I really like Brandon Morrow, the pitcher, and think he should stay in Seattle.
Brandon Morrow should be starting today for the Mariners. He should stay in the rotation for the remainder of the season. Sending him to the minor leagues would be a mistake. He is to talented to be in AAA, getting out minor league hitters will not teach him to succeed in the show. Randy Johnson learned how to pitch in the majors, as did Felix. The stuff is there, the ability to succeed is there, now it is only a matter of Brandon Morrow going out and using his god given talent to take the success he deserves.
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The key to Morrow's success is obviously a good catcher though
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
This was worth the 7.8 seconds it took to read
by Graham MacAree on Jun 18, 2009 10:45 AM PDT reply actions
Needs less punctuation.
I will smash your face into a jelly.
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 18, 2009 12:36 PM PDT up reply actions
Wait for the next installment
cleverly titled GRIFFEY and detailing how much Mr. Griffey has left in the tank and how he’ll want to finish his career by dragging a team of underachievers into the playoffs.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
It's easier to drag something when you're walking than it is if you're running
by seattlebruin on Jun 18, 2009 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions
BUT YOU CAN'T WALK OFF THE ISLAND
oh wait
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
In other news
If you’re related in any way to a Mariner. Stay home. With the lights on. And a knife in your hands.
Chris Woodward is being called up to replace Jose Lopez who is now the third Mariner to go on bereavement leave in the last month.
You would think his brothers would eventually learn to stop riding motorcycles.
by Robert on Jun 18, 2009 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
That's pretty bad
seeing as it’s his sister this time.
by Rollo Tomasi on Jun 18, 2009 11:58 AM PDT up reply actions
Just once I'd like to hear an athlete thank Satan for giving him the tools to succeed in professional sports
That person would automatically become my all-time favorite athlete.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
yeah but that'd just be nepotism
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
by pdb on Jun 18, 2009 10:55 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
No, it just means God doesn't know whether he wants to start or relieve
it’s basic theology, man!
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
That's two much too learn
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
by pdb on Jun 18, 2009 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
What is the point of this FanPost
and Morrow doesn’t need to learn how to get hitters out. He needs to learn how to handle being a starter rather than a reliever and how to figure out where the hell his pitches are going.
It’s not as if he’s some 23 year old Venezuelan kid throwing fastball after fastball after fastball
Yes, I'm aware he's a 24 year old Californian throwing fastball after fastball after fastball
by seattlebruin on Jun 18, 2009 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions
The point of this fanpost is to give us sharks our daily dose of chum
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
Either way, it's keeping me occupied at work!
Thanks Matthew / mw3
by seattlesundevil on Jun 18, 2009 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions
This hastily done photoshop sums it up for me:

IF I WAS MANAGER I'D HAVE A FIST FIGHT WITH YUNI RIGHT NOW AND KNOCK HIS FUCKING MONKEY HEAD CLEAN OFF (~EM)
by seattlecougar on Jun 18, 2009 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
Needs moar recs
"Part, fools!
Put up your swords. You know not what you do."
by Fearless Frog on Jun 20, 2009 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions
No wonder he has control issues.
“That right arm is huuuuuge, man!”
“It sure is, Tiny Elvis!”
Awaiting the day I catch a Russell Branyan foul ball. I will make love to it.
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997
The one time I tried to take the success I deserved resulted in a restraining order.
by Sec 108 on Jun 18, 2009 12:41 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Success does not equal your neighbor's pants
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
Another star of the mariner blogosphere is born...
"Even the stupidest of men, by some instinct of nature, is convinced on his own that with more observations his risk of failure is diminished."
-Jacques Bernoulli Ars conjectandi 1713
by Bearskin Rugburn on Jun 18, 2009 12:46 PM PDT reply actions
mw3 doesn't want Morrow going on the road. He'll be a "home only" starter.
mw3 must be Morrow’s wife, and doesn’t want him shooting beaver.
I will smash your face into a jelly.
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 18, 2009 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
He'd still miss the zone.
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on Jun 18, 2009 5:02 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
I enjoy how this is written like a fifth grade essay.
I think X. Here are some reaons why I think X. In conclusion, I think X.
I really dislike Brandon Morrow, the albino monkey, and think he should stay in the Amazon.
Brandon Morrow should be flinging poop at his fucking dumbass face. He should stay in the the jungle for the remainder of his miserable life. Sending him to a zoo would be a mistake. He is to much of a waste of government resources, getting out free handouts will not lead to his slow and painful demise…
Also, Randy Johnson spent 4 years in the minor leagues and Felix Hernandez doesn’t know the first thing about pitching. The stuff is not there. The ability to succeed is CLEARLY not there, and everything about this is wrong.
...and now I'm here
by CapSea on Jun 18, 2009 3:40 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
No, I got it. My comments were directed at mw3, in line with the last paragraph of Librocrat's.
Given that they require this much explanation, I apparently shouldn’t have bothered.
I really enjoy Brandon Morrow, the bobblehead.
I will have many fascinating conversations with him come tomorrow evening.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 18, 2009 4:33 PM PDT reply actions
Is he going to agree or disagree with everything?
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
Except for whether or not he wants to start
IF I WAS MANAGER I'D HAVE A FIST FIGHT WITH YUNI RIGHT NOW AND KNOCK HIS FUCKING MONKEY HEAD CLEAN OFF (~EM)
by seattlecougar on Jun 19, 2009 8:04 AM PDT up reply actions
Because I think it's hilarious.
I’ve this nagging feeling it’s created from sentences cut and pasted from various Brandon Morrow comments from around the internet. In that context, this fanpost is genius.
That was pretty much my vibe as well
IF I WAS MANAGER I'D HAVE A FIST FIGHT WITH YUNI RIGHT NOW AND KNOCK HIS FUCKING MONKEY HEAD CLEAN OFF (~EM)
by seattlecougar on Jun 18, 2009 9:03 PM PDT up reply actions
Randy Johnson learned how to pitch in the majors
Johnson did not become a full time player until he was 25.
St. Louis relievers... defying win expectancy since 2008
http://www.drivelinemechanics.com/
Thank you for clarifying that he is a pitcher!
by .Taylor on Jun 21, 2009 10:56 AM PDT reply actions
I think he was clarifying that he thinks Brandon Morrow, the person, is an asshole but that Brandon Morrow, the pitcher, could be good
No need for snark
by Dewey N on Jun 26, 2009 5:59 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
It's a much better title than the original title of the post
which was MORROW
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.

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