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Eric Wedge It Is

There's no official confirmation on this just yet, since it's playoff time and Bud Selig doesn't like to see non-playoff teams in the news while playoff teams are playing, but by reports all over Twitter and elsewhere, the Mariners have decided to hire Eric Wedge to take over in the dugout. Wedge wins out over Bobby Valentine and the other four guys you won't be able to remember three years from now.

It's fitting that Wedge is the guy. Since the Zduriencik front office took over in Seattle, Indians fans have been telling us how many parallels there are between the two organizations. In a lot of ways, the Indians were the new Mariners before the new Mariners. They had a sharp front office that blended excellent scouting with advanced statistical analysis. They were said to be among the best-run organizations in baseball, a team in good hands that should be able to compete year after year for quite some time. And then they enjoyed only moderate success while cracks began to form and the team greatly underachieved. All along, everybody figured the Indians had the right process, but they struggled to get the results.

The Indians from earlier in the decade were a lot like the Mariners from later in the decade. And now the Mariners have hired the Indians' old manager.

As we've been writing throughout this entire interview and hiring process, we can't say whether this is a good move or not, and no amount of research will reveal the answer. Wedge, obviously, has some very good qualities. He also has some bad ones, and things certainly didn't end up very good for him in Cleveland. The trouble is that a manager's primary responsibilities concern things like morale and accountability and communication. These all fall under the broader term of "chemistry," and as the entire 2010 season just proved to us, you can't predict how chemistry is going to work out.

It's quite different from actual laboratory chemistry when you think about it. In the lab, you can mix a bunch of known compounds and end up with a known product (and several side products in appropriate molar ratios). In the clubhouse, you can mix a bunch of known compounds, but you have no idea ahead of time how it's going to work. The Mariners, I assume, have a pretty good understanding of who Eric Wedge is. They also have a pretty good understanding of who their players are. But you just don't know how they'll come together. One wrong statement can spoil a relationship. We saw this with Wakamatsu and the whole Griffey ordeal. Through the simple action of benching Griffey without properly communicating the message, Wak lost the entire team. Those things can happen, and you can't see them coming.

From here, Wedge seems to be a fine choice. He's managed teams like this - teams that are at least pseudo-rebuilding, with a blend of experienced veterans and wide-eyed little kids. A number of former players seemed to like him, and those that didn't like him at least respected him. Wedge has been a good communicator. Wedge has been a leader without being an overmanager. Wedge has been respectful and protective of his players, and his players have been respectful and protective of him back. Wedge's track record is encouraging. It's just - again, it comes down to what we can't predict. Every Mariners player in 2009 would've said good things about Wak. It's funny how moods change when things go sour.

A lot will be made of the fact that former Indian Milton Bradley once walked around the clubhouse wearing a shirt that said "fuck Eric Wedge". It's definitely weird, and a funny if unsettling story. But Milton Bradley last played for Eric Wedge in March 2004. It's been six and a half years. Bradley was a young player who hadn't yet turned 25. Wedge was about to begin only his second season managing. People change. Who were you six and a half years ago? Who were you when you were 24? Who were you when you were 30? People mellow out. They become more understanding. They become more forgiving, and less sensitive. It's possible that Milton Bradley may still hate Eric Wedge. But six and a half years ago, I hated grapefruit. Now I have one every morning.

Additionally, it ultimately doesn't really matter what Milton Bradley thinks anyway since Milton Bradley isn't a part of the future, while Wedge, ideally, is.

So this is the guy. The Mariners have been managed by the guy who argued to cancel the snow game, and the Mariners will now be managed by the guy who argued to keep playing. It's exciting to have a new hire. Even a new hire as seemingly bland as Wedge, at least when compared to Bobby Valentine. That excitement will die down after a while, and once the season's underway, most everyone's feelings for Wedge should settle somewhere around "mild dislike". He'll bat players where you don't want him to bat players. He might call for too many bunts or hit-and-runs or bad sinkerballers out of the bullpen. Eric Wedge is no sabermetric hero. He'll have his annoying managerial ticks, just like they always do.

But the true test of how good a manager he is - that won't be quite so visible. We'll only know if Wedge was the right guy when the season's nearly over. And even then, we won't know if he's the right guy for 2012. Everything changes. Everything is hard to predict.

Hopefully Eric Wedge pans out. Hopefully, he sticks.

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Obviously

No one has read this yet:

http://www.letsgotribe.com/2010/10/14/1751918/eric-wedge-a-very-convincing-guy

Actually, I’m really surprised. I thought for sure Bobby Valentine was the lead for the job out there. With his ties to the Japanese league, your Japanese ownership and big star I figured he’d be perfect. Well, good luck with Wedge—at least you’re taking him off the market and making the Cubs’ decision making process a little easier while your at it.

