The World Is A Strange And Wonderful Place
Sighted last night at a San Diego-area sports bar during Game 7 of the Stanley Cup:
For those of you keeping score at home, that's a Kansas City Royals hat, a Kansas City Royals thermos, and a Kansas City Royals Angel Berroa #4 replica jersey. That guy walked in during the first period intermission, and for all my eyes cared, it might as well have been Krysten Ritter on a unicorn. I stared in quiet disbelief as he walked by our table and approached the front bar, and as soon as he turned his back I had no choice but to take his picture. How couldn't I? Were someone to ask you to visualize something really weird, you'd probably imagine a sort of wild acid trip with lavender mountains and conversational bark, but oftentimes the weirdest things are jarring in their simplicity. This was one of the weirdest things I'd ever seen.
When faced with something like this, you're left to consider two options. My first thought was that the guy was being ironic. That this was all part of some joke he was playing to get a few laughs. There were some problems with this, though. For one thing, he didn't strike me as the sort to pull something like that. He was middle-aged and ordinary, and he didn't really interact with many people, so he didn't seem like a man who does things to get a reaction. However, the bigger issue is that people only respond to irony when they understand the joke, and given that the Royals are almost as invisible around here as the Padres, it didn't work. It was too obscure. Too perfect. Angel Berroa? The Kansas City Royals? It was a setup that only people like me could appreciate, and I'm not like a lot of people. This couldn't have been a joke, because it wasn't being delivered to the right kind of audience.
So I was left with the other, far more troubling option. The man was serious. It's not that there's anything wrong with being a Royals fan, and it's not that there's anything wrong with decking yourself out with team apparel and accessories. Both of those are perfectly acceptable. I'm an Ottawa Senators and Seattle Mariners fan in San Diego who's been known to wear those logos around the city, and neither of those teams are any less out of place. A person is free to root for whatever team he wants, and a big part of that is wearing the colors into hostile or indifferent territory.
It's just...Angel Berroa? In case you're not familiar with the Angel Berroa backstory, he was a hotshot young shortstop who came up and won the Rookie of the Year in 2003 as he helped lead the Royals to their first winning season in nearly a decade. Rather than build off his success, though, Berroa's career went into a tailspin, and his productivity dropped off to the point at which he was out of a regular job before he turned 30. He hacked at everything, he made a lot of errors, and for years embittered and resentful Royals fans saw him as an emblem of everything that was wrong with a go-nowhere franchise. Unlike most Royals at the time, Berroa wasn't just bad - he was bad after being good, and that's what bothered people the most and made him stand out. Berroa was supposed to be one of the guys to lead the Royals back into relevance. Instead of making his teammates rise to his level, though, he soon sank to theirs.
Wearing an Angel Berroa Royals jersey, then, is a lot like wearing a Rick Mirer Seahawks, or, I dunno, a Mickey Brantley Mariners. You don't do it. Not if you're serious. Wearing a jersey is supposed to imbue you with a sense of pride, yet for Royals fans, Angel Berroa has been nothing but a source of considerable disappointment ever since his rookie season. The name on the back cancels out the name on the front. Why would any fan wear that? And don't bother suggesting that this guy was the world's biggest Angel Berroa fan. There's no such thing as the world's biggest Angel Berroa fan, any more than there's a world's biggest fan of Pat Meares or Jose Mesa.
Nothing about it made sense. Either this man was delusional, a man who's come apart at the seams while yearning for the halcyon days of Mark Quinn and Joe Randa, or something else was at play here. And that last bit makes me wonder - maybe Royals fans feel they have a little freedom in the jersey department. Maybe when you're a fan of a team who hasn't done anything since New Coke, you abandon all precepts of hope and earn the leeway to wear whatever the hell name you want, unshackled from the social obligation to wear the name of someone good. Carlos Febles made a nifty play once. Luis Matos was a stud. Jermaine Allensworth never got the chance he deserved. Maybe you come to the conclusion that, since people will already make fun of the team, the player makes little additional difference. That you can pick any player because you saw him go deep or because it's on sale and it just doesn't matter. I'm not sure. Is there a level of bad beyond which it would be acceptable for me to wear a Rene Rivera? On the one hand, I hope I never find out, but on the other, I'm curious.
I stopped paying attention to the guy after a little while. He wasn't really doing much, and once the hockey game resumed that kind of captured my attention. Looking back, perhaps should've asked him what the deal was, but to be honest, I like the mystery. After all, the best things in life aren't answers. They're questions.
A few years from now, if I'm sitting in a bar and a guy walks by with a Betancourt #7, I wonder what I'll think.
