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Around SBN: Can Tebow Say No To Anything?

A Note To Jack Wilson And Ian Snell

Mr. Wilson, Mr. Snell,

Hi! Welcome to Seattle. My name is Jeff Sullivan, lead author of Mariners blog LookoutLanding.com. I think I speak for all of us fans when I say I'm excited to have you guys join the team. Bringing in a shortstop and an arm of your respective calibers greatly improves the roster both this year and beyond, and it is our hope that you are both able to be a part of the next Mariner team that makes it to the playoffs. I am confident that you will each prove to be valuable additions to the ballclub.

Now then, on to the main purpose of this letter. Upon learning that you had been traded, you may have thought you were going to a team with a calm, mild-mannered fanbase. You will shortly learn that this couldn't be further from the truth. Though there are swaths of people who only come out for the garlic fries and the hydro races (you'll see), a great number of us are impossibly critical and difficult to please. We are a group that takes pleasure in voicing its disapproval, and though many of your new teammates will plead ignorance on the matter, they've all heard the talk. While we do not represent the majority of Mariners fans, if we don't like you, you will hear about it.

That said, it is possible to get on our good side, and so for your benefit I shall include a handy rubric.

For Jack:

  • Play shiny defense while hitting a little bit and we will like you
  • Play shiny defense while not hitting at all and we will dislike you
  • Get fat and lazy and do everything wrong and we will hate you
  • Wear a little bowtie and we will like you
  • Wear a little bowtie and a helicopter beanie and we will call you adorable

For Ian:

  • Get back to pitching like you did a few years ago and we will like you
  • Get back to pitching like you did a few years ago and remark that "John Lackey probably smells" and we will personally wash your car and take care of your landscaping
  • Say that you aren't fond of Seattle and never want to play there and we will hate you
  • Keep pitching like you were in Pittsburgh and we will dislike you
  • Smile like once and we will love you

Heed those bullet points and everything should be peaches. Best of luck to you both, and here's to several years of amicable coexistence. Once again, welcome. We're thrilled to have you.

Sincerely,

Jeff

Sig_medium

PS also please save our season

23 recs  |  Comment 154 comments |

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Comments

Display:

Without a doubt.

Bravo Jeff, this is pure gold.

by Sec 108 on Jul 30, 2009 8:02 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I absolutely agree with you, AC.

It was wonderful up until bow tie, and after that I was putty in its hands.

a failure pile in a sadness bowl.

by royalcurve on Jul 30, 2009 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Also,

Jack Wilson + Mike Sweeney + Ken Griffey Jr. = Super clubhouse chemistry = Playoffs!!

2009 Safeco Field Record: 5-0 ; Overall Safeco Field Record: 9-4

by Fin on Jul 30, 2009 1:05 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

And Ian Snell gives someone that Griffey can hang out with.

2009 Safeco Field Record: 5-0 ; Overall Safeco Field Record: 9-4

by Fin on Jul 30, 2009 1:06 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

His stepdad is Puerto Rican.

Somehow that landed him on their WBC team

by Mariner John on Jul 30, 2009 1:23 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Here you go

“His parents split while he was young, and he claims to have spoken with his natural father once, by phone. His mother raised him, and it was in her honor that, while a prospect in the Pirates’ system, he changed his name from Ian Oquendo — the father’s last name - to Ian Snell. He fell in love with Angelica Davila, now his wife, and accepted her father, Juan Davila, a Puerto Rican national, as his own father, always calling him “Dad.”"- Post Gazette

by msb on Jul 30, 2009 7:31 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

But wait!


Rosenthal
with an update!

“Pirates right-hander Ian Snell is African-American. He does not speak Spanish. Yet, when he started for Puerto Rico on Monday night, few things in the World Baseball Classic seemed more right.

Snell, 27, is representing Puerto Rico to honor Juan Davila, who raised him in Delaware from the time he was 2, living with and later marrying the pitcher’s mother.

