ManRam ---> 50 game suspension
by JI on May 7, 2009 9:06 AM PDT
186 comments
Manny Ramirez has been suspended 50 games for a positive test for performance-enhancing drugs, the Los Angeles Times reported on its Web site Thursday morning.
Ramirez is expected to attribute the positive test results to medication he received from a doctor for a personal medical issue, the Times reported, citing a source familiar with the matter.
The Dodgers informed AAA outfielder Xavier Paul Thursday morning that he was being promoted to the big-league club, according to the report.
MORE TO COME
More to come indeed
UPDATE
According to Scott Boras Manny has not been suspended for steroids, rather a substance prescribed by a doctor that was on the no fly list. I have no idea how the drug rules work but you think he'd get an appeal or something if this is the case.
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L.A.'s savior has become a martyr!
This is pretty hilarious. I couldn’t really care less who used steroids, but I really never expected to see Manny’s name pop up.
by Teej on May 7, 2009 9:08 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
At this point I'm expecting just about everybody's name to come up
Enough so that this didn’t really surprise me much at all. I’ve never really suspected him of it, but it’s gotten to a point that I’ll have a hard time being surprised of anybody.
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
by tootthekazoo on May 7, 2009 9:10 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'd be surprised if Griffey was named
Maybe it’s because he stinks now, though.
by Schaefer on May 7, 2009 9:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The only names that would really break my heart are Frank Thomas and Albert Pujols.
Thomas not only because of his ‘90s awesomeness, but also because he always been so amazingly outspoken about steroids in the game - and not just recently, when it would be politically convenient to say some appropriate things about PEDs, but dating all the way back to the mid’90s and onwards. Remember, he was sole MLB player to volunteer to speak to the Mitchell Report committee on the record. Thankfully, I think the aforementioned factors suggest pretty damn strongly that he was indeed one of the clean ones. One of the few, possibly.
As for Pujols, well that needs no explanation. I know that there have been whispers about certain associations in the past, but I’m willing to discount them and judge the man on his demonstrated character (which is immense — read up on his bio, or read Posnanski’s SI story, for more). But man, that would shatter me.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 7, 2009 10:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
WTF? How did a strikethrough appear on my post? It's as if God was editing me.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 7, 2009 10:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Two hyphens in a paragraph.
SBN, like LL, realizes that there is no possible way to have two hyphens in one area, as the awesomeness would implode on itself.
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
by Faux on May 7, 2009 10:27 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
How are we supposed to use an em-dash?
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on May 7, 2009 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
One at a time, I suppose.
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
by Faux on May 7, 2009 11:59 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
An em-dash is usually signified with consecutive hyphens.
It’s one of my favourite pieces of punctutation—though I might overuse it—and I’d hate to be deprived.
Really, the em-dash is what people are trying to use when they set a clause apart from a sentence with hyphens like esoteric did.
Let’s see what this does.
Hey, cool. They work fine. Nevermind, then.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on May 7, 2009 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm guilty of overusing it, too. It's a beautiful tool.
by Teej on May 7, 2009 1:34 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I am addicted to apposite clauses and parentheticals, hence the em-dash and parentheses are my two favorite pieces of punctuation in the English language
Followed swiftly thereupon by the semi-colon, of course.
The problem, obviously, is that it encourages my tendency for incredibly long, winding sentences. Grammatically correct ones, though!
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 8, 2009 8:55 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Griffey? Edgar?
angels fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on May 7, 2009 10:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Edgar would break me, yes. Add another one.
For some strange reason I don’t feel the same way about Griffey. I can’t rationally explain what is, ultimately, a gut feeling.
Also, I’d be terribly disappointed if Lance Berkman were to come up. Another guy who has been admirably outspoken and hardline about PEDs.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 7, 2009 10:24 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I wouldn't be surprised at all if Griffey had ever tested positive
I would be a bit surprised if positive test had occurred during his best years, but only because his style of play was so natural that it wouldn’t seem necessary. But even then, knowing how many players were likely on the juice during the mid-late 90’s, I couldn’t hold it against him. His later years wouldn’t surprise me one bit, if only because of how many injuries he had to overcome.
