Levale Speigner!
by Jeff Sullivan on Feb 3, 2010 9:28 PM PST
in Seattle Mariners Transactions
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PrintIf I were Tommy Everidge I'd probably be getting pretty pissed off right about now. Turns out the Mariners added Levale Speigner a few weeks ago and invited him to Spring Training. I am writing about this because Matthew told me to. Have we brought in a #3 starter yet?
Over 48 Major League innings, Speigner has amassed a K/BB of 0.7 and a 9.19 ERA, which is only 400% higher than the best ERA of all time. The righty reliever has a fastball in the 89-91 range and relies heavily on a slider, and when you hear about a righty reliever with a mediocre fastball and a slider, your first thought should always be 'groundball guy'. Sure enough, Speigner sat at 60% last year between AA/AAA, and has hovered around the mid-50s for his career.
To be perfectly honest, I was somewhat interested in this until I found out that 'Speigner' doesn't rhyme with 'beignet'. If I have to spend my Wednesday night thinking about Levale Speigner or a beignet, I'm gonna go with the beignet. Here is a picture of a beignet:
Do you guys like beignets? I like beignets. Oh, the adventures I have had, with beignets.
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It made more sense to me when I went French the whole way. Leh-VAHL SPEN-yay.
Then Jeff burst that bubble. Now I’m just confused.
So what is it? SPAY-ner?
For some reason I can always nail a Polish pronunciation, but nothing else.
EE-ther uhv them
Rooting for lovable losers since 1984.
by seattlecougar on Feb 4, 2010 9:27 AM PST up reply actions
I don't know if any beignets have ever...
outpitched Johan Santana?
But, I wouldn’t be too surprised if one had.
I have made beignet!
A friend of mine, his parents ran a donut shop, so he learned how to make such fried goods and had a party at his house in which beignets were made. When it started, he was doing all of them himself, but I took over out of curiosity. The results were delicious.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
Making beignets is one of my favorite Sunday morning activities
by Jeff Sullivan on Feb 3, 2010 9:41 PM PST up reply actions
Early next week!
But let’s stay on topic. You’ve got your pick of Speigner and beignets.
by Jeff Sullivan on Feb 3, 2010 9:44 PM PST up reply actions
I am staying on topic.
beignets on sunday in Portland are a lot closer than they are in SoCal.
by msb on Feb 3, 2010 9:55 PM PST up reply actions
I've never tried making a Speigner
or any other human… Virginity is depressing (and this is my first comment on this website— way to go).
I'd sleep at the Internet, but I've found servers don't make for good pillows.
by thehemogoblin on Feb 4, 2010 2:21 AM PST up reply actions 4 recs
You are going to fit right in.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Feb 4, 2010 9:33 AM PST up reply actions
Dude owned the Puerto Rican league this winter. 7-0!
Nobody could touch him, except for the lucky three who homered off of him (he was probably pitching to the score, which is what Winners do). 2.34 GB ratio on the island! He’s like a skinnier, de-Polynesianed Kanekoa Texeira!
Damn that looks good
never had one; will change that soon.
by stupidquestions on Feb 3, 2010 10:16 PM PST reply actions
I have never heard of a beignets.
Clearly I am too gauche for this site. Sorry for classin’ the joint down.
Your beignet adventures sound a little too awesome
You know you are suppose to put powdered sugar on top and not coke right?
You know...
One of my wife’s romance novels involved some sort of vampire/werewolf/viking creature who was really into beignets.
So either you’re some sort of killing machine that every woman wants to fuck before being bled to death, or you’ve read too many romance novels. Like I have, unfortunately.
Sure it's not because you repeat yourself?
Repeat yourself?
Bird Law in this country isn't governed by reason.
by Tyler Jorgensen on Feb 4, 2010 2:03 AM PST up reply actions
Sorry
The site was having some kind of problem, or my browser was. I had a couple of posts not go through (the Sunday Brunch one I posted twice, but it only showed up once). Meanwhile this one I only posted once, but it showed up again when I started replying to another comment, which is I think how it got duped (even though I thought I had cancelled out of it the second time).
