Workout day. I run back in from the field to get sunglasses. Locker room completely empty except Ichiro stretching on the floor and his translator sitting on the chair beside him. Sow we make small talk, and I ask him where he lives in Seattle because I lived in the suburbs.

Well, I had barely got the last word out when Ichiro says something in Japanse. Then his translator turns to me, deadpanned and straight-faced and says, "I’m going to mess with your house." The way he said it was malicious, and Ichiro is on the floor dying laughing like it was the funniest thing ever. I was just like, "OK, I’ll see you guys out there." I didn’t know what to say. It was weird.

--Jason Bay, "Two Days I'll Never Forget"