I want to poop at your house - Thingray
by tootthekazoo on May 7, 2009 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Griffey looks honest from an external point of view because his career followed a much more traditional pre-steroids arc
In other words, he was glorious in his prime, but he started breaking down HARD in predictable (as opposed to freakish “pulled a muscle while sneezing”) ways as he aged and the Reaper approached. Similar to Frank Thomas, really: they both were unstoppable titans in their twenties, but started slowing down significantly and declining steadily in value (more or less) as they aged. No late-career Barry Bondslike surges, or even impressively steady age-defying consistency.
In the absence of any other knowledge, this is something to cling to. A thin reed, perhaps. But cling I shall.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 8, 2009 9:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
L.A. Times:
In an appearance at USC last month, Jose Canseco said Ramirez’s name “is most likely, 90%” on a list of 104 players that failed a drug test in 2003.
by Teej on May 7, 2009 9:11 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Beat me to it
Who would of thought that Jose Canseco is an incredibly reliable source?
by edddgar on May 7, 2009 9:12 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He has been the most accurate voice through this whole thing as far as naming names
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 9:13 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well, he usually names the names of stars so whatever.
by JI on May 7, 2009 9:18 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
doesn't mean much really
nobody’s named Pujols yet, and he’s a star. I have no great love for Jose Canseco, but throughout this whole thing whenever he’s opened his mouth and talked about steroids, the names he’s named have eventually been found to be users.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 9:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He's a scumbag, but his rumors have pretty much all been true.
I actually think it’s significant to note the names of players he HASN’T named: Schilling for one (they hate each other, publicly, and Schilling has been pretty outspoken about PEDs), Thomas for another.
I doubt he would have too much info on Pujols one way or another, though. Different league, different region, no personal contact.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 7, 2009 10:23 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
In that he names everyone
and all the guys caught so far fall in the set everyone, so yeah.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on May 7, 2009 11:56 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I bet you could name a bunch of sluggers at random and be accurate close to 60-70% of the time.
by JI on May 7, 2009 9:14 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Just look at all the players that have flirted with historically amazing numbers over the last 20 years
And then assume that that’s only about 2% of the users in the league.
by johnbai on May 7, 2009 10:20 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It's amazing how many players were flirting with historically amazing numbers even before steroids.
by JI on May 7, 2009 10:30 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It's amazing that people don't seem to grasp that our current players are miles better than the historical ones, steroids or no
by Graham on May 7, 2009 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What a joke.
Everybody knows player were better back in the day. They played the game the right way, consarnit.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 7, 2009 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes
My thoughts about steroid use and statistical anomalies must be because I’m too stupid to grasp that athletes are much better these days.
by johnbai on May 7, 2009 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's not what Graham is referring to, John
and I’m pretty sure you know that.
by Matthew on May 7, 2009 2:06 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Holy fuck.
I will smash your face into a jelly.
by Phildopip on May 7, 2009 9:17 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
What a doofus.
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on May 7, 2009 9:17 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I bet they're glad they have Juan Pierre now.
by abender20 on May 7, 2009 9:17 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
If only they had an insurance policy in AAA
another former star OFer just ready for a resurgence. A guy like, Andruw Jones maybe!
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 9:30 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's just Xavier being Xavier
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 9:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So if he becomes a 2 WAR player...
Does he become Win Dos XP???
This signature space for rent.
by PositivePaul on May 7, 2009 11:03 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Joe Torre is still the manager
and given the way he fucked over Andy LaRoche and now Blake DeWitt I don’t expect Paul to play much.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 11:29 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah but going into last year
no one knew that. He let Blake DeWitt start for like a month off the strength of like one small hot streak.
I’ve seen Dodgers fans thinking that having Torre means the team will be okay. Honestly last year they won in spite of him a lot of the time. Scott Proctor getting hurt was probably a bigger boon to the Dodgers than the Manny trade.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 2:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I can see Juan Pierre saying
“Everything’s coming up Juan Pierre” in a total Milhouse voice.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Time for James Loney to find his testicles.
by abender20 on May 7, 2009 9:25 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Seriously
if Loney and Martin don’t start hitting for some power again the Dodgers are fucked.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 9:29 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
On the bright side of things, this gives the Nationals a golden opportunity to end that home-game win streak!
Jordan Zimmermann, a lonely nation turns its eyes to you.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 7, 2009 10:26 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well done.