He spoke with Davila, whom he refers to as “my dad” but actually is his stepfather. He spoke with his wife, whom he previously had honored by taking her last name, Oquendo, from 2001 to ’03.

“My wife couldn’t believe it,” Snell says. "My dad was like, ‘Yeah, right.’ He was like, ’You’re playing (around), right?’ I said, ’I’m not playing, I’m serious.’

“He’s been with my mother for 25 years. He took me to every baseball camp, signed me up for everything, did everything for me. He accepted me as his own.”

by msb on Jul 30, 2009 8:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

No, his birth father was Puerto Rican as well

but that’s not the guy he views as his real dad. It just so happens Davila is also Puerto Rican….

by marc w on Jul 30, 2009 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

His dad was black, right?

Ian Snell’s first press conference:

Reporter: so, what are you?
Snell: Um, I’m a pitcher.
Reporter:..
Snell: For the Mariners.
Reporter: No, I know, I mean, what ARE you?
Snell: Um…
Reporter: Hmmm…I mean, where did your parents come from?
Snell: America.
Reporter: But you played for Puerto Rico.
Snell: Yes.
Reporter: So you’re a Latino?
Snell: No.
Reporter: So are you white?
Snell: No.
Reporter: So you’re Native American.
Snell: No. I was raised by a Puerto Rican step-dad.
Reporter: So, you’re Puerto Rican.
Snell: No.
Reporter: So are you African-American.
Snell: No.
Reporter: So what are you?
Snell: I’m black. I thought people knew this already.

by Decatur on Jul 30, 2009 12:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I mean, I know that clubhouse chemistry shouldn't affect play.

But if anything, he really does seem to bring a friendly environment amongst the team.

2009 Safeco Field Record: 5-0 ; Overall Safeco Field Record: 9-4

by Fin on Jul 30, 2009 1:13 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Just ask Kirby Arnold!

“DH Mike Sweeney, while enthused at getting Wilson, couldn’t help but feel badly for Cedeno, who was taking the trade hard. "There’s a personal side and there’s a professional side. The personal side is that it hurts to look into the teary eyes of Ronny Cedeno as he leaves. "

by msb on Jul 30, 2009 7:45 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I can't help but like him

He’s such a fucking great guy!!

My Mariners blog - SodoMojo Twitter Feed, Fuck the fucking Angels!

by gregrabble on Jul 30, 2009 1:43 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I scoffed at this during spring training.

Wak kept talking about what an ‘adder’ Sweeney was. Somehow I too have come around. He has some strange but potent white magic.

"If I'm in a slump, I ask myself for advice." -Ichiro

by Big Jared on Jul 30, 2009 1:48 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Gah...he's...just...so...damn...likeable...

I was thinking…can we have him retire after this year but make up a position that pay him full-time to just hang around? Would anyone have a problem with this?

by SethGrandpa on Jul 30, 2009 2:20 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I am totally all for that.

We’ve got to keep him around, bench coach, mascot, 1st base coach, team hugger. I don’t care, just don’t bat cleanup anymore.

by Heydude on Jul 30, 2009 2:47 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

If I were ever an MLB player and traded, I would want to be traded to a team with Mike Sweeney.

I realize he is no longer a good baseball player, but my goodness he’d get rid of all of the awkwardness of joining a group of people you didn’t know.

by abender20 on Jul 30, 2009 7:12 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I don't think those introductions could've been any whiter.

2009 Safeco Field Record: 5-0 ; Overall Safeco Field Record: 9-4

by Fin on Jul 30, 2009 1:12 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Too bad we can't bring them back as coaches next season

Because they really do make the chemistry great. Hopefully some of these players will continue to keep the clubhouse fun next season.

Carlos Silvelite

by OceanBird on Jul 30, 2009 1:15 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think you're on to something.

Maybe not coaches or players, but how about Captains of Clubhouse Chemistry? Griffey will be paid to walk around and crack wise, pull those clubhouse pranks, and smile alot. Sweeney official team hugger. Sweeney’s hugs look really nice. I’d say worth 1 million dollars per season with incentive bonuses based on hugs.

