No
by Jeff Sullivan on Mar 17, 2010 8:56 AM PDT
in Miscellaneous
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PrintThe Mariners should not sign Elijah Dukes.
57 comments
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4 recs |
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But think of the possibilities!
With Dukes and Bradley on the same team, no pitcher would ever throw at a Mariner intentionally (and live).
They'd be the new Bash Brothers!
Mighty Ducks 2 style, not A’s style.
by Limerickx on Mar 17, 2010 9:33 AM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
Does that mean that
Scene
ALCS: Jack Wilson colllides with Jorge Posada, jarring the ball loose and scoring. E. Dukes and M. Bradley engage him in a three way high five.
Announcer: "What’s this? A third bash brother? "
hilarity ensues, Emilio Estevez gets the girl, and his brother gets a gravy boat of cocaine.
by Ballard Erik on Mar 17, 2010 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions
3.8 Speed Score Last year
4.6 his 3 seasons
by Alexander Calloway on Mar 17, 2010 9:55 AM PDT up reply actions
I first read this as Eliza Dushku
Not sure why.
Racer X. You have to love those amarillo hops.
p.s. fuck you angels
If it were Eliza Dushku, Jeff's post would have been titled "Yes"
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Mar 17, 2010 10:03 AM PDT up reply actions 6 recs
This is a no brainer.
If you thought Griffey was a good influence….
by seattlesundevil on Mar 17, 2010 10:04 AM PDT up reply actions
I don't think Jeff would want her around the likes of RR-S, Mark Lowe, Brandon League or Rob Johnson.
Also it was just a first read thing.
Racer X. You have to love those amarillo hops.
p.s. fuck you angels
I can't imagine Rob Johnson has much game.
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Mar 17, 2010 10:14 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Those are guys you have to watch out for. They're all, you look cold can I bring a blanket.
Racer X. You have to love those amarillo hops.
p.s. fuck you angels
by InSpokane on Mar 17, 2010 10:16 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
This reminds me of Achewood so much.
It’s like something Roast Beef would say. Therefore, you get a rec.
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Mar 17, 2010 10:21 AM PDT up reply actions
R Johnson...doesn't need game.
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
by Rich Langford on Mar 17, 2010 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions
This team needs to trade for/sign all the assholes in the league,
have Griffey and Ichiro tickle them into a 120-130 OPS+, then once the league sees something good in the players, trade them for way more than what they’re worth, and rinse/repeat the cycle.
They’ll never lose!
He's been a league-average player with injury, attitude, and development issues
He has a place, but it’s not on a team that intends to contend in 2010 and already has too many outfielders as is.
by Jeff Sullivan on Mar 17, 2010 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions
Because Washington State can't afford that many unmarried mothers?
Though maybe some of them will contribute to another glut of outfielders twenty years from now.
Maybe not a perfect fit for Seattle because they already have so many LF/DH options
But he’s way too talented to be written off because of his past. Nobody is even sure why the Nationals released him, and this is a guy who was worth 2.8 WAR in only 81 games with Washington in 2008.
Yeah, he’s probably not a ~6 WAR outfielder, but you don’t play that well for a half-season by accident. Somebody’s gotta give him a shot.
I like baseball.
I write for Beyond the Box Score and The Hardball Times Fantasy
He definitely belongs somewhere
Seattle just isn’t it. Righty? Injury-prone? Defensively mediocre? Not nearly enough upside over the current crop to justify the risk.
by Jeff Sullivan on Mar 17, 2010 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions
Blanks, Hairston, Gwynn, Venable, Cunningham
They’re booked.
by Jeff Sullivan on Mar 17, 2010 11:01 AM PDT up reply actions
I guess he could sign a minor league contract
but uh there are better options.
by Jeff Sullivan on Mar 17, 2010 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions
And nails it
But you know what? Dukes turns 26 this summer. In roughly two seasons of plate appearances, he’s been slightly better than (National League) average as a hitter, but slightly below average for a corner outfielder. His defense seems to be getting worse. His baserunning cost the Nationals roughly 10 runs last season.
BUT I WANT HIM. I need this in my life.
Hey, dawg. It’s on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain’t even bulls———-. Your kids too, dawg. It don’t even matter to me who is in the car with you. N——-, all I know is, n——-, when I see your m——-f———- a— riding, dawg, it’s on. As a matter of fact, I’m coming to your m——-f——— house.
Yo Dawg, we heard you like threats...
So we put some additional threats in your threats so you can intimidate while you intimidate
Stats are not a euphemism for tits
I think we should start calling him Elijah David Dukes
by Poochie on Mar 17, 2010 11:08 AM PDT via mobile reply actions 2 recs
Elijah Daisy Dukes and see how long until he kills you.
by abender20 on Mar 17, 2010 11:24 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
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