"There is no tomorrow for you, and that makes you very dangerous people."--Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman) The Replacements

Time is an illusion--lunch time doubly so.

by snowyman28 on Oct 15, 2010 3:17 PM PDT reply actions  

Incorrect.

You had already read it.

by Sec 108 on Oct 15, 2010 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Wedge sort of looks like the blobfish in that one.

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors

by JY on Oct 15, 2010 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

You.

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 3:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

At the press conference.

“Excuse me, mind if I Wedge in here and ask the new manager a quick question?”

Does this qualify?

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm apparently not exactly clear on the definition of "pun" then.

Of course English is my second language.

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

A pun is a humorous play on words

Using a last name as an action word isn’t strictly a pun, I don’t think

by pdb on Oct 15, 2010 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

Seems to me like it fits.

Otherwise you’d have to say “look at Eric over in the corner”.

Then the next person says: “Yeah, it’s almost like he’s wedged in there”.

Pun, right?

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

Bitch...

Then I seriously don’t know how to make a pun.

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

I get how it sounds.

I just don’t get how using the name of some islands in the Caribbean makes this a pun.

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

Puns require that the word in question sound like, but not exactly be, the phrase replaced.

Kermit uses Antilles to replace “until he’s”.
You, or anyone, using Wedge to replace “wedge” is not a pun.

by Matthew on Oct 15, 2010 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

"Puns require that the word in question sound like, but not exactly be, the phrase replaced."

Okay, now I understand. Thank you Matthew.

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

Except he's wrong.

A pun is pretty much any play on words. You were right.

by Liebkartoffel on Oct 15, 2010 6:14 PM PDT up reply actions   5 recs

This is correct.

Homonymic puns are puns that the same word has different meanings, in this case the word Wedge when referring to Eric Wedge, and a wedge.

...and now I'm here

by CapSea on Oct 15, 2010 6:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

As long as you consider it

as a play on the two meanings of Wedge—one being “something that serves to part, split, divide, etc” and the other being “a middle aged man who is overpayed for making largely incorrect calls.”—then it works out.

by Liebkartoffel on Oct 15, 2010 6:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Nope.

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors

by JY on Oct 15, 2010 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

A pun is using words that sound like other words to make a joke.

So something like, “Immanuel doesn’t pun, he Kant”, has Immanuel Kant’s last name, “Kant” punned against the word “can’t”.

Or “You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.” Tune a and tuna are punned.

Or “Why do we still have troops in Germany? Answer: To keep the Russians in Czech” puns the word Czech and check.

Morgan Ensberg for Manager 2011!
AL Scout on Rendon: "I would peg him as a poor man's Jose Lopez."

by joof on Oct 15, 2010 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

"You must be from France, because you're a peein'."

Pun?

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yes.

Morgan Ensberg for Manager 2011!
AL Scout on Rendon: "I would peg him as a poor man's Jose Lopez."

by joof on Oct 15, 2010 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Also, "Fister? I hardly know'er!"

Morgan Ensberg for Manager 2011!
AL Scout on Rendon: "I would peg him as a poor man's Jose Lopez."

by joof on Oct 15, 2010 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Not quite.

Fister is substituting for “fist her.” But, by a simple textbook definition of puns, both qualify. I just don’t have the energy (or the interest, because really, who cares?) to mount a literary argument against the misunderstanding.

Both are wordplay. Leave it at that.

by harkening on Oct 15, 2010 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

Matthew clarified everything a little higher up.

I’m done.

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

I just realized I don't remember what this joke is originally.

Morgan Ensberg for Manager 2011!
AL Scout on Rendon: "I would peg him as a poor man's Jose Lopez."

by joof on Oct 15, 2010 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

After some googling, it turns out the answer is "Poker"

Morgan Ensberg for Manager 2011!
AL Scout on Rendon: "I would peg him as a poor man's Jose Lopez."

by joof on Oct 15, 2010 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

Nope.

Pun is a broader category than you think it is.

by Liebkartoffel on Oct 15, 2010 6:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

I tried to take one from every category of pun on wikipedia!

There were thousands of them!

Morgan Ensberg for Manager 2011!
AL Scout on Rendon: "I would peg him as a poor man's Jose Lopez."

by joof on Oct 15, 2010 7:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

I don't know where the idea that puns can't be based on homophonic/homographic words came from...

but my soon-to-be completed degree in English literature would beg to differ. Puns can be double entendres if and only if they are intentionally so.

by harkening on Oct 15, 2010 4:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

This is why I'm confused.

I’m not an English major, and I don’t recall ever studying puns, but I’ve always thought puns could be simply using the word or name as part of the joke. Although I admit I don’t know if that fits the textbook definition.

"You are the John Stockton of sex jokes" Sec 108

by Thingray on Oct 15, 2010 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

I don't give a shit what your degree says

but in the interest of semantics, let me offer this olive branch:, they can be technically puns.