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71 comments
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Comments
This is why I won't ever buy a jersey of a new player within the organization.
I want to see them succeed first and become a face of the franchise. I guess my Felix jersey I bought last season is about as early as I will invest in a player.
by Wilder. on Jun 13, 2009 3:09 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
The only two jerseys I have with names are Martinez (and, no, not fucking Tino Martinez), and Ichiro.
I think I’m pretty safe with those two. Otherwise, my jerseys are nameless (replica away and BP jersey, sans names).
Also, you’re treading on thin ice, Jeff. Royals fans are not to be trifled with. Just ask Dave.
Awaiting the day I catch a Russell Branyan foul ball. I will make love to it.
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997
by JLProck on Jun 13, 2009 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I don't think Royals fans are going to disagree with my assessment of Angel Berroa
by Jeff on Jun 13, 2009 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Who knows what those people will get upset over.
MIKE JACOBS IS OUR FUCKING SAVIOR!
Awaiting the day I catch a Russell Branyan foul ball. I will make love to it.
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997
by JLProck on Jun 13, 2009 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This one doesn't
And I should also mention that I have a Jermaine O’Neal Pacers jersey that I bought for 5 bucks at Dick’s after he was traded.
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Mark Twain
by JM Barten on Jun 16, 2009 11:19 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, my first authentic jersey purchase was Edgar's.
I wanted to buy an Ichiro jersey three years ago, but it was $250. Instead, I went with the nameless/numberless authentic jersey for $120 on sale.
If the Mariners somehow make the playoffs and win the World Series this year, I would buy a Branyan jersey in commemoration.
by Wilder. on Jun 13, 2009 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Word.
Addicted To Quack [dot] com; Dear Joevan, Develop motor skills. Love, ATQ.
by qrsouther on Jun 13, 2009 8:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If Branyan signs a long term deal with Seattle I'd consider buying a Branyan authentic.
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by Jack Moore on Jun 13, 2009 9:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
...but Tino Martinez was awesome.
by great gonzalez on Jun 13, 2009 6:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He got to be ok then jumped ship to the Yankees.
Traitor.
Disclaimer: I have an unabated hate for all things Yankee.
Awaiting the day I catch a Russell Branyan foul ball. I will make love to it.
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997
by JLProck on Jun 14, 2009 2:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I felt bad for not buying a Halman WBC jersey
He sucks big time now though, and I still feel the same way.
Don’t judge someone you never had a conversation with.
by langer11 on Jun 13, 2009 3:23 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Where is the judgement?
He’s just trying to figure out what his motivations are.
by acblue on Jun 13, 2009 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
"You don't do it."
While he did not exactly say it’s stupid or something to wear this jearsy, by saying that, you do it indirectly in my unpretentious opinion.
by langer11 on Jun 13, 2009 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think you're missing point
and for the record I think we have sufficient visible evidence that this guy isn’t a part of Angel Berroa’s family.
by Jeff on Jun 13, 2009 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Those WBC jerseys are different, though.
I would love to have any of the Netherlands jerseys.
A Felix Venezuelan would be incredible.
by Wilder. on Jun 13, 2009 3:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What I find most interesting is the Royals thermos.
The Rise of a Superstar:Justin Upton-.422 wOBA, 21 years old.
by Goose on Jun 13, 2009 3:35 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I would consider wearing a Betancourt #46
but any other number is a Bad Betty.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains. -- P&P&Z
by Two Rs and Two Ls on Jun 13, 2009 3:36 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
At the first USSM/LL meetup I attended there was a dude with a throwback Amaral jersey.
by acblue on Jun 13, 2009 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
And now that I think of it it was a 70s throwback which makes it even more bizarre.
by acblue on Jun 13, 2009 3:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Amaral was great back in '71.
Awaiting the day I catch a Russell Branyan foul ball. I will make love to it.
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997
by JLProck on Jun 13, 2009 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Was that at the Seattle Library
in this room? because I think I remember that.
by mark sobba on Jun 13, 2009 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
yeah, I wasn't sure if it was at that m&g
or at the other one were dave was calling people out for their misguided fandom.
by mark sobba on Jun 13, 2009 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Mystery Solved?
Comment from Royals Review “100 Greatest Royals of All-Time-#64 Angel Berroa”:
by Fuckmikereilly on Jun 13, 2009 3:49 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Holy teeth!
Awaiting the day I catch a Russell Branyan foul ball. I will make love to it.
Preserved In All His Greatness - R.I.P. The Reignman 1989 to 1997
by JLProck on Jun 13, 2009 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Seems like a "100 Greatest" list is a bad idea when a franchise is only 40 years old
Can we name 100 M’s players who can be considered “great” or even “good?” I think Brantastic may have already cracked the top 20.