Sure, that 6 run first stung a bit, but the next six innings of shutdown ball were impressively mature.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 8, 2009 9:01 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well that makes me very sad
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org
by I'm NOT Corco on May 7, 2009 9:28 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
If Manny was looking to enhance his body,
why didn’t he do what everyone else in LA does and get a boob job?
by abender20 on May 7, 2009 9:32 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Maybe he got bitch tits like A-Rod.
angels fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on May 7, 2009 9:33 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Manny might be the one athlete who I might believe when he says that he had no idea what he put into his body.
by Robert on May 7, 2009 9:44 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I thought it was candy.
angels fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on May 7, 2009 9:45 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
"I was at a party, totally tripping balls, and somone handed me a needle. I'm not one to turn down a gift."
by abender20 on May 7, 2009 9:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The most well-thought-out product ever.
angels fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on May 7, 2009 9:51 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
WTF?
Are those real?
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on May 7, 2009 11:57 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
They were. Recalled after they realized what the hell people.
angels fan in seattle
by Eyebrows on May 7, 2009 12:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Suddenly unable to distinguish flavor-filled snacks from regular legos
millions of children died from trying to swallow the contents of their toy box.
by johnbai on May 7, 2009 2:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I fail to see the problem with this.
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
by Faux on May 7, 2009 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I used to give them to my charges.
(The gummy ones)
♥
by royalcurve on May 7, 2009 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
A lot of drugs are proscribed
Specifically, all the fun drugs, steroids, and a lot of stimulants. I assume if it wasn’t a steroid it was a stimulant.
A non-exhaustive list is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_League_Baseball_drug_policy
by Paytheline on May 7, 2009 9:52 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
On the other hand,
It seems that only steroids or failure to abide by a rehab program earns the 50 game suspension.
I don’t know. Whatever.
Bad Manny.
by Paytheline on May 7, 2009 9:57 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He's apparently waived his right to appeal and issued an apology
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 10:14 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I thought Bob Costas was smarter than this. >:(
by JI on May 7, 2009 10:16 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Huh... I have never heard someone say this before
But I have an unwavering hatred for Bob Costas.
by johnbai on May 7, 2009 10:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I always thought he was one of the more thoughtful sportscasters
but he just spouted off every annoying cliche about The Steroid Era possible.
by JI on May 7, 2009 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
There's this quote also
"Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I’ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons."
Your favorite meme is dead
by Edanger6 on May 7, 2009 10:25 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Code for "my masking agents used to be a lot more reliable than this, goddammit."
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 7, 2009 10:27 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
In addition
A source close to Manny Ramirez(notes) said Thursday that the illegal substance for which the Los Angeles Dodgers slugger tested positive was not "an agent customarily used for performance enhancing."
The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Major League Baseball notified Ramirez of the positive test after Wednesday night’s Dodger victory over the Washington Nationals. Ramirez admitted to having taken the substance in question and declined to appeal. His 50-game suspension begins today.
"The substance is not a steroid and it is not human-growth hormone," the source said.
by Fett42 on May 7, 2009 10:33 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Pot usually isn't used for enhancing performance
by seattlebruin on May 7, 2009 10:38 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It enhances my performance when my wife is stoned.
by Sec 108 on May 7, 2009 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I didn't realize you married a witch.
by abender20 on May 7, 2009 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He actually married Phish
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 10:57 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Dodgers knew Manny would cave in and sign with a California team
Medical Marijuana baby!
by johnbai on May 7, 2009 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Out of this list..
Any guesses?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_League_Baseball_drug_policy#List_of_banned_substances_.28not_exhaustive.29
Only the list of 30 Stimulants would seem likely.
Your favorite meme is dead
by Edanger6 on May 7, 2009 10:49 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I've narrowed it down to three possibilities
Most of the Stimulants on that list are appetite suppressants or just straight up speed.
These three seem to be the most likely.
This one makes the most sense and would possibly explain some “Manny Moments” as it treats narcolepsy and sleep apnea
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modafinil
This one is similar, it treats narcolepsy and ADHD – it’s brand name is Ritalin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylphenidate
and this one is the same as above
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylphenidate
Your favorite meme is dead
by Edanger6 on May 7, 2009 11:07 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow, ballplayers can't take Ritalin?