Groundbreaking stuff… Could easily push us over the top and get us into the playoffs next season.

by Sundevil78 on Jul 30, 2009 2:02 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

"Sweeney's hugs look really nice"

At first, that sounded just amazingly dumb. And then I watched. And now I want one of those hugs. You’re right, they do look nice.

by rlintott on Jul 30, 2009 7:08 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Wow

Sweeney’s real quick on the draw with the brohug

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Jul 30, 2009 1:34 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ken Griffey came back just because of the Hydro Races

And they shall inspire these two men to play their hearts out, even though yellow NEVER wins.

Carlos Silvelite

by OceanBird on Jul 30, 2009 1:06 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

NO KIDDING!

Yellow never DOES win, does it?

YELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!

This signature space for rent.

by PositivePaul on Jul 30, 2009 10:12 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

This post gets me thinking about Seattle fan favorites and villians.

It is certainly not all performance related. We love Gary Payton and never really got into Shaun Alexander.

We gave Griffey plaques and standing o’s when he returned, cheered Randy and in between boo’s, threw everything within our vicinity at A-Rod.

I do not disagree with these reactions, except maybe Randy, but I certainly think they are curious. My conclusion is that Seattle fans want heart, effort and sincerity.

Wherever I go, that's where I am.

by noontide on Jul 30, 2009 1:09 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Jeff,

Please don’t put all this pressure on me. And don’t say you will hate me. You hate me?

Sincerely,
Ian Oquendo Davila-Snell

by lemonverbena on Jul 30, 2009 1:38 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

What are you talking about?

He has one of the most beautiful asymmetrical faces ever.

...and now I'm here

by CapSea on Jul 30, 2009 2:42 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ian's middle name is Dante.

I hope he’s awesome for that reason alone.

...and now I'm here

by CapSea on Jul 30, 2009 1:51 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

This is one of the best things I have ever read

F*** Billy Beane... actually, I kinda like Holliday

by vivaelpujols on Jul 30, 2009 4:22 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Mission accomplished!

De Gutibus non disputandum est

by Bearskin Rugburn on Jul 30, 2009 9:20 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You forgot one bullet point for both of them

Make funny commercials for the team and you’ll have fans for life regardless of what happens on the field.

Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.

by pdb on Jul 30, 2009 8:45 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Not true.

The Vidro/Bavasi commercial was pretty funny.

angels fan in seattle

by Eyebrows on Jul 30, 2009 9:02 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh, and about the Hydros?

Wilson and Snell have been watching Pierogis race for years.

by msb on Jul 30, 2009 9:27 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Jeff, I hope you really mailed this letter.

Racer X. You have to love those amarillo hops.

p.s. fuck you angels

p.p.s. geoff baker is an idiot

by InSpokane on Jul 30, 2009 9:53 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I hope it came in the form of a singing telegram

because I think Snell would smile once, causing us to love him

WELCOME TO THE ZONE.

by HHZ on Jul 30, 2009 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

One thing I have to say about this trade is that Jack Z is clearly trying to win NOW, and I won't condemn a man for that.

I know Bill Bavasi had a similar mindset in “winning now” and it cost us more than we could have ever imagined. But Bill Bavasi was a horrible evaluator of talent and just an all-around idiot. One of the worst GM’s in baseball, if not the worst, when he was the GM. And Jack Z is clearly NOT one of the worst GM’s in baseball. If anything, he should be considered for GM of the year.

He could have had an all-out sell-off of our best players for some cheap, young talent – and we’re still hoping he does that with Jarrod Washburn and maybe a bullpen arm or two, but instead he acquired our biggest need this season in a shortstop who plays excellent defense. No, he’s not Reid Brignac or JJ Hardy, but Jack Wilson is a much better hitter than Ronny Cedeno and we don’t lose a step on defense. Ian Snell will probably be pitching for the big league club as soon as Washburn is gone and/or when a spot opens up for performance reasons, which shouldn’t be too long from now.

