I Was Right
by Matthew on Aug 13, 2009 4:19 PM PDT
in Seattle Mariners News, Bad
Email
PrintAdrian Beltre heads to the DL with an injured testicle. Josh Wilson recalled.
Poor Adrian.
Jeff's note: Beltre played several innings after suffering the injury and went on to single and score the winning run. If anyone asks "so hey, hear anything today that made you feel like a total pussy?" I now have a different answer than I would've given twenty minutes ago.
Incidentally, this would be pretty much the worst way imaginable for Beltre's Mariner career to come to a close, and that includes striking out on a low-away slider with the season on the line. You know how in college they tell you not to do homework on your bed because you'll start to associate it with stress? If Beltre doesn't come back from this before the end of the year, he'll forever associate playing for Seattle with stomach-churning nausea of what must be epic proportions. Any time I accidentally so much as get grazed in the crotch I'm down for the count and the world stops for three or four minutes. One of Adrian Beltre's testicles is torn and bleeding.
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I know someone who will nurse it to health
by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 13, 2009 4:20 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
It must have been fun to play with this injury because there was no one to replace you.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
Branyan could have gone to third and Sweeney to first if it was absolutely necessary, probably.
Beltre’s just tough.
by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 13, 2009 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Also, holy shit.
I just remembered that Beltre scored the winning run. With an injured ball. My hat is off to him.
by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 13, 2009 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions
Jesus Christ
How does a motherfucker even walk with a torn testicle, much less play a sport? I remember back in the day when Seahawks safety Paul Moyer played most of an NFL football game with a ruptured testicle. Both are unreal feats of overcoming pain.
by lemonverbena on Aug 13, 2009 8:16 PM PDT up reply actions
Josias Manzanillo ran off the field as though nothing was wrong after getting hit by a Manny Ramirez line drive.
That testicle ended up being removed.
...and now I'm here
Oh DAMN!!
Poor guy.
"Fights begin, finger prints are took, days is lost, bail is made, court dates are ignored, cycle is repeated."
This makes me recall
Joh gunning down Felix Pie at second that one year
As much as it sucks that this happened to Adrian,
this is probably the best injury ever.
by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 13, 2009 4:27 PM PDT reply actions
You're right. Snyder's was a "fractured testicle".
For some reason I remember Pie’s being caused by Kenji nailing him during a stolen base.
FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!
So much for Hans-utility infielder
For now anyways.
FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!
After all the broadcast dancing about Aardsma's ass, how are they going to talk about Adrian?
Long, long ago Peggy Fleming refusing to use the word groin, and so spent a lot of time discussing a skater’s “leg” injury.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU NOT WEAR A CUP AT THIRD BASE??
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
They are uncomfortable and constricting
Then again, they protect your jewels. Tough call.
by Zach Sanders on Aug 13, 2009 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions
I know how uncomfortable they are, I played baseball for 10 years
But I also got hit in the crotch with ground balls enough times that I wouldn’t be caught dead in the infield without one
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
I played pitcher for years without one
Had some close calls, just have to have quick reflexes.
by Zach Sanders on Aug 13, 2009 4:34 PM PDT up reply actions
funny story
playing baseball in college, i’m catching friend on mound (never wears cup)… line drive back up the middle straight to the dick (remember this is aluminum bats so the exit speed is ridiculous)
like a child who doesn’t realize he is injured he grabs the ball, throws it to first, and immediately collapses with a “f***!”
he finishes five innings, which in and of itself is amazing… after the game and back at the hotel he discovers his scrotum has swollen to double it’s normal size… he had to have emergency surgery to drain his balls
moral of story… always wear a cup, despite the discomfort
by gorilla_baller on Aug 13, 2009 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions
The way Adrian plays though
He gets his body in front of everything and fields bounces in a way that leaves him prone to getting hit there.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 13, 2009 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions
You would think Beltre could afford to get a custom one made that he could be comfortable with.
Guess not.
I just had an idea.
There’s some new material that stays soft under normal conditions, but hardens under impact. I think it’s been used to make hats that double as helmets for skiing and whatnot. They should begin making cups out of this immediately.
by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 13, 2009 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions
I would think the sponsor would be Under Armor.
Illegible
by kevin_ess on Aug 13, 2009 6:19 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Protective gear made from a non-Newtonian fluid?
That’s an interesting idea.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
This is what I was talking about.
It’s developed by some British company. They don’t make any sort of specific ball protection gear that I’m aware of, but it looks like they continuously develop new stuff. Someone should get Adrian in contact with them ASAP.
by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 14, 2009 8:57 AM PDT up reply actions
My baseball coach in high school used to say...
“if you want to play infield, you wear a cup.”
That’s a stupid injury to be sidelined for when it could have been prevented by simply wearing a piece of equipment that has been around baseball for ages. Pitchers and outfielders – yeah, they usually don’t wear them (pitchers due to their motion and outfieldrers due to the low risk factor). Catchers and infielders? You’re just asking for trouble by refusing to wear a cup. Amazing.
I would imagine
they wanted Josh Wilson for Jack Wilson so Hannahan could play third. If Jack gets healthy soon, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Tui up.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 13, 2009 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
by Aaron Campeau on Aug 13, 2009 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions
And he scored the winning run last night with it...
I think Adrian is a superhero.
by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 13, 2009 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Did he get injured on the pick off play last night?
