So, "Bullpen Conglomeration Guy" needs a name...
by PositivePaul on Mar 17, 2010 11:37 PM PDT
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Being the weirdo that I am, ever since this lovely community has embraced the "Bullpen Conglomeration Guy" in the recent set of Mariners commercials as one of its own, I've been trying to come up with a good name for him. So, of course, when Shields turned his Twitter avatar into "Bullpen Conglomeration Guy" that pushed my brain into full steam. We had a conversation about that very thing...
The natural inclination, of course, is to take some sort of hybrid combination of all of their names. I suppose we could limit the list to those guys who appear in the commercial. Jon came up with "Shavedon Aaloweguitey" which fits this mold. "Chris Shelton" works well enough, too.
But given our past use of the Internet Anagram Server to find (or re-discover) such gems as "Reefer Jaw" (Jeff Weaver) and "Beluga Tits" (Miguel Batista), I had to spend a few minutes brainstorming over there. Working its magic, and my distorted, warped brain, I discovered this:
Barnie Nullsperm
My thinking was - we don't really have the full list of who'll be in the bullpen to start the season, so it has to be something generic. So I used "Mariners Bullpen" as the text to anagram.
Being the community-oriented guy I am, I thought I'd run it by you weirdos. Any other brilliant ideas?
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Using the Anagram generator
I got:
Bellman Spur
Renal Plumbs
Vernalises Merrier
Remarries Sniveler
I do like Barnie Nullsperm, though.
by seattle_since_81 on Mar 17, 2010 11:57 PM PDT reply actions
Just as a side note
When you punch Milton Bradley into the Anagram Generator, the first one on the list is “Rabidly Molten”.
by faceplant_04 on Mar 18, 2010 10:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Labs Impel Runner
Barrels Impel Nun
Bran Unripe Smell
Unbar Ripen Smell
Bra Impeller Nuns
Enabler Limp Runs
Supernal Nimbler
Side note: It came up with 66,667 anagrams. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Now with more lemon bars!
Nebular Sperm Nil
My Mariners blog SodoMojo, My Twitter Feed
by Griffin Cooper on Mar 18, 2010 12:08 AM PDT reply actions
Or Barn Unripe Smell
My Mariners blog SodoMojo, My Twitter Feed
by Griffin Cooper on Mar 18, 2010 12:09 AM PDT up reply actions
Might be one of those names they won't print
by Jeff Sullivan on Mar 18, 2010 12:20 AM PDT up reply actions
Add an apostrophe?
Null’s Perm?
Does the World Series trophy come with a plate of bacon?
by PositivePaul on Mar 18, 2010 12:21 AM PDT up reply actions
Switch the "B" and the "N"
and you’ve got Narnie Bullsperm. Both BULLSPERM and NULLSPERM work at the mlb.com shop customizer — for now at least.
They do have people that check on these things too.
I put in an order for a “Bitchtits” jersey and they canceled it but it worked in the preview thing.
That's the A's, though
Nobody bothers policing A"s jerseys
by wandergeist on Mar 18, 2010 11:38 PM PDT up reply actions
Hahahaha #20!
Does the World Series trophy come with a plate of bacon?
by PositivePaul on Mar 18, 2010 2:00 PM PDT up reply actions
These things were called "spong monkeys."
I can see it now, Rally Monkey versus Spong Monkey.
by Janic on Mar 18, 2010 1:40 AM PDT reply actions 6 recs
I can't get past the fact that 'it' looks like he has hair growing off of his ears.
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Mar 18, 2010 9:29 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Mar 20, 2010 2:09 PM PDT up reply actions
This is Sparta:
Airship Stats
Saith Rapists
Harass Spit It
Apart Hits Sis
Ha Rapists Sit
Ha Strait Piss
Hair Saps Tits
Hair Tats Piss
Phat Stair Sis
Rash Pitas Sit
Trash Pita Sis
Has Pairs Tits
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Mar 18, 2010 7:48 AM PDT reply actions
I think someone with Photo Shop skills needs to add the Spartan Helmet.
Racer X. You have to love those amarillo hops.
p.s. fuck you angels
WOW.
What was his name?
Racer X. You have to love those amarillo hops.
p.s. fuck you angels
Damn...
I thought it might be “Sloth”
Does the World Series trophy come with a plate of bacon?
by PositivePaul on Mar 18, 2010 8:00 PM PDT up reply actions
:-)
It does seem to fit.
Does the World Series trophy come with a plate of bacon?
by PositivePaul on Mar 18, 2010 1:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Being an anagram of "Mariners Bullpen"...
…(rather than particular names) means it will always work, which is useful in constructions like “If the starter can’t go five innings and the M’s have to rely on a Barnie Nullsperm or two to get them to the 9th…”
Nullsperm is the single most impotent sounding word that could ever be created.
And looking at that picture, god knows he’d be impotent too.
Let's hope so...
Does the World Series trophy come with a plate of bacon?
by PositivePaul on Mar 18, 2010 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Tap it, sure
Then run the other direction before it had a chance to get its claws into you. I’m pretty sure it has a penis bone. Like a whale.
~I once gave Jose Canseco $15. ~
by section331 on Mar 18, 2010 8:24 PM PDT up reply actions 12 recs
If there isn't, there ought to be a big line around getting whale boned by Barney Nullsperm.
My brain keeps switching back and forth between a Robert color crayon drawing and a Scruffy gif. After the red rocket and Griffey(?) on a cross drawing, the imaginary Robert drawing might be the worse of the two.
Well, this is obviously Corco's deal
The heart wants what it wants.
~I once gave Jose Canseco $15. ~
Wow.
There’s crossing a line, and then there’s that. You disco’d over it.
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
You earned that rec.
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
Conglomeration Guy:
Mean Country Gigolo
Anymore C*nt Gigolo
Neurotic Googly Man
Granny Cootie Mogul
Unmanly Cootie Grog
Outgoing Male Crony
Ole Maggoty Unicorn
Uncool Teaming Orgy
Earl "[the] Ermine Rivers
Using Mariner Relievers. ’Cause emines have hairy ears, too.
Oh Lord, two errors in my first post
Make that Earl ’[the] Ermine" Rivers, because ermines have hairy ears
I'm totally on board with Barnie Nullsperm.
Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?
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