Thoughts On A Picture

by Jeff Sullivan on Jun 22, 2009 4:25 PM PDT in Miscellaneous

This looks like it was shot during the interrogation scene of a gangster movie.

Wakamatsu: Tell me what I want to know.
Felix: No.
Wakamatsu: I highly recommend that you take this opportunity to cooperate.
Felix:
Wakamatsu: I am not always this congenial.
Felix: I don't care.
Wakamatsu: Tell me, Felix.
Felix: No.
Wakamatsu: Give me the information, Felix.
Felix: No.
Wakamatsu: Tell me, Felix.
Felix: No.
Wakamatsu: SWEET BABY CHRISTOPHER JUST TELL ME WHY YOUR CHANGEUP IS SO GOD DAMN FAST
Felix: I DON'T KNOW
Wakamatsu: That's it.
Felix: What's it?
Wakamatsu: Tony, Leo, take care of the puppy.
Felix: WHAT
Felix: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
Felix:
Felix: OH MY GOD
Wakamatsu: Now tell me what I want to know.
Felix: YOU ARE A MONSTER

I think everybody was surprised when Reynolds' fly ball left the yard. When he first made contact I thought it was going to be a lazy pop-up behind second base. In my head I like to think that Felix just stared in disbelief the whole time and held this pose, frozen, until Wakamatsu came out, waved his hands and snapped his fingers in front of Felix's face, and finally got Felix's attention by twisting his nipples.

This is all part of Chris Woodward's plan to make his face just a little bit visible in every picture that's taken while he's up so that a week from now he can prove to all his neighbors that he really was in the Majors. Unfortunately, his efforts are a little too subtle. "There's my name, right there - Bart Simpson." "Looks more like Brad Storch." "No! It says Betty - Betty Symington." :punch: "That's for taking credit for other people's work."

The term "pitcher's duel" is weird to me, if only because no one actually dies, or even gets wounded. And where the best duels involved a blow or a death, the best pitcher's duels hand a mutual shutout over to the bullpen. Pitchers don't so much duel as participate in competitive parenting.

An unsupervised duel is a murder.

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Comments

I'm pretty sure, in an unsupervised duel, you could just claim self-defence .

by abender20 on Jun 22, 2009 4:29 PM PDT reply actions

I think an unsupervised duel is just a rebranded suicide though.

Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.

by pdb on Jun 22, 2009 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions

Good gravy, Jeff.

In my head I like to think that Felix just stared in disbelief the whole time and held this pose, frozen, until Wakamatsu came out, waved his hands and snapped his fingers in front of Felix’s face, and finally got Felix’s attention by twisting his nipples.

Unbelievable.

by royalcurve on Jun 22, 2009 4:54 PM PDT reply actions

To me it looks like Felix is thinking...

you want to take me out and put in who??!!

by mwalter on Jun 22, 2009 5:24 PM PDT reply actions

I believe I once heard a song about a banjo getting murdered

by Fett42 on Jun 22, 2009 5:28 PM PDT reply actions

If there was an actual pitchers' duel, in the classic/Wild West sense of the word

it would most likely involve Clay Zavada.

Also, I’m new here. Woo first post!

by I Lick Squirrels on Jun 22, 2009 5:42 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs

Well done!

by royalcurve on Jun 22, 2009 7:05 PM PDT up reply actions

Also, licking squirrels is a serious health risk.

by Lanky on Jun 23, 2009 8:20 AM PDT up reply actions

My uncle died from licking squirrels.

by JamMasterJesus on Jun 23, 2009 10:37 PM PDT up reply actions

it's seems to be heading more to a tweak of the love handles.

by msb on Jun 22, 2009 6:33 PM PDT reply actions

Is competitive parenting like the Upper Class Twit of the Year competition?

Events could include mothers bragging about how much better their children are than all the other kids and who can yell the most obnoxiously at their kids’ sporting events.

by Jed MC on Jun 22, 2009 7:02 PM PDT reply actions

Duel was Steven Spielberg's first movie.

by waldo rojas on Jun 22, 2009 9:04 PM PDT reply actions

It's about a guy dueling with a trucker, right? Saw that movie years ago.

by russak on Jun 22, 2009 9:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes, but you never actually see the trucker. Also, Dennis Weaver!

by waldo rojas on Jun 23, 2009 9:41 AM PDT up reply actions

Love it

"You're so beautiful. You could be a part-time model, but you'd probably still have to keep your normal job."

by nickmo on Jun 22, 2009 10:00 PM PDT up reply actions

Does anyone actually KNOW why Felix throws 85-89 MPH changeups?

It keeps me up at night.

by JamMasterJesus on Jun 22, 2009 11:48 PM PDT reply actions

During the game Niehaus announced one at 87 and I got all kinds of excited thinking that was a bit slower than usual.

Gameday called it a slider, so I still don’t know if it was a changeup. I’d like to see what results a consistent 85 would produce.

by Kermit. on Jun 23, 2009 2:13 AM PDT up reply actions

I've noticed that Niehaus has been calling a lot of breaking balls "changeups".

The one that caught my attention was the first pitch to Jamie Burke in the 5th. That would be the 66mph pitch with -10 inches of vertical break and -5 inches of horizontal break. That is one ginormous looping curveball.

by abender20 on Jun 23, 2009 8:42 AM PDT up reply actions