55-51, Game Summary

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 4, 2009 9:36 PM PDT in Seattle Mariners Game Recaps

I hate sloppy nine-inning games that take way longer than they ought to, so in protest here's my quick but descriptive summary in 50 words or less.

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Ichiro (7) RRS? uh oh RRS :( Beltre too shoulder OK? Lopez is all right Griffey death rattle Yuni hustle Yuni heads-up wizzle wozzle Branyan BABIP double Gordon/Butler no Web Gem why now Yuni why us Branyan BABIP single D’ohjima Aardsma? Aardsma?? ICHIRO!

Tweet Comment 79 comments | 5 recs |

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Comments

Well Done

short succinct descriptive compact efficient myomy

by bumkus on Aug 4, 2009 9:43 PM PDT reply actions

I wish the game was one-fourth as pithy as you.

by SethGrandpa on Aug 4, 2009 9:47 PM PDT reply actions

Sounds like the average Twitter update.

Someone remind me why that site is suddenly all the rage? Status updates are nothing new.

"Part, fools!
Put up your swords. You know not what you do."

by Fearless Frog on Aug 4, 2009 9:49 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

Brilliant!

by Coach Owens on Aug 4, 2009 9:49 PM PDT reply actions

I can't think of a better way to summarize this game with less than 50 words.

by Sinking Away on Aug 4, 2009 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions

I like d'ohjima

F*** Billy Beane... actually, I kinda like Holliday

by vivaelpujols on Aug 4, 2009 10:08 PM PDT reply actions

I LOVE D'OHJIMA!

If you’re gonna do it, do it right.

Batting .357/.571/.500 in 6 games for PSSBL Rocky Diablos 2009

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Aug 4, 2009 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions

It's funny and all, but not very informative. What's wrong with RRS?

I missed the first half of the game. I assumed he just had a mediocre game (maybe combined with some bad luck on balls in play). Did he get hurt?

by DAMellen on Aug 4, 2009 10:15 PM PDT reply actions

It's only informative if you watched, I guess

RRS just had an off night is all. Not hurt, and his velocity was good for him.

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 4, 2009 10:24 PM PDT up reply actions

What do you want from me?

I work til six! I watch what I can…

by DAMellen on Aug 5, 2009 12:05 AM PDT up reply actions

LL isn't exactly the AP

by Poochie on Aug 4, 2009 10:31 PM PDT up reply actions

That explains why the Pulitzer committee laughed when I sent them this

Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.

by pdb on Aug 5, 2009 7:41 AM PDT up reply actions

I thought it was the fact that it was a funny game recap

and the laughter was sincere. There just isn’t a shred of humanity left in these people.

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Aug 5, 2009 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions

What a snoozer, bookended by Ichiro fireworks at both ends of the game.

The highlight clip of his catch is fantastic, what an incredible player.

by Kermit. on Aug 4, 2009 10:18 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

Here's a link to the catch, as called by the KC gamecaller:

Ichiro’s catch.

Look at where he started from, and how far he had to go to get that final out. What a gamer!

by Blueberry_Icecream on Aug 4, 2009 10:26 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

As the KC announcer said, Ichiro WANTED that ball!

ignacio

by ignacio on Aug 5, 2009 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions

That's what they told the light brigade!

But did that stop them? FUCK NO!

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Aug 4, 2009 11:17 PM PDT up reply actions

Ours is not to reason why

by Graham MacAree on Aug 4, 2009 11:42 PM PDT up reply actions

Ours is but to swap vets for prospects when the price is high.

I don't know how to stop.

by esoteric on Aug 5, 2009 12:25 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

A third of a league, a third of a league, a third of a league onward.

Into the valley of the West rode the 30(0).

by Robert Lintott on Aug 5, 2009 6:45 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

If these were the 06 Mariners, I wouldn't mind them all shot to shit by Russian cannon at the end of the season

this year not so much.

