the commercials came out.
Just good timing.
by Scruffy Lefty on Apr 5, 2010 5:42 PM PDT up reply actions
I just called every liquor store in town and exactly one carries any Pyramid beers
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
I want to drink Seattle-based beer and that's generally the easiest to acquire
In this case, it was the only one acquirable
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
BASEBALL
Yay! It feels like I’ve waited months for this!
"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good and let me be judged accordingly. The rest is silence." ~ Dinobot
Used to be that MLB.tv never worked on Opening Day
Now neither MLB.tv nor MLB.com work on Opening Day
Whoa
On the bright side for our game being late, the traffic should have calmed down a bit
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
I live next to a hospital
Can you blow up that one so it might blow me up too?
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
That Ichiro HR off Marino Rivera ranks on my top 5
Omg, this is fucking awesome Mariners moments of all time, along with the game I attended on my birthday during the 117-win season where Ichiro won it in the bottom of the 9th).
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
Whatever
Twas awesome.
Not a bad way to celebrate my 20th b-day in any case.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
The important thing is that we lost 2,967 less than New York did in September 2001
by Robert on Apr 5, 2010 5:46 PM PDT up reply actions 8 recs
My favorite moment of the entire season of course
Our celebration/remembrance when we won the AL West.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
You just like scoring off me dontcha?
I don’t mind.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
Stupid NexDef plug-in seems to be screwing things up on MLB.TV
That and the Jeter ad.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
There is nothing Hunter Pence does that is graceful.
He’ll get out of bed tomorrow, step on a rake, and stab himself in the ear with a fork while trying to eat cereal.
Happy Felix Day everyone
Hope you enjoy this (not quite as good as Scruffy’s though)
(and sorry RC, but I had to recycle Jim)
by seattle_since_81 on Apr 5, 2010 5:44 PM PDT reply actions 10 recs
Everybody cares about these fantasy teams
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 5:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Bellevue's own cruising right along in Houston
I love that kid, not as much as Felix but still awesome.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
I wouldn't care
Lincecum, Felix, Lee, best 1-2-3 in all of baseball.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
Geoff Blum is playing 1st for the Astros
They aren’t even trying really
Stats are not a euphemism for tits
Happy Felix and Opening Day!
It may be awhile before I get to post again. It’s all up to you, Griffey!
With all these pictures I have a feeling I'm the youngest one in this thread.
Oh the pains of being 17.
M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA
That's because he finally hit puberty
Didn’t you read above? 12 is usually when that happens to a girl right?
by seattle_since_81 on Apr 5, 2010 5:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Just because you hit on girls at 9
Doesn’t mean they hit puberty at nine
by Fett42 on Apr 5, 2010 5:56 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
Hey there Lieutenant Commander Cheeksasaurus
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 5, 2010 6:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Where's Captain Squackers?
7500 to Holte - American footy fans are slightly unprepared
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Apr 5, 2010 6:34 PM PDT up reply actions
If MLB.tv doesn't work I'm going to be screaming in some poor Bangalorian's ear to the point that they cry
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
Maybe I can get a free subscription for the rest of the season
I’d almost be happy to trade Opening Day for that, but only if they supplemented it with a brand new Cadillac
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
WHY DOES THE STUPID STREAMING BULLSHIT ON THE MAIN TEAM SITES WORK BUT I CAN'T GET ON MLB.TV
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
I will let you rape me if you're prediction comes true.
The only downside is that you’ll have to buy you’re own plane ticket.
M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA
This is an empty offer
How can I rape you if its consensual?
He didn't specify which hole.
...and now I'm here
perfectstrat is going to have imperfecthearing.
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on Apr 5, 2010 6:15 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
By the way, it's really smart to roll out an entirely new website design on the most trafficked day of the season
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
Every goddamn Opening Day it's touch and go like this
Been on the edge of my seat until gametime for the last three years.
ESPN deportes
Calls a homerun very similar to a soccer announcer calling a goal
Stats are not a euphemism for tits
Go butler!
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Apr 5, 2010 6:09 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Always root for the dark jerseys.
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
by thehemogoblin on Apr 5, 2010 6:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Nate Schierholtz!
My Dad knows his Dad- his Dad is a crazy Russian dude who imports potatoes into Russia
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
I miss O'Flaherty just for the simple fact that this gif is hardly ever used anymore.
FUCK ERIC BYRNES FUCK ERIC BYRNES!
Extremely off topic, but I just discovered SBnation's ( next post | last post ) are j and k.
Switching between Vim and Lookout Landing just got super!
Sergio Romo's in for the giants.
Time for the Romosexuals to come on out.
M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA
Indeed
My Mariners blog SodoMojo, My Twitter Feed
by Griffin Cooper on Apr 5, 2010 6:18 PM PDT up reply actions
No one cares about the National League.
...and now I'm here
Kazuo Matsui =/= Scott Kazmir
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
by thehemogoblin on Apr 5, 2010 6:22 PM PDT up reply actions
It's illegal for Major League Baseball to take my money to provide a service and then fail to provide me with said service, right?
I’m completely within grounds to threaten a lawsuit, right?
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
I'll be a witness to your uncontrollable rage caused by the lack of service provision.
M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA
Wait are you saying I legally can go bomb a hospital and blame it on Major League Baseball?
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
Define "legally."
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
by thehemogoblin on Apr 5, 2010 6:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Would I win that case?
Major League Baseball failed to provide me with a service I had paid money for, throwing me into a temporary rage that led to me bombing a hospital, an act of temporary insanity brought on by MLB’s negligence.
Of course, it’s all moot since I just talked about it on the internet beforehand, but hypothetically?
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
This thread can be deleted rather easily.
There’s no need to call your efforts off. LL has friends in high places.
M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA
It kind of sounds like the Heat of Passion defense
Which is more of a mitigating factor as it is not a complete defense to a crime just one that lowers the offense. But no you would not be able to win that case. For one reason, there has to be a causal link between the thing that caused you to become enraged and the act you committed. Since the hospital would not have had any part in causing your rage it would not work. If on the other hand you blew up MLB.TV headquarters…
Stats are not a euphemism for tits
He looks to the 3B coach, shows him the ball, and then pitches.
Amazingly awesome. Go get em Z!
M's fan in the Bay, soon to be LA
Why the hell would I want to visit ESPN new york.
Nuts to that!
The game is unavailable on mlb.tv
What’s this nonsense
Try Farnsworth's direct link above
Worked for me. I just had to switch the game.
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