That’s fucked up. I mean, I understand it, it’s a mild stimulant, and it has been shown to improve mental performance, but still. That drug’s as ubiquitous as Aspirin or Rogaine.
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
by Faux on May 7, 2009 11:10 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
And to get 50 games
for first offense? If that indeed is what it was. I definitely could see Manny having ADHD
Your favorite meme is dead
by Edanger6 on May 7, 2009 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hmmm...
According to the Wiki – the first offense for Steroids is 50 games; 2nd Failure to comply with Treatment Program = 25-50 days; and 2nd offense for conviction of prohibited substance usage. I’m guessing this is the first offense and Steroids, because the other two would’ve been made public earlier.
Wiki, however, could be wrong of course…
This signature space for rent.
by PositivePaul on May 7, 2009 11:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Didn't we already learn this
from Tyler Johnson? He had to get a waiver to take his Ritalin.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
A lot of ballplayers take Ritalin
They just get a waiver. It would appear Manny got suspended here because he forgot to obtain a waiver.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on May 7, 2009 11:59 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Manny is textbook ADHD and I'm pretty sure he's been diagnosed with it formally, although he feels comfortable playing without it.
So i’d be surprised if this was over a stimulant like that. And Mike Cameron only got 25 games or so for testing positive for a stimulant – I think that’s the standard punishment for that (although I might be wrong).
by Decatur on May 7, 2009 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I am truly and utterly saddended by this and I have nothing more to add. I'm just very upset by all this shit.
I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.
by EnglishMariner on May 7, 2009 10:57 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
You'll get used to it
Seriously, after the first few it just rolls right off your back.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
At this point, there are very few players who's guiltiness would cause me to do anything more than shrug.
by abender20 on May 7, 2009 11:01 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I really like Manny though, I think he has a beautiful swing.
I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.
by EnglishMariner on May 7, 2009 11:04 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don't worry, he still does.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips
Proud father of Juan Carlos Perez. Think Albert Pujols at second.
by marcello on May 7, 2009 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This does not change the fact he has a beautiful swing and is fun to watch
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He won't be for the next 50 games.
I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.
by EnglishMariner on May 7, 2009 2:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
And how fucking stupid is that doctor?
It took me less than 30 seconds to find the MLB list of banned substances. One would think he would at least double check. Manny, ultimately is responsible for what he puts in his body, but the doctor kinda screwed him him on this one.
Your favorite meme is dead
by Edanger6 on May 7, 2009 11:43 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
If the doctor told Manny he needed to apply for a waiver from MLB to use the drug,
are you that confident Manny would actually remember to apply?
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on May 7, 2009 12:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not in Florida
Don’t think it’s legal there.
Your favorite meme is dead
by Edanger6 on May 7, 2009 11:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Sexual enhancer is what he took, huh. He seems the lazy type in bed too.
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on May 7, 2009 11:48 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Paraphrasing TJ Quinn of ESPN:
Apparently MLB noticed a high testosterone level in one of Manny’s drug test. They then investigated and found evidence of a drug called HCG (fertility drug) that raises testosterone levels in men. It’s not entirely certain at this point if MLB has a flunked test, but they levied the suspension yesterday and Manny indicated he would appeal. MLB officials were in LA all day yesterday, and Manny waived his right to appeal last night after the game.
I go to law school. Therefore, I have no life.
by andrewgolfsalot on May 7, 2009 11:55 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Manny's trying to have a baby?
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on May 7, 2009 12:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Also, according to a doctor at NYU:
HCG has been on the banned substance list of the World Anti-Doping Agency / MLB list for a long, long time.
According to sources, a test of Manny in ST showed high levels of exogenous (made outside the body) testosterone. That caused MLB to investigate.
When you use anabolic steroids it decreases your testosterone levels, and this drug is used, when used in connection with doping, to restart the natural production of testosterone when a person is coming off of a steroid cycle.
Not a cause-effect thing here, and nothing that proves he was using steroids, but this drug is the same drug or type of drug that Giambi and Bonds both admitted to using in the BALCO case.
I go to law school. Therefore, I have no life.
by andrewgolfsalot on May 7, 2009 12:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is the specific drug that supposedly Manny is linked to
And here is how it’s specifically linked to steroid use.