OT, somewhat, It was funny clicking the SBN Adrian Beltre link and under his scouting report learning that his “defense is not yet refined.” Can’t wait til he learns to play some third base..
No he took a bad hop in the balls.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 13, 2009 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Are you freaking kidding me?!
Also, this thread is painful even to conteplate.
I for one, would of been laying on the ground bawling.
FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!
NO
THIS man has supernatural pain tolerance. Click on the video labeled “Mark Littell vs. Pitching Machine.”
by gorilla_baller on Aug 13, 2009 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions
My dad's company sells infrared equipment and does conventions.
I guess at one of these conventions for military equipment that company had a rep there who was giving live demonstrations.
They also have a female version called the “Iron Maiden”.
Ouch
I don’t even want to know how the “Iron Maiden” works.
by gorilla_baller on Aug 13, 2009 7:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Shannon Drayer on KIRO 710
“He got hit in the balls… hit with the ball.
by w00tah on Aug 13, 2009 4:34 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
This is fucking awful
God dammit why?
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
Foreshadowing....
“Beltre said he never wore a cup while playing on fields full of holes and rocks in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. The only time he’s ever worn one was in 1996, in his first days as a 17-year-old Class-A player for the Los Angeles Dodgers. And that was only because the Dodgers briefly tried fining him for not wearing one. “I probably would have paid my whole paycheck to not wear it,” he said, adding – not with a knock but a pound on wood – that he has yet to have a ball strike him where it would hurt most."
Anyone have a gif of the play?
I was at the game and don’t recall this.
It was on his error throw to first.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 13, 2009 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions
Suddenly that error is more tolerable.
Still shouldn’t have thrown it, but I’ll give him a pass if his testicle had just torn.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 13, 2009 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
He play on with a torn ball?
That guy is the baseball equivalent of Bert Trautmann.
Also, this fucking blows.
I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.
Also, Jack Wilson may or may not go on the DL, according to Baker.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 13, 2009 4:52 PM PDT up reply actions
What's that now?
This win suddenly feels very different to me.
A very dangerous google search
I didn’t even think about what was possibly going to pop up with a google search of “Adrian Beltre, testicles”….but i did find this….Dude, just another case of “If Yuniesky Betancourt is doing it too, its probably not a good idea”
Remember last night in one of the threads
I I commented that hopefully that tumble at third didn’t hurt him? Yeah, this is much worse.
Illegible
I bet this is the only reason why that tumble looked so awkward.
Also, there was a ball thrown from CF to Beltre where he had a wierd look on his face trying to catch it. The announcers thought he lost it in the lights, but I bet it was his aching teste.
Is this actually fucking for real?
Are you kidding me? We just got him back what the fuck!!!!
by Pessimistic Optimist on Aug 13, 2009 4:56 PM PDT reply actions
Adrian's testicle will be our Nick Adenhart.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 13, 2009 4:57 PM PDT reply actions 12 recs
It actually makes a lot of sense right now.
I don’t know how highly Jack Z thinks of him though.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 13, 2009 5:52 PM PDT up reply actions
This is a gif of one of our favorite players tearing his testicle. He's got internal bleeding in his scrotum because of this play.
Can you at least show him scoring the winning run?
Did you gif Felix’s arm injury from April of 08?
I was trying to do this hours ago,
right after I made the comment in the recap post. In fact, I was pretty sure he got nutted right when the play happened. Anyways, thanks work computer for fucking me over on AVI.
You missed Adrian saying Fuck in the first one.
GIF link
I guess I have to change my screen name now.
by Manzanillos Cup on Aug 13, 2009 5:03 PM PDT reply actions
Dude I was at that game in the Kingdome when Manzanillo got nailed
It was late in the game and my dad and I grabbed some seats up front about 5 rows back. I remember the SOUND most of all. Ouch!
Horrible, horrible news
The only upside is that it is Hannah Montana time for the time being
by Yoyogi on Aug 13, 2009 5:06 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
At this point I'm beginning to suspect that Yoyogi is actually just an alter-ego of either Jeff or Matthew.
Doesn’t seem like Graham’s style and I’m sure that JI’s already on warning as is.
Jigsaw falling into place
I play 3b and I stopped wearing my cup because it sucks to have in.
Needless to say, I am putting it in from now on. The thought of testicle surgery makes me want to puke
I've never found cups too uncomfortable, especially after I switched to the kind with the rubberish soft edges.
I suggest everyone trying that kind of cup before deciding to not wear one at all.
Tonight's lineup
Ichiro
Gutz
Lopez
Sweeney
Branyan
Johjima
Hannahan
Josh Wilson
Saunders
Yuck.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
Hasn't Saunders at least earned a lineup spot above the injury replacement just called up from AAA?
Or is this another one of Wak’s lineup oddities?
We had to wait two months to watch Beltre crush a ball.
He finally does and he’s back on the DL.
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on Aug 13, 2009 6:31 PM PDT reply actions 5 recs
Forget the JJ Cock Punch
It’s time for the Beltre Cock Punch
If we could please avoid
the words “testicle” “torn” and “bleeding” for the rest of our lives, I’d really appreciate that. In a gesture of hopeless optimism, I’d like to thank Adrian from taking the last one for the team so that the rest of us can just go on not ever thinking about that again.
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