8/11: Open Game Thread
by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 11, 2009 6:31 PM PDT
in Seattle Mariners Game Threads
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PrintChicago White Sox at Seattle Mariners, Aug 11, 2009 7:10 PM PDT
Yeah, these jokes won't get old.
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Too bad the M's didn't win the Tazawa bidding...
Looks like a solid pitcher now with some room for improvement… signed for almost nothing.
For some reason, Fister's picture being the SBN default image is hilarious to me.
FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!
Cause his arm is missing?
So it looks like he is fisting something?
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 6:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Doug Fister doesn't have a head. He has only another fist.
When Doug Fister shakes your hand, you can’t walk straight for a week.
When a Doug Fister fastball is caught, the mitt squirts.
Doug Fister can pitch and plug the gap at the same time.
Doug Fister only pounds the zone inside.
If you mated the Dickey Cockpunch with the Fister Fastball, You’d get a Russell Branyan Fuck Blast.
Doug Fister’s knuckleball is illegal in 37 states.
Doug Fister only hits doubles, because once he hits second base, the game is over.
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on Aug 11, 2009 6:56 PM PDT up reply actions 10 recs
It's Youkilis's fault.
I’ve already ranted about this, but it’s stupid for Porcello to get thrown out in that scenario.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 6:43 PM PDT up reply actions
They would make brawls so much more gruesome!
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 6:47 PM PDT up reply actions
I see what you did there.
I’m happy that even at my advanced age I’m capable of Beavis and Butthead laughter
Mike Scioscia is fat.
Wait, Fister is older than Danks?
That’s a bit surprising.
by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 11, 2009 6:42 PM PDT reply actions
Do you want to see?
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:06 PM PDT up reply actions
I really don't want to.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:14 PM PDT up reply actions
This can only end in me getting banned.
Even with a warning link.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Just type this into google images.
And look in the upper right.
Fisting gif
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:19 PM PDT up reply actions
???
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Oh god dammit
*Definitely
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Yes sir, I'm losing the next couple of hours to this.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 6:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Andres Esquibel sucks.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 6:52 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm watching this because I don't have MLB.tv and this is better than Gameday.
Also, you know, minor league baseball.
I want to see the ’Sox hit now. Stop sucking Esquibel.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 6:56 PM PDT up reply actions
And then Gebbers scores on the WP.
Crashing into the pitcher in the process, both of them standing up.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 7:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Texas loses 5-0 to Cleveland.
At least someone’s being helpful.
Where did Laffey come from?
Seriously, that guy has been incredible his past few starts.
Wooooooooo a Russell Branyan HR montage!
You got slurved!
The M's are why the suicide rates are so high in the PNW and Japan.
So we luck out a bit in the NYY series. Pettite, Mitre, and Gaudin Friday-Sunday.
No Burnett or Chamberlein. Although Gaudin may be better than Joba this year.
He's so hit or miss this year though. He's been great at times, but more often than not he's had
horrid command and is done after 5 innings of mediocre ball
Im disappointed in the Krueger
Was hoping for “Fist the Sox” as a key to the game.
That's because you don't fist the sox.
You use them to clean up afterward.
...and now I'm here
I can't stop watching Porcello's sweet takedown.
This has been the highlight of my day so far.
Dude that was like a Judo move Taiotoshi almost.
You got slurved!
The M's are why the suicide rates are so high in the PNW and Japan.
Yeah because standing directly in the way of a charging 230 pound man is a great idea
by seattlebruin on Aug 11, 2009 7:08 PM PDT up reply actions
The gif proves otherwise.
...and now I'm here
I guess, it worked out for him. Why Youkilis is trying to bearhug him is beyond me.
If you are pissed go out there and take a swing. What does hugging him and bringing him to the ground accomplish?
It's hard to rape someone while standing up.
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on Aug 11, 2009 7:15 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
He was retaliating from an earlier incident.
And it was the second person he threw at; missed the first.
It wasn't like the pitch just knicked him
It hit him square in the back
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Because it was Youkoulis
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:11 PM PDT up reply actions
If I had a dollar for every time I flipped off a camera
I would be a couple dozen dollars richer
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Kevin Youkilis
Makes Jack Wilson look like Johnny Depp.
~I'm on the DA~
by section331 on Aug 11, 2009 7:13 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Mr. Clean has really let himself go
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
So the AL central just throws at each other?
So I can expect at least one incident this series with the WSox?
Porcello is my new favorite baseball player ever.
by I Lick Squirrels on Aug 11, 2009 7:14 PM PDT up reply actions
Game On!!!
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Without the Bama Bangs
Beckham is only a third as cool
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
How the hell did Wilson get to that ball?
That little 180 pivot throw thing he does is pretty.
Yuni would have had that
Granted, it would have been because he didn’t realize the shift was on
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
I love the fact that we're praising effort.