I go to law school. Therefore, I have no life.
by andrewgolfsalot on May 7, 2009 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Perhaps he really does have Hypoganadism
Some it’s effects are
Effects of low testosterone in men may include: (not all are present in any single individual)
Difficulty in choosing words in language
Fatigue
Muscle loss/atrophy
Dementia-like memory loss
Erectile Dysfunction
Increasing weight
Slight increase size of breasts
Depression
Anxiety
Hot flashes
Difficulty concentrating
Irritability
Psychological and relationship problems
Anemia
Infertility
Decrease in firmness of testicles
Impaired growth of the penis and testicles
Night Sweats
Your favorite meme is dead
by Edanger6 on May 7, 2009 12:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You stay classy, Bill Plaschke.
No one in sports media that I hate more, and that includes Skip Bayless.
by Matthew on May 7, 2009 12:17 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I tried to get one, but couldn't.
It was a video piece on the ESPN carousel of a phone interview with him this morning on SportsCenter.
by Matthew on May 7, 2009 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is it:
Here.
I go to law school. Therefore, I have no life.
by andrewgolfsalot on May 7, 2009 5:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
His article in the L.A. Times today says the same thing, basically.
Plaschke is such a douche.
Although strangely enough I’ve developed a genuine fondness for T.J. Simers, flaws and all.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 8, 2009 8:50 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Holy fuckpants I can't even read today's Plaschke
I got as far as
“The giddy streets are lined in shadows. The colorful houses are painted in lies. The friendly shops are stocked with juice. The mayor is a drug cheat.”
and I had to stop out of fear for my sanity. I assume it doesn’t get any better?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 8, 2009 9:01 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It gets worse, if you're into that sort of rubbernecking thing.
Read Simers’ column (also in the L.A. Times) today for a much, much, MUCH better take on Mannygate.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 8, 2009 9:19 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Why did you just call it Mannygate?
For the love of all that is good and holy use something other than that please.
by Sec 108 on May 8, 2009 9:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Thank you
I HATE the affixing of -gate to everything even remotely controversial. For the last time, the breakins did NOT occur at the Water apartments, and no gate was broken. They were at the Watergate. Therefore this should really be called Mannywatergate. Which is just a mouthful.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 8, 2009 9:24 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I've always wanted Bill gates to get in serious trouble
Just to see if the lazy Media would call it Gatesgate.
by Sec 108 on May 8, 2009 9:36 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Hilariously enough, I knew as I wrote that word that it was an affront to common decency.
I actually agree with your point. As to why I wrote it? I’m just a lazy prick, I guess.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 8, 2009 9:43 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
PRICKGATE!
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 8, 2009 9:50 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I loved that FJM called him California's poet laureate.
Every time I see one of his pieces in the LA Times, I just want to light my breakfast on fire and run screaming into traffic.
by abender20 on May 8, 2009 9:50 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The day Plaschke retires
will be the second best day in LA sports history.
The first will be when TJ Slimers retires.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I actually have grown to enjoy Simers quite a bit.
He and Jeff Kent had a truly funny schtick going on for several years there. An Andy Kaufmanesque media art comedy duo, and I’m not being sarcastic…they were both in on that joke and worked it because they found it amusing.
Plaschke is irredeemable, though.
Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism
by esoteric on May 8, 2009 8:52 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'll admit I have been actively avoiding Simers for years
so maybe he has gotten better.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 8, 2009 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Uh, wow. Don't read the Fangraphs comments if you value your sanity.
Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?
by Benne on May 7, 2009 12:31 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You can't hide from the omnipresent eye.
by Goose on May 7, 2009 1:04 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I'd go with ambivalence tinged with boredom but that's just me
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Apparently Manny had a limp bat
If gossip sites can be trusted, that is. It seems to fit, though, in the context of everything else-
The Dirty: Exclusive Email
IF I WAS MANAGER I'D HAVE A FIST FIGHT WITH YUNI RIGHT NOW AND KNOCK HIS FUCKING MONKEY HEAD CLEAN OFF (~EM)
by seattlecougar on May 7, 2009 1:32 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
can it be assumed
that a site called “the dirty” is not safe for work?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm going to avoid clicking it just to be on the safe side.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Here's the full "email" with the protected source - no naked women, but on in a bikini on the site's top frame.
