2010 Seattle Mariners Top Ten Unremarkable Moments: #1
October 1
Headed down the final stretch of the 2010 season, there wasn't a whole lot to play for. Not that there's ever a whole lot to play for when you're as bad as the Mariners, but at least in 2008, there was the potential for Stephen Strasburg. Two years ago, the Mariners entered the final weekend with the worst record in baseball and a Hall of Fame talent waiting on the other side. In 2010, there was no such talent, and besides, as terrible as the Mariners were, they couldn't keep up with the Pirates anyway. The Pirates had the top pick all but secured weeks in advance, and the M's were battling for pick #2 in a deep and not topheavy draft.
What the Mariners did have going for them, if nothing else, was a group of young reinforcements from Tacoma. Justin Smoak got some action. Matt Mangini got some action. Dan Cortes, Anthony Varvaro, and Greg Halman got some action. The M's were still putting out a lousy product, but it was at least a slightly different lousy product than it had been for much of the season before. That was something.
But it wasn't enough to keep people interested. None of the young guys were potential future superstars, and while Michael Pineda was up with the team, he was inactive, simply watching and soaking it all in from the dugout. Over the last week, and certainly after Felix's final appearance on September 28th, the only real reason to stay tuned in was a sense of obligation. That, hey, you'd made it that far, so you might as well try to ride it out.
Following Felix's last start, the M's dropped the series finale to Texas, and prepared for the last series of the year - a four-game home set against the A's. They'd kick off that set with an 8-1 loss that saw Doug Fister get shelled while Gio Gonzalez spun seven shutout innings. That brought us to Friday, October 1st, where Trevor Cahill went up against Luke French.
And Cahill, naturally, was effective, keeping the M's off the board while the A's racked up the runs against French with a mammoth second inning. After taking a 1-0 lead in the first, the A's left the second up 7-0, with the big blow being a grand slam by Daric Barton. They'd add another run in the fourth, and for the second night in a row, the Mariners found themselves on the pointy end of a humiliating blowout.
It was an eight-run game in the top of the fifth, when Kurt Suzuki led off with a fly out to right. That brought Kevin Kouzmanoff to the plate with one out and none on, and it was then that the Mariners had their most unremarkable moment of the 2010 season. After Kouzmanoff lined the ball to Matt Mangini at third, Mangini threw the ball around the horn, and blinked.
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Not really . . .
there were many moments this season which were more unremarkable, as is proven by the fact that we’ve all forgotten about them.
by The Ancient Mariner on Nov 29, 2010 7:33 PM PST up reply actions
Good point.
Because I absolutely remembered this moment. My buddy and I were at the bar one day, and I said “hey, remember that time that Matt Mangini blinked? That was a totally unremarkable moment” ergo it couldn’t have been as unremarkable as other unremarkable moments, since I remembered it so thoroughly, despite it’s lack of remarkness.
Your comment is the weirdest comment ever.
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on Nov 29, 2010 7:57 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Amazingly pretty close to what I expected based on timing and talent of the event.
I was thinking the late innings of the final game of the season featuring Mangini or Halman.
I don’t know what that says about me but what a wonderful series!
I imagine the trophy for winning this award is a small square of beige fabric
and the award ceremony takes place at a knitting convention in a convent.
The ceremony takes place on a busy street corner
The winner is nodded at by a familiar-looking stranger.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors
by JY on Nov 29, 2010 5:03 PM PST up reply actions 13 recs
What was the grading criteria for these rankings?
I find myself confused. And a little winded.
Love the game, love the beer, love your team.
I would say this series was magnificant,
but that would be the furthest thing from the truth.
Remarkable
Logically this moment must be removed from the list, being that it is the zenith of unremarkability and is thus quite remarkable. Moment #2 then moves up to the top of the list and becomes the most unremarkable moment of the season, but then being that it is now remarkable as the most unremarkable moment, it must also be removed. And so on and so forth. Ergo we can logically conclude that Jose Lopez is still terrible.
by Transient Gadfly on Nov 29, 2010 4:21 PM PST reply actions 10 recs
This is good logic.
But note: Your point—that this moment is both remarkable and not remarkable—entails that Jose Lopez is still terrible because your basic point is contradictory. However, since a contradiction can be used to derive any well-formed formula (in classical logic), we may also conclude that Jose Lopez is the greatest possible ballplayer, or whatever.
Proof: Let a contradiction be of the form p & ~p. Then for any substitution instance of p & ~p, one can prove that q, where q is any well-formed formula using the following chain of rules of inference:
1. p & ~p [assumption]
2. p [1 &-elimination]
3. p v q [2 v-introduction]
4. ~p [1 &-elimination]
5. q [3, 4 sequent introduction: disjunctive syllogism]
Congratulations, Jeff, on creating what might be the greatest series of posts on the Internet.
...and now I'm here
Well #10 involved actual action whereas this one was literally just a player blinking, barely noticeably.
You could argue I suppose that barely seeing a ball boy in #2 was less remarkable than this but I’d say the remarkability went down quickly as we went along.
by Mariner John on Nov 29, 2010 10:09 PM PST up reply actions
A person blinks much more often than a ball boy will make trips to the plate
Thus, an individual blink is much more unremarkable than that
by tootthekazoo on Nov 30, 2010 8:56 AM PST up reply actions
Never before
have so few done so much for so many – with so very little to work with.
Just picture Randichiro.
by fiftyone on Nov 29, 2010 9:24 PM PST via mobile reply actions
I wish
my first comment on LL could be as remarkable as this moment wasn’t.
by Jiri on Nov 29, 2010 11:22 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
I thought
it was going to be a sunflower seed spit, a bubble gum chew or a crotch grab. I guess that would have been TOO much action! Great job Jeff!!! Hopefully the off season will be more exciting.
PBA wannabe!! Keep Michael Saunders in left!!! Russel Okung is my new man crush!!
by seanchristopher on Nov 30, 2010 12:19 AM PST reply actions
Great post
I was trying to figure things out while on a conference call. My boss asked me a question but I was too engrossed in trying to figure out the point of the article, I just told him I didn’t know what I was doing. It was true because I had no idea what he asked me. Anyhow, I finally figured it out.
That was anticlimatic
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
by Corco on Nov 30, 2010 9:28 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
This was my guess, I voted for this one
The sparse crowd is not even paying attention. The girl standing up turns around to eye the garlic fries after a failed advance from the Microsoft employee who was given free tickets that night.
Even the Fidelity sign disappears out of the frame.
The three squares sitting next to each other in the stands with all those empty seats beside them are the only remarkable thing happening but alas, is not a factor in overall voting.
Mangini does a great job with his sideburns though and it was probably more accepted in Seattle rather than Tacoma. The pussy in Seattle is a bit more high maintenance and likes that kind of shit.
Jeeezus people
Stop remarking on it.
Try not to take me too seriously
by calim on Nov 30, 2010 7:54 PM PST reply actions 1 recs

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