I don’t think I’ve seen that happen in a while…
~I'm on the DA~
It's Kenji right now, I think
he’s making no effort to steal strikes, and Fister is right around the edges of the zone
by seattlebruin on Aug 11, 2009 7:17 PM PDT up reply actions
So I thought Fister was supposed to be a strike throwing machine?
FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!
Umps.
But also…yeah.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 7:16 PM PDT up reply actions
He's hit that corner pretty consistently.
Just not getting the calls.
Boom
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Guti!!!
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
It seems like every single game Gutz does something good.
FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!
Fisting the 2 hole?
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:25 PM PDT up reply actions
Think if Fister was one of the 2 guys I just saw on google images.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:26 PM PDT up reply actions
I wonder how many kids went to look up Fister and baseball on google...
only to find baseball bats and fisting.
Doug Fister as a celebrity on Hollywood Squares
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Meh. It's his first start, let them get it out of their systems.
FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!
People have been making these jokes for like two years now.
by Aaron Campeau on Aug 11, 2009 7:28 PM PDT up reply actions
I have since the day we drafted him.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:29 PM PDT up reply actions
Looks like a nice day for baseball
should have headed down to the ballpark
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
OH NOW I GET IT
Fister is similar to the term fisting so when you make these jokes you are presuming that he frequently enages in the act that his name is similar to his last name.
The real jokes that we should be making are the ones involving the Black Panthers
by Robert on Aug 11, 2009 7:31 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Fisting Black Panthers?
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:31 PM PDT up reply actions
DO I click oh god oh god...
You got slurved!
The M's are why the suicide rates are so high in the PNW and Japan.
Fisted!!!
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
What is this image?
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Probably
I’m not stupid enough to look up anything called fisting with no filter
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Did you have safe search on?
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Just tuned in. Holy crap - not a bad pitcher.
I still hate him because of what we’re going to put up with given his name.
Illegible
Its honestly not that big of a deal.
by Pessimistic Optimist on Aug 11, 2009 7:36 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah if there's one thing we all know about LL it's that we're pretty good about not running unfunny jokes into the ground
by Aaron Campeau on Aug 11, 2009 7:37 PM PDT up reply actions
It'll die quickly.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:38 PM PDT up reply actions
I feel like it's already been dead meme'd
and people catch on fairly quickly with those.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 7:38 PM PDT up reply actions
If you're expecting class
I’m pretty sure you came to the wrong place
~I'm on the DA~
by section331 on Aug 11, 2009 7:37 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
It was alright.
Youk had all of his momentum going forward and all Porcello did was use it against him by basically pulling him down.
by Pessimistic Optimist on Aug 11, 2009 7:37 PM PDT up reply actions
You mean the Boise Hawks/Aquasox game or...?
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 7:41 PM PDT up reply actions
Dogs milking goats and Jack Wilson frighten me.
I figured I would combine them.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:40 PM PDT up reply actions
Dogs?
What is this originally from?
I don’t know the original referent, which may be part of the problem.
Jigsaw falling into place
Actually, it looks for all the world like a relative of the Youkilis Gremlin
You know, the one with the rotating head.
Jigsaw falling into place
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8SLTvA39xI
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:42 PM PDT up reply actions
I thought it was self explanatory
Mike Scioscia is fat.
by Big Jared on Aug 11, 2009 7:41 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
YOU'VE MADE THE LIST LANCE BARKSDALE
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 7:43 PM PDT up reply actions
WHO ISN'T ON THE LIST?
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 7:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Tim McClellan usually does a superb job of calling balls and strikes correctly, actually.
He just has that ultra-slow strike call that annoys people.
He’s one of the few actually decent ones that comes to mind.
Jigsaw falling into place
It would be funny if Fister got a bigger strike zone to lefties
by Robert on Aug 11, 2009 7:43 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
enough hard contact
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
come on
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Jesus Christ umpires are fucking horrible
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
SOMEBODY HIRE THAT ROBOT!
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 7:47 PM PDT up reply actions
WOW THAT WAS A STRIKE TOO HOLY SHIT
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
Oh great now Ozzie is going to fucking hit Ichiro and Gutz
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
I would love to see someone throw at Ichiro.
by Aaron Campeau on Aug 11, 2009 7:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Well we could substitute one for a fister.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:48 PM PDT up reply actions
EverytimeyouleaveIJermaineDyealittle
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Agrees
FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS! FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Goose on Aug 11, 2009 7:50 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
It's been far too long.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 7:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Depends on your feelings about fisting.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:49 PM PDT up reply actions
DIFFICULTY MODULATING TONE AGAIN
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 7:49 PM PDT up reply actions
IT IS REAL AND WE HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Aug 11, 2009 7:50 PM PDT up reply actions
This joke was probably funnier with all of hte words
by seattlebruin on Aug 11, 2009 7:49 PM PDT up reply actions
Did you accidentally the whole bottle?
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
WHY IS MY MLB.TV BEHIND?
Game thread is ruining the suspense for me
Wait, MICHAEL SAUNDERS IS WHITE???
I always assumed he was a black guy for some reason.
