Thoughts On A Picture
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 28, 2009 4:05 PM PDT
in Miscellaneous
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Print- Much like Bigfoot, Chris Shelton is both easily identifiable and best viewed from a distance.
- Chris Shelton was supposed to be in focus, but the camera resisted.
- This is the picture Chris Shelton's mom has framed on the mantle.
- Chris Shelton's better side is neither his left nor his right, but twenty paces.
- When he isn't wearing a hat, Chris Shelton looks like someone put furry red handcuffs around a fish.
- NOW YOU SEE, CARLOS. NOW YOU SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE
- According to the penal definition, whereby a criminal becomes remorseful over learning that his actions had real consequences on real people, Carlos Silva has been rehabilitated.
- Franklin Gutierrez has a look of smug but indifferent resignation, like he's sitting there thinking "well whatever I did my part." Which is probably true. Life's hard when you're that much better than pretty much everyone around you. Just ask Adrian Gonzalez, or Babe.
- Notice that Silva has about six feet of empty bench space on either side of him.
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It's been a while since we've seen a pitcher who looks like he smells
Carlos Silva’s just doing his bit to rectify the situation.
Fuck Anaheim.
Regarding the second-to-last point,
I think you’re forgetting Franklin’s missed catch on that fly at the wall. The game was probably lost by that point anyway, but it killed my boner.
by I Lick Squirrels on Jul 28, 2009 4:19 PM PDT reply actions
And it was then that Franklin Gutierrez removed his hat...
and revealed the re-haired troll head growing out of his skull.
by Attractive Nuisance on Jul 28, 2009 4:35 PM PDT reply actions
Notice, also ...
Silva is about 6 feet from Franklin, yet still bigger in the frame. Apparently, the laws of perspective and vanishing point do not apply to him.
Silva looks like...
He has a nice game of gameboy tetris going on.
by Mariner Optimist on Jul 28, 2009 4:36 PM PDT reply actions
The mirrors installed on the front wall of the dugout...
don’t appeal to everybody.
by Attractive Nuisance on Jul 28, 2009 4:37 PM PDT reply actions
He's getting his space for a reason...
Carlos is a very hungry man and Mike Morse wasn’t actually traded.
by Adam B on Jul 28, 2009 4:55 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
The picture of Shelton at Utah seems to confirm Jeff's theory that cameras exhibit resistance
when faced with Shelton.
So... the all fugly team?
De Gutibus non disputandum est
by Bearskin Rugburn on Jul 28, 2009 5:27 PM PDT reply actions
SP has to be this guy
although I’d prefer to keep this to living players
De Gutibus non disputandum est
by Bearskin Rugburn on Jul 28, 2009 5:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Randy Johnson is one ugly fucker.
Racer X. You have to love those amarillo hops.
p.s. fuck you angels
p.s.s. geoff baker is an idiot
Well, unlike Tosh.0, this actually made me laugh.
It’s a shame that one of the best stand-up comics around has one of the worst shows around.
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