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Aug 5, 2009 8:45 AM PDT up reply actions

and I buy a lottery ticket once a month

what’s your point?

by Snuffleupagus on Aug 4, 2009 11:19 PM PDT up reply actions

My point is that Fogel is a retarded homosexual

by Poochie on Aug 4, 2009 11:20 PM PDT up reply actions

So Kelley got a Batitsa win.

by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 4, 2009 10:54 PM PDT reply actions

.

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 4, 2009 11:46 PM PDT reply actions 27 recs

If anything, the Mariners have the best record for clubhouse chemistry this year.

2009 Safeco Field Record: 5-0 ; Overall Safeco Field Record: 9-4

by Fin on Aug 4, 2009 11:53 PM PDT up reply actions

The High Five'n White Guys meet Ichiro

Fantastic… This is one of my favorite Gifs of all time!

In my imagination, Ichiro is yelling “suck it!” as he comes in for his high fives.

by Sundevil78 on Aug 5, 2009 12:18 AM PDT up reply actions

This makes it even harder to dislike Sweeney.

Look at Ichiro on his way in…he does the same thing. Clearly they’ve practiced this before.

Dammit, everybody loves that useless dude.

I don't know how to stop.

by esoteric on Aug 5, 2009 12:26 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs

Yah, they have that odd little thing they do--

we’ve seen it before

by msb on Aug 5, 2009 7:51 AM PDT up reply actions

This is basically the best thing ever.

angels fan in seattle

by Eyebrows on Aug 5, 2009 12:28 AM PDT up reply actions

After about an hour, the .gif finally loaded

and now I can’t stop laughing.

Batting .357/.571/.500 in 6 games for PSSBL Rocky Diablos 2009

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Aug 5, 2009 12:32 AM PDT up reply actions

An hour?

It’s not even four megs.

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 5, 2009 12:38 AM PDT up reply actions

I use a free ISP on a dialup connection.

My Internet should be taking Mr. Sweeney’s suggestion.

Batting .357/.571/.500 in 6 games for PSSBL Rocky Diablos 2009

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Aug 5, 2009 12:43 AM PDT up reply actions

And if you don't like this I've got two words for you...

by SethGrandpa on Aug 5, 2009 12:33 AM PDT up reply actions

I'm glad I'm not the only one who had this thought.

FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!

by Goose on Aug 5, 2009 1:11 AM PDT up reply actions

This is what I first thought of as well.

Apparently Sweeney is a DX fan, ha ha.

by Heydude on Aug 5, 2009 1:48 AM PDT up reply actions

Gosh, how ever did I miss this?

by msb on Aug 5, 2009 8:42 AM PDT up reply actions

My life is now more complete. You?

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Aug 5, 2009 8:46 AM PDT up reply actions

I saw them do this once before too.

I can’t remember what happened but Ichiro came to the dugout and they did that. It was a month or so ago. This is the best gif ever!

I actually bought a Betancourt t-shirt.
P.S. Fuck the Angels!

by Hopefulmsfan on Aug 5, 2009 1:03 AM PDT up reply actions

Is Sweeney doing the DX chop?

FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!

by Goose on Aug 5, 2009 1:11 AM PDT up reply actions

That's international sign for "Suck it."

...and now I'm here

by CapSea on Aug 5, 2009 2:33 AM PDT up reply actions

This is a fact.

As evidence, I would like to cite professional bowler Pete Weber.

Batting .353/.577/.471 in 7 games for PSSBL Rocky Diablos 2009

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Aug 5, 2009 12:01 PM PDT up reply actions

Yeah know. I've tried. I've really really tried.

I’ve said to myself “Sweeney brings nothing of value to the plate or on the field. He’s worthless. Clubhouse chemistry be damned.”

But goddamnit Mike, you’re making it really fucking hard for me to hate you.

FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!

by Goose on Aug 5, 2009 1:14 AM PDT up reply actions

Sheesh.