What they are never, is funny.

by Matthew on Oct 15, 2010 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

Coming back to this,

I apologize if this came across as degrading of your point. I meant it in a jocular tone.

by Matthew on Oct 16, 2010 1:00 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

You don't think

double entendres are funny? You must hate nearly all British humor, then.

by Liebkartoffel on Oct 15, 2010 6:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

M's get a Wedgie?

ehhh? ehhhhhh?? Last year we got Wak-ed, next year we get a Wedgie, it pretty much describes being a Seattle sports fan.

by dundundun on Oct 18, 2010 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

And now I know more about puns than I ever wanted to.

EducationaLL

"Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback."

by the other side on Oct 15, 2010 6:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

"But six and a half years ago, I hated grapefruit. Now I have one every morning."

OH GOD MILTON BRADLEY IS GOING TO EAT ERIC WEDGE FOR BREAKFAST

by Eyebrows on Oct 15, 2010 3:26 PM PDT via mobile reply actions  

Fuck him then eat him?

When did Milton turn into a preying mantis?

by Sec 108 on Oct 15, 2010 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

As previously pointed out

“Fuck Eric Wedge” is a suggestion/command, as opposed to “I fuck Eric Wedge”. Get it right! This shit is real now!

by lemonverbena on Oct 15, 2010 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

Shorry wha wazz dat?

Fruffing uff Ewic wight naw.

by Sec 108 on Oct 15, 2010 3:43 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Hmmm?

Morgan Ensberg for Manager 2011!
AL Scout on Rendon: "I would peg him as a poor man's Jose Lopez."

by joof on Oct 15, 2010 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions   5 recs

710 just had one of the Indians announcers on

he claims Shapiro fought the Wedge firing, and that it came from ownership, who wanted an excuse after the firesale.

by msb on Oct 15, 2010 3:32 PM PDT reply actions  

Shapiro ♥s Wedge.

(♥s sounds like hearts but IS NOT EXACTLY the same. PUN!)

Adam Miller is healthier than Stephen Strasburg.

by westbrook on Oct 15, 2010 5:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

When should I start up my righteous indignation...or rapturous glee?

I’m so confused as to how the internet wants me to react to this news.

by pdb on Oct 15, 2010 3:34 PM PDT reply actions  

That's why I'm not participating

Indifference (and neutrality) make the world go circles

"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good and let me be judged accordingly. The rest is silence." ~ Dinobot

by beastwarking on Oct 15, 2010 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

... No I'm not?

"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good and let me be judged accordingly. The rest is silence." ~ Dinobot

by beastwarking on Oct 15, 2010 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

Could that really be considered participation though?

If it is; yay, participation points

"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good and let me be judged accordingly. The rest is silence." ~ Dinobot

by beastwarking on Oct 15, 2010 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

You'd think in the age of twitter they'd at least be able to tell us that in <140 characters.

Take out the analysis, I just need to know how pissed I need to be.

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett Mariners Minors

by JY on Oct 15, 2010 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hey I would buy one

and I don’t know a thing about the guy. It’d just be a good conversation starter for other Mariner fans.

by Ence on Oct 15, 2010 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Easier to put on a shirt than:

“I will take Eric Wedge out for a nice seafood dinner, and not call him!”

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Oct 15, 2010 3:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

Heh.

I am amazed how many fans of how many teams want fiery.

by msb on Oct 15, 2010 3:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

That's because fiery is fun to watch, even if the manager is retarded

The 2010 Seattle Mariners were approximately the most boring team in baseball less Felix, so for me the number one way I will judge any move we make is “Does this make the team more fun to watch?” especially if we don’t know if the move helps us win games or not.

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on Oct 15, 2010 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

That may infact depend on ones escalatory scale of emotions to determine when exactly fiery has been met.

Then again it might also be derived from which Yuni he intends to wear opening day.

"It's a light bat"

by DHforHOF on Oct 16, 2010 2:00 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Bwahahaha.

Excellent.

Morgan Ensberg for Manager 2011!
AL Scout on Rendon: "I would peg him as a poor man's Jose Lopez."

by joof on Oct 15, 2010 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oh Eric poor Eric

better men than you have been broken by these Ms. Good luck, kid.

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Oct 15, 2010 4:06 PM PDT reply actions  

I think

the first time Milton meets with Wedge he should wear the “Fuck Eric Wedge” shirt. If they have both grown up, it should be a great ice breaker. Hell, Bradley may get fired up if Wedge laughs and have the Bradley season we were hoping for last season.

I love the Red 2 reference.

Game situation next year:

Wedge: “Milton, you need to get a hit here, even if the guy is throwing 102!!”
Bradley: “the ball is so small coming in at that speed skip!!”
Wedge: “It’s no bigger than the Womp Rats you were knockin’ outta the park during Spring Training!!”

I’m sorry, this is lame, but I had to do it.

by seanchristopher on Oct 15, 2010 10:58 PM PDT reply actions  

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