I highly doubt Manny Ramirez’s lover would call him “Papi.” This is dubious to say the least.
Source E-Mail 1: I have information about the Manny Ramirez steroid scandal that I would like to make public but I need my identity kept confidential. Can you assure me you will not use or try to find out my name or identity?
My E-Mail: Not an issue… I keep all sources protected. I will post whatever info you give me on the site, but that is it. What’s up?
Source E-Mail 2: I am pretty sure I know why Manny has been taking this pill he has been taking and I want the world to know. I moved to LA about 3 years ago to become an actress and I met Manny at a bar in Hollywood. I had no idea who he was when we met but we just hit it off. We have been seeing each other off and on for the past 2 seasons and our relationship was mostly sexual. About 6 months ago I noticed his sex drive and erection quality was not as good as when we first met. He would say it was stress related but it was really affecting him both emotionally and affecting our relationship. I told him that maybe he should go see a doctor and get Viagra. Not thinking anything of it, he told me about 2 weeks later that "he took care of it". I turn on the TV today and I see this huge scandal and the only thing that keeps going over in my mind is, is this my fault? Did I push him to take something to get better erections and a stronger sex drive and its going to get him banned from baseball? Everyone keeps asking why he did not go to the team doctor, it was because he was embarrassed to let the team doctor know about his problem. I don’t want to be involved in the story but I just wanted to let the world know, it is not Manny’s fault, it is mine. I don’t think he is going to fight it because I think he is embarrassed. I am sorry papi.
My E-Mail: Don’t blame yourself… there is no crying in baseball. lol Everything will work it self out… it always does
by Decatur on May 7, 2009 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dubious doesn't even begin to describe this
this is like baseball player slash fiction.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 2:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
To be fair I noticed the same thing last time I slept with Manny.
by Sec 108 on May 7, 2009 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm sure it wasn't you. It happens. No, really.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 7, 2009 2:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That shit
Grosses me out. There’s like a whole LJ site devoted to it that I stumbled onto, and it just makes me nervous….
~The Official LookoutLanding Poster Who Dreams Of Doing Naughty Naughty Things To Russell Branyan~
by section331 on May 7, 2009 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That site is hilarious
but I don’t think it is true.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dodgers holding a press conference at 4:30PM PST
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 2:08 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Heh.
Caller who thinks the juicing is unfair because someone like Willie Bloomquist can’t compete
by msb on May 7, 2009 3:29 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Haha Ned Coletti shutting up Bill Plaschke
Respect++
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 4:56 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Manny enjoys that the fans get turned on by him
he likes playing games with them. – Joe Torre.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 4:58 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Joe Torre vouching for Manny's work ethic
Fangraphs trolls loading up on ammo against Dave.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 7, 2009 5:03 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
The Dodgers jumped out to a 6-0 lead in the first inning against the Nationals.
……..
And lost.
by ThundaPC on May 7, 2009 10:47 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I blame steroids
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 8, 2009 9:02 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I blame Joe Torre's poor bull pen usage.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 8, 2009 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
MLB.com is cold blooded
“Who gets Manny’s All-Star votes in the outfield?”
I hope Dodgers fans vote him in just to piss of MLB.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
by bluemax on May 8, 2009 12:26 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
This is an excellent idea.
If he’s still on the ballot, I’m gonna fill them out just to vote for him to start in left field.
….wait, will his suspension be up by then?
You can't hide from the omnipresent eye.
by Goose on May 9, 2009 12:05 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
His suspension should be up by then, yes.
This is a great idea though. I love Manny and would love to see him play in the All Star Game despite only playing ~50 games when the ASG is played.
by Kirkharbaugh on May 9, 2009 4:34 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
They should tack on another 50 games because he's such an arrogant SOB!
How stupid can you get?
by SW WA Coug on May 9, 2009 2:27 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I guess $8m + HOF consideration was worth it to him....
The list continues to grow. Who’s next?
by SW WA Coug on May 10, 2009 3:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
That guy is such an arrogant dick. Posing all smugly after his family-oriented charity work.
by abender20 on May 11, 2009 2:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He also went from being a fat junior college kid the scouts were lukewarm on
to being a Greek God
by JI on May 11, 2009 8:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
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