I never really liked the old tagline.
CougCenter
by Dancing Football on Jun 13, 2009 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hmmm, yes
Seems like something they should be put on the video board at safeco. It’s retirement press conference is scheduled for today at 4:32 PST.
I never really liked the old tagline.
CougCenter
by Dancing Football on Jun 13, 2009 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
oops..
“that” should be put…
I never really liked the old tagline.
CougCenter
by Dancing Football on Jun 13, 2009 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have a Johjima jersey.
I plan on wearing that when I go see the Diamondbacks in a few weeks.
by mark sobba on Jun 13, 2009 4:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Maybe HIS name is Berroa :)
A few years back (in the dead, dead days of the franchise) over at the UW there was a nice young man who wore his powder-blue Royals jacket every day of his 4 year University career. Some people are just fans.
by msb on Jun 13, 2009 4:47 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Clearly he is a Berroa.
And not Worwitzki or Krueger.
by Mariner John on Jun 13, 2009 11:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Where does one obtain a Royals thermos?
by NOLAmarinergirl on Jun 13, 2009 5:25 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Sleeping hobo outside Kauffman?
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
by pdb on Jun 13, 2009 10:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Just a guess.
He probably bought it in 2003 and never wanted to dish out the $200 for a new one. Besides, who would he buy? Until this year with Greinke, there haven’t been exactly stars in Kansas City. Carlos Beltran Maybe?
Thug Life
by Slow Country on Jun 13, 2009 6:37 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
It was a replica, not a $200 authentic
Sweeney? Soria? Anyone but Angel flipping Berroa?
by Jeff on Jun 13, 2009 6:49 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Who would he buy? It’s not like there aren’t other players, both recent and not-so-recent, that you could wear with pride. OK, limited pride – you would still be a Royals fan – but still. Berroa? I mean, I’m happy to have my Appier jersey and all (even if I rarely wear it), but it’s a puzzle
Maybe they gave the thing away at the stadium at some point, maybe in the ’04 season, and he figures, eh, why not?
by jbuergel on Jun 13, 2009 11:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Royals never gave away Berroa jerseys.
…a T-Shirt, but no Jersey. The only replica jersey giveaway with a player’s name in recent memory was Billy Butler last year. This year they gave out a generic KC home jersey bearing the number 40, to celebrate the franchise’s 40th anniversary… only problem is, we do have a number 40 on the roster this year: Farnsworth.
Since our franchise was founded in ‘69 (along with your Mariners) the team should have just put a “69” on this year’s giveaway jersey. That way, the secondary implication would have been less offensive.
by kcemigre on Jun 16, 2009 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
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http://www.rightfieldbleachers.com
by Jack Moore on Jun 13, 2009 6:51 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
So I guess I should never wear my Jim Horner jersey around you.
...and now I'm here
by Librocrat on Jun 13, 2009 11:21 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I feel like my Rowland-Smith and Clement jerseys will one day meet this fate.
by Mariner John on Jun 13, 2009 11:47 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
They are so not our version of Angel Berroa
by Jeff on Jun 14, 2009 1:18 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well, I'll be on Straight Cash Homey at least.
If I had a Jeff Cirillo jersey maybe.
by Mariner John on Jun 14, 2009 1:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm so glad I didn't buy a
Chris Young jersey.
The Rise of a Superstar:Justin Upton-.422 wOBA, 21 years old.
by Goose on Jun 14, 2009 2:10 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
"A few years from now, if I'm sitting in a bar and a guy walks by with a Betancourt #7, I wonder what I'll think."
“Yuni? What the heck are you doing here?”
by msb on Jun 14, 2009 12:17 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Not an exact parallel with Berroa, but I have a game-worn Spezio jersey.
My friends and I were drinking beer waiting for the crowd to disperse from our stolen front row seats. After Spezio had a rare awesome game he was being interviewed for FSN. He took his jersey off after the interview and was talking to Angie when I drunkenly yelled, “Hey Spezio, let me get that!” He then handed me the jersey.
I hope you die. I hope we BOTH die.
by BRKLN M'S on Jun 14, 2009 5:14 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
The Jersey
would suggest a diehard Royals fan, that just hasn’t up dated his ‘select’ Royals attire in awhile, and apparently only watched ’03 season. The thermos, suggests a far darker potentially medical condition.
This write up was hilarious, you are correct some of the most shocking things in life, don’t have answers and are very simple.
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Jun 15, 2009 8:33 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

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