I missed this from the spring.

by msb on Aug 5, 2009 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions

I want Mike Sweeney to work at my company

I bet everyone would show up at 7 AM fresh and invigorated by the idea of another day at the office. Sweeney would bring coffee, donuts, and smiles.

by njpozner on Aug 5, 2009 1:44 AM PDT up reply actions

And hugs

Don’t forget the hugs!

by Sundevil78 on Aug 5, 2009 2:25 PM PDT up reply actions

You know those really happy morning people you just want to hit?

Mike wouldn’t be one of those.

by msb on Aug 5, 2009 2:59 PM PDT up reply actions

Sweeney overdoes it

Less is more when you are making hand gestures that draw attention to your penis

by pakipaki on Aug 5, 2009 3:09 AM PDT up reply actions

Remember when you could post video in the comments and there was no need to make gifs?

Yeah the site sucked then. This is fantastic.

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Aug 5, 2009 3:18 AM PDT up reply actions

Sweeney, "Wait, wait...Suck my cock!"

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Aug 5, 2009 8:05 AM PDT up reply actions

I'm baffled.

This is the last gesture I would ever imagine Mike Sweeney doing.

by Teej on Aug 5, 2009 8:52 AM PDT up reply actions

I believe he is saying, "Smack my ass!" Which of course makes no sense.

by Sec 108 on Aug 5, 2009 9:11 AM PDT up reply actions

This whole thing seems a little too PG-13 for Mike Sweeney.

by Teej on Aug 5, 2009 9:19 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs

I think it's "Suck on that!"

Awaiting the day I catch a Russell Branyan foul ball. I will make love to it.
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997

by JLProck on Aug 5, 2009 10:01 AM PDT up reply actions

where did you get this video

by qwertyiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm on Aug 5, 2009 9:44 AM PDT up reply actions

Ha ha, you forgot the letter U!

by marc w on Aug 5, 2009 10:26 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs

I would like to change my vote on the "Keep Mike Sweeney?" poll.

Based on this .gif alone.

Awaiting the day I catch a Russell Branyan foul ball. I will make love to it.
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997

by JLProck on Aug 5, 2009 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions

Ah, now I remember Ichiro's favorite saying...

Good times.

by Coach Owens on Aug 4, 2009 11:55 PM PDT reply actions

Apparently Guillermo Mota brings it out in people

Today was the second time a hitter has come to try and hunt him down after a game (Piazza was the first)

Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles

by Trenchtown on Aug 5, 2009 4:16 AM PDT reply actions

Mota pitches for the Mariners/Royals?

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Aug 5, 2009 4:24 AM PDT up reply actions

The two match ups have uniform color similarities that may have caused this confusion.

by Sundevil78 on Aug 5, 2009 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions

Every game summary should end with Ichiro!

by msb on Aug 5, 2009 7:53 AM PDT reply actions

Don't look now

But the M’s just gained a game on the Angels for the first time since July 17th.

It….BEGINS!!!

by short on Aug 5, 2009 8:12 AM PDT reply actions

I was at the game...

and I have to say that the reaction of the fans to the Ichiro catch at the end of the game made the whole, sweaty-ass, aggravating game worthwhile.

by Ike Clanton on Aug 5, 2009 9:13 AM PDT reply actions

And I was apparently in the Mariners Fans Only row of seats

The 12 year old kid in our row had a DIY Hyphen jersey, either that or the “replica” jerseys have cheap iron-on lettering that peels off after a year of regular wear…

by Ike Clanton on Aug 5, 2009 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions

So how did the fans react?

Just curious

by Yoyogi on Aug 5, 2009 10:20 AM PDT up reply actions

There was, in fact, a collective groan on the pop-up

but when the ball appeared to disappear into the crevice they all seemed tm think that it got away and almost everyone was on their feet cheering. After about 3 seconds of cheering, there was a millisecond of silence followed imediately by cries of futile outrage and shame. As bad as the Mariners have been off and on in the last 20 years, I still can’t imagine the humiliation of being a Royals fan.

by Ike Clanton on Aug 5, 2009 12:56 PM PDT up reply actions