But wanting to not repeat myself actually is another reason why I’m not married. After a certain amount of time with the same person you find yourself repeating the same anecdotes, which is annoying and loathsome. So: time to move on.
Why have you read her crappy books?
Chose your own crappy books, right?
Bird Law in this country isn't governed by reason.
by Tyler Jorgensen on Feb 4, 2010 2:03 AM PST up reply actions
Who needs to read 'em?
My mother tells us about the ones she reads… .whether we want to know or not…
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Feb 4, 2010 2:56 AM PST up reply actions
There's a world of shitty Star Wars novels out there to be embarrassed about owning!
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
by JAH on Feb 4, 2010 4:41 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Inconsequential signings always make for the best writing.
...and now I'm here
That looks like something Anthony Bourdain would call you a hamfisted butcher for screwing up while cooking in his kitchen.
Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.
Why not both?
Have you ever had dessert after breakfast, it works for every other meal, why not breakfast?
Beignets are so delicious ohmygodIwanttomakelovetothem.
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Feb 4, 2010 7:14 AM PST reply actions
Let them cool if they're just out of the fryer
I made that mistake once, and now people look at me funny when I stand sideways at urinals.
Rooting for lovable losers since 1984.
by seattlecougar on Feb 4, 2010 9:30 AM PST up reply actions
I'm going to go have beignets today at this place, with some friends...
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Seattle-WA/Toulouse-Petit-Kitchen-Lounge/196394873249
Along with some $6 Eggs Benedict. Or maybe the Crawfish Etouffeé. Beats the hell out of Moons Over My Hammy.
by eponymous_coward on Feb 4, 2010 7:18 AM PST reply actions
You have not truly had beignets until
you have staggered over to Cafe Dumonde on Decatur Street in New Orleans wasted off your ass from partying on Burbon St all night. The worst coffee you’ve ever tasted combined with the best sweetness you’ve ever had.
by bilbo on Feb 4, 2010 8:34 AM PST reply actions 2 recs
True.
This post made me want to hop on the next plane to New Orleans.
The coffee there is love-it-or-hate-it… I take it you’re not a fan of the chicory they use in it?
Rooting for lovable losers since 1984.
by seattlecougar on Feb 4, 2010 9:29 AM PST up reply actions
Heresy.
Chicory coffee can be quite delicious, or has been every time I’ve had it.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Feb 4, 2010 9:34 AM PST up reply actions
I'm a fan as well
But it’s a contentious flavor. Not everyone enjoys it.
Rooting for lovable losers since 1984.
by seattlecougar on Feb 4, 2010 10:06 AM PST up reply actions
It's actually not terrible
but is probably closer to jet fuel in taste than a normal drip coffee. At 7 a.m. after being out all night it is actually perfect.
My elders' memories of "the dirty 30s"
Were punctuated by Chicory coffee, which they had to drink because coffee beans were unavailable (or so expensive they might as well have been). “One good thing about the War, we started drinking decent coffee again”
This is absolutely true, but I wasn't wasted. But the coffee was still bad.
I fucking hate you Mariners
Clearly you're not getting the right coffee.
Chicory cafe au lait is pretty damn good.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Feb 4, 2010 10:40 AM PST up reply actions
It has to do with Jeff not yet posting about him.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Feb 4, 2010 10:11 AM PST up reply actions
This is the internet.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Feb 4, 2010 10:47 AM PST up reply actions
Hmm Memories...
The best experience I ever had with a Beignet is when I was in New Orleans after the hurricane and me and my team went to Borbon Street and had a Beignet at one of the most famous Beignet shops in New Orleans. I bought postcards and coffee and a good time was had by all.
My best experience with Levale Speigner was waking up this morning and reading this post.
Thank you Jeff for reigniting my passion for Levale Speigner and Beignets.
I remember so many adventures I had on Borbon St
Party central, Borbon St. Although something always seemed off.
by Jeff Sullivan on Feb 4, 2010 10:11 AM PST up reply actions 8 recs
I will like this guy because his first name is awesomely close to my middle name
I don’t ever see anything close to my middle name in the real world, so this is great. I will pronounce it LUH-VAL SPIG-NER
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
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