Return of the Anagrams
It's been a while since we've updated our nicknames with some of the newer players on the team, so I thought I'd quickly run a few guys through the anagram generator and see if anything enjoyable came out. Here are some o' the results:
Endy Chavez:
Ad Chevy Zen
David Aardsma:
Sad Dad Via Arm (Potentially a perfect name of him)
Chris Jakubauskas:
Jackass Haiku Rubs
Franklin Gutierrez:
Franternize Lurking
Flakier Zinger Runt
Rear Infringe Klutz
Referral Gunk In Zit
Mark Lowe:
Leak Worm
Male Work
Walk More
Ronny Cedeno:
No Nerdy Cone
Russell Branyan:
Arras Belly Nuns
Urbanely Snarls
Sly Anal Burners
Run Blarney Lass
Rob Johnson:
Bros On John
Shawn Kelley:
Shank Ye Well
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Male Work looks like it should be a name for Gutierrez.
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
Some slight rearrangements:
“Jackass Haiku Rubs” could easily be “Haiku Jack Rubs Ass” shortened to the wonderfully opaque Haiku Jack.
Ad Chevy Zen makes more sense as Chevy Ad Zen… as in the zen frame of mind I go into between innings while I’m bombarded with car adverts. Either way, Chevy seems like the right abbreviated nickname.
Rear infringe Klutz sounds like the accidental sodomizer.
And Walk More is apropos of pitching, but Leak Worm sounds cool.
Sly Anal Burners will cause me to laugh for days… because fart jokes are ALWAYS funny.
And I’m not happy at all about this Bros on John thing. Let’s nix that one right now!
John on Bros?

It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
So awesome.
On Dancing With the Stars*, Lil Kim was wearing a “Hated It!” shirt with a picture of those guys. I was quite pleased.
*My girlfriend was watching as I watched the M’s on the laptop like a man, eating a turkey leg.
by Teej on May 6, 2009 10:06 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Two snaps up and arouuuuund the world!
by Kermit. on May 6, 2009 11:11 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I love Sly Anal Burners
But I think I prefer Blarney Lass as a good nickname for Branyan.
And Gunk In Zit Referral is incredibly gross.
"Anger Seen"
Which is what you’d see if you saw me when I heard that ‘Tuesdays with Sean Green’ was cancelled because he got traded. Maybe we could sign a petition?
More
Denny Stark:
Dank Sentry
Snaky Trend
Ken Griffey Junior:
Fee Forking Injury
Unify Freer Joking
Offer Key Injuring
Foreign Fiery Junk
Foreign Junkie Fry
Foreign Jerk Unify
Ignore Iffy Junker
Ken Griffey Junior =
O Griff knee injury
or
King of free injury
Jason Vargas = Java Sarongs
Garrett Olson = Gloat Snorter (!!!!)
Or 'Lager Snot Rot'
I’ve been to a few pubs that could be described this way….
Will Snot Rot Lager be making an appearance
in an upcoming Series Preview?
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
More
Don Wakamatsu: Mad Swank Auto, A Woman At Dusk,
Carlos Silva: Call Saviors
David Aardsma: Davids a Drama
I think the combo:
Rear Infringe Klutz
and
Sly Anal Burners
make an especially good duo.
Yuniesky Betancourt=
Trade me I’m a useless player and Ronny Cedeno is superior to me in every way.
You got slurved bitch.
A Yeti
would have better range. There’s stories of bigfoot keeping up with horses and even cars!
by chrisisasavage on May 7, 2009 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions
I'd make a yeti
a pitcher. I’ve read stories of bigfoot killing deer by throwing rocks. You think RJ get’s extra boost from his size, imagine a 8’6" 650 lb Sasquatch.
by chrisisasavage on May 7, 2009 8:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Beaten Your Tiny Suck
Entertain Suck By You
I Not Yearn YuBet Suck
You Bunny Trick Tease
A True Tiny Ebony Suck
...and now I'm here
I should add that even though you were off by a "Y"
This is still remarkably cool.
...and now I'm here
Yeah, I got a little over-excited when I saw that
I didn’t double-check my work. My 4th-grade teacher would be pissed.
"Batter Nine, You Sucky"
is still pretty dark good, so it is still a great discovery.
...and now I'm here
Yuniesky Betancourt Hates UZR
Bacon Turkey Rye Tuna Size Tush
by chrisisasavage on May 6, 2009 11:04 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Ryan Rowland-Smith
Bad omens here:
Madly Arrows Ninth
Randomly Trash Win
Warlord Yams Ninth
Drains War Monthly
Hit Lands Awry Norm
Yikes
Ninth My Radar Slow
Arm Hardly Wins Ton
Arm Draws Hint Only
I love RRS, but this is concerning
by chrisisasavage on May 6, 2009 11:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Gentlemen! I bring you the news that Mike Sweeney
…is Meek Weeny.
Miguel Batista
I am Beluga Tits
Mike Sweeny
Is Meek Weeny
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
Wait, what?
I thought we were just calling people names here
Jack Zduriencik:
DJ UZR: a nice kick
(give me a break; he’s got a tough name)
I can't believe I didn't see it before!!!!!
Mike Sweeney = Mike’s Weeney!!!
I’m a fucking genius.
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
by Faux on May 7, 2009 12:30 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Also,

It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
Preemptively...
Joshua Fields
His Fleas Judo
A Selfish Judo
Jehad Foils Us
Jailed Ho Fuss
Jihad Ole Fuss
Slue Of Jihads
Aids Fuel Josh
Fail Sued Josh
Failed Us, Josh
La Judo Fishes
Jail Feds Oh Us (*ZOMG!)
As Judos Elf Hi
I, Jades Of Lush
This signature space for rent.
Mike Saunders: Admires Nukes
Mike Wilson: Simile Wonk or Inked Masseur
Jeffrey Burton Clement
My Object: Ferret Funnel
And for fans of the low-minors
Joseph Dunigan = Neon Pugs Jihad
Stephen Strasburg
Saber Strengths Up
Batter Pens Shrugs
Bat Presents Shrug
Thus Serpent Brags
The Breasts Sprung
Hmmm
Start Begs Pen Rush
Bang Herpes Struts
Zduriencik wakamatsu
I draw uncut kamikazes
Awake Antic Rims Kudzu (for you vegophiles)
I make a wizard suck nut
A wiz untied, karma suck
Doublemint Twins, I'd swear someone has done this one but I can't find it.
Stumbled Ion Twin
Tumbled Into Wins
Blunted Moist Win
Numbed Loin Twist
Dumbest Lint Wino
Next bullpen call-up Doug Fister
Fudge Riots
Or, more ominously, Turgid Foes.
And god's gift to anagrams, Matt Tuiasosopo:
Motto: Ass Utopia
Or, less cool, Ass Tattoo Opium.
Is it just me, or have they just been phoning it in the past few months?
Utopia is a strong word, and I feel like they’re settling for less.
Ken Griffey Jr.
Reffing Jerky
Garett Olson
Total Goners
Strange Tool
Toast Longer
Toast Longer works.

Also, shades of Kirby?

It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray

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