First Box Score Of The Year

Yeah, bitches. Just littered with star power right here.

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Make note of that HBP, as Ricky Orta owned Cal League product Thomas Neal in the head, sending a message that the Cactus League doesn't have room for two teams with the same whatever the Mariners and Giants have in common. Neal was said to be laughing after the game, but that just means that Orta knocked the silly bits loose.

I've heard of Kenn Kasparek, and he threw forty-seven consecutive balls in the tenth inning before getting pulled. I've never heard of Anthony Vasquez, but he didn't throw forty-seven consecutive balls in the tenth inning, so in conclusion, Anthony Vasquez is better than Kenn Kasparek, who somehow managed to walk infinity times more Giants than Jesus Colome.

Players to appear in both last year's first box score and this year's first box score: Chris Woodward, Chris Seddon, Mike Carp, Matt Tuiasosopo. Spring Training: It Matters!

Seddon, by the way, allowed four runs in two innings in this year's debut, against zero runs in two innings in last year's debut. Based on this two-point trendline, Chris Seddon's career has really gone to hell in a handbasket.

Tim Lincecum pitching to Chone Figgins featured the same total body volume as a normal-sized person standing still.

Ryan Langerhans drew walks in all three of his plate appearances, which is kind of lazy.