Jigsaw falling into place
Canadian = White
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
No need to make up names
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Michael Saunders channeling Carlos Gomez
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Wonder if that bunt was called
or Saunders was showing initiative
ignacio
ICH-I-RO! ICH-I-RO! ICH-IRO!
ALL DAY LOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGG
Wak Ball is right, IceStorm!
Let’s go Guti!!!
I wear orange hunting glasses to play baseball.
Wait his name is seriously Fister?
by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 11, 2009 7:54 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Yes, it's similar to a sexual act called fisting
think of it as “fist her”
by seattlebruin on Aug 11, 2009 7:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Google image search
Fisting Gif – And look in the upper right.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:56 PM PDT up reply actions
When the Seahawks became cool
luckily that’s almost over. So you’ll only have to endure Sounders jerseys.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 7:57 PM PDT up reply actions
KK
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
WTF?!?!?!
He’s inconsistent…
I wear orange hunting glasses to play baseball.
by MuscleManyan on Aug 11, 2009 8:00 PM PDT up reply actions
Fisting 4 Cy Youngs?
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 7:59 PM PDT up reply actions
One was borderline.
But I don’t really have gripes given how the rest of them have been called.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 8:02 PM PDT up reply actions
I prefer my jokes to at least be accurate in additional to carrying other humorous layers of meaning.
That way, when people inevitably fail to get it, at least my words can be taken at face value.
Lets see if his teamates can bust it wide open.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 8:03 PM PDT up reply actions
That's the name of the site, don't wear it out
by Poochie on Aug 11, 2009 8:04 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yay!
But fuck that keeps happening
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
Yippe K Yeh
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Most of the other SBN sites suck anyway
by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 11, 2009 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions
.
Most of the other SBN sites suck anyway
by seattlebruin on Aug 11, 2009 8:11 PM PDT up reply actions
Mccovey Chronicles
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Many SBN sites still have good contributors and just poor commenters.
DRaysBay is an example of that, from what I’ve observed.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 8:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Right after the Superbowl loss to the Colts.
Just harsh.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on Aug 11, 2009 8:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Their commenters often post "first"
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
I remember I did that once here
And Jeff made me cry.
DAN WILSON????
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
by Robert Lintott on Aug 11, 2009 8:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Jack Z has a funny way of posturing.
(Jeff is currently closing his eyes in anger)
I don't know why people give Churchill so much shit now, anyways.
He doesn’t really claim everything he says as fact any more. Almost anything is disclaimer’d
I'm going to run a site based on hearsay and shit I make up!
by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 11, 2009 8:14 PM PDT up reply actions
The Mariners are trading for Hanley Ramirez*
*Disclaimer: rumor may be completely false
See how easy that was!
The only thing I would say
is to go back and look through the archives and chart how often the stuff he says actually happens compared to here and USSM.
So is it pronounced POD-sednik or PUD-sednik?
Blowers says the former but most people say the latter.
A Mariners fan in Seattle
[Fisting joke]
There we go, back on track.
by Robert Lintott on Aug 11, 2009 8:22 PM PDT up reply actions
The less ground a runner can cover in a given time period the slower you have to think he is.
/McCarver
Mike Scioscia is fat.
Is it fun having a running dialouge with yourself about the Cardinals on a Mariners blog?
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 8:21 PM PDT up reply actions
You just talk about the Cardinals often
Other people do it with other teams too. It wasn’t meant to be an insult, I just wonder sometimes.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah why can't decent teams ever beat awesome teams on the road?
by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 11, 2009 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions
I know seriously it's fucking bullshit
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
They had to go with a mopup guy for most of the game
and he seemed pretty shitty. Not their fault.
FUCK THE ANGELS!
by Fuckmikereilly on Aug 11, 2009 8:24 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm not saying they should have won, I'm just disappointed that they didn't.
My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!
Whatever Ozzie Guillen just yelled at Fister right now prominently featured the word "MOTHERFUCKER."
Jigsaw falling into place
There is no nice way to say it
The Angels are fucking cunts
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
I understand the theory
I just can’t bring my self to root for them.
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Maybe we wouldn't think Jack Wilson was so ugly if we only saw the top half of his face over a fence.
by Aaron Campeau on Aug 11, 2009 8:25 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
This is a Home Improvement joke.
by Aaron Campeau on Aug 11, 2009 8:25 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
KKK
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Alex Rios
I apologize if this has been answered already, but will we be seeing him tomorrow?
I believe in Jack Z.
Have you seen his contract?
It’s not really worth his numbers (this year).
I believe in Jack Z.
by MuscleManyan on Aug 11, 2009 8:29 PM PDT up reply actions
KKKK
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
New game thread up
http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/8/11/986130/8-11-open-game-thread-part-2
http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/8/11/986130/8-11-open-game-thread-part-2
http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/8/11/986130/8-11-open-game-thread-part-2
http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/8/11/986130/8-11-open-game-thread-part-2
http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/8/11/986130/8-11-open-game-thread-part-2
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