I honestly don’t see myself hating Jack Wilson and I think Ian Snell will at least fall somewhere ahead of “dislike.”

Jack Z, you made a bold move yesterday. In three years we might say “Damn, that didn’t turn out quite like we hoped,” but as of today I’m happy that with two months of the season left, we are a better team today than we were yesterday.

by Kenny Knows Sports on Jul 30, 2009 10:09 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I find it funny that at this point in the season last year

we had problem fielding more than one regular position player who had an OPS over 800. Now we have 4. Even if our probability of making the playoffs was like 5% or something at the beginning of the week, I am enjoying the season.

And Ian Snell: the world is yours, ugly

WELCOME TO THE ZONE.

by HHZ on Jul 30, 2009 11:57 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

*3

Carp doesn’t count

WELCOME TO THE ZONE.

by HHZ on Jul 30, 2009 11:58 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Snell's situation with the M's, I really believe, will become the most clear, concrete, tangible example of how good chemistry can directly translate into wins.

I’m generally of the LL/USSM take on team chemistry (like Larry Stone said, winning makes good chemistry and losing makes bad chemistry). However, I think Sweeney and Griffey in particular – and Wak, Rick Adair, and GMZ too – will prove enormously beneficial to Snell immediately. Why? First, look at this story:

Look at this story from July 1:

But Triple-A hasn’t been much of a challenge for Snell. But why is he playing at this level? Snell says he’s doing it to save his life. A month ago, he says he contemplated suicide.

“Sometimes people do stupid stuff and I had to fight it, not to do something stupid and take my life for myself and from my family and my parents,” he said.

He says, emotionally, he hit rock bottom and has been battling depression. When he had bad games with the Pirates, negative comments from the media or on the Internet bothered him, so he wanted to leave Pittsburgh.

“I just want to say sorry to all the bloggers and media people for saying they don’t know anything. But I didn’t mean anything by it,” Snell said. “I was just upset at the time.”

He says family, friends and God helped him get back on track.

“Seek God and positive people around you and look for your true friends and they’ll come out and support you,” Snell said. “A lot of people support me right now. I’m just grateful, because if I didn’t have them, I probably wouldn’t be standing here right now.”

Ken Griffey Jr. actually attempted to commit suicide when he was 17. “’Don’t ever try to commit suicide,’ Griffey said he wants to tell kids. ‘I am living proof how stupid it is.’” Griffey’s attitude, demeanor, and leadership have been absolutely flawless as far as we know. Mike Sweeney, obviously, babysits kids and channels Jesusy vibes and makes everyone love him everywhere he goes. Those two guys seem tailor-made to help a guy like Snell.

Furthermore, Snell knows he’s in an organization that, from GMZ down, values him and know he can once again become the #2 starter he was in 2007 (his tRA+ in 2007 was 118 and he was worth 4.3 WAR). Rick Adair and Wak have done an outstanding job handling the rotation – I can’t think of any real complaints I had with them that lasted more than a day. Seattle is, all things considered, a pretty friendly fan and media environment, so that will help too.

I’m really excited. Snell’s a guy I’ve liked a ton since 2007 – I didn’t follow the season that closely that year, but he jumped out at me whenever I saw his highlights or stat line. I think he can be King Felix’s grand vizier.

by Decatur on Jul 30, 2009 11:58 AM PDT reply actions   2 recs

"Seek God and positive people around you"

Great insight. I hope the chemistry rubs off on Snell.

WELCOME TO THE ZONE.

by HHZ on Jul 30, 2009 12:01 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is a really good post

I hope you’re right. More than likely, being in a positive situation will help him be positive, but to what extent, who knows?

Like I’ve said in the past, I have no idea if or how much good chemistry helps. It can’t hurt, though.

by seattlebruin on Jul 30, 2009 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

"negative comments from the media or on the Internet bothered him"

This could be a problem.. I hope he doesn’t get linked here if he ever has a shitty game

by d0nkey on Jul 30